All in 2 weeks’ work

This is very different from the IT industry. I had to justify my need for a computer before they give me one. I have been bringing my laptop for 2 weeks now since I couldn’t stand not having my own computer (By the way, I got a Toshiba Satellite instead. Cheaper, more practical, same color as my Visor Prism and with all the features I need!).

Isn’t a computer a staple office equipment?

Sigh.

Despite the fact that my company is still in the Jurassic era in terms of computers and the Internet, my 2 weeks here have so far been very productive.

On my first day at work, I found out that a Filipina buys an average of 8 lipsticks in a year.

On my 3rd day, I was eating financial models and statements for lunch with my CEO. Now I know what those ROI, RRI and PNL stand for. And hey, I now know how to make them, too!

They flew me to a conference on my 4th and 5th day so I could learn the ropes of the new business channel I am supposed to develop.

Yes, they do not scrimp on the education and training of employees.

I have been spending a lot of time attending product trainings and store exposures. Half of it had been fun, the other half stressful, what with all the business and operation plans I need to write!

But ask me about those body butter and dry oil mist stuff – I know! Thanks to the product and training managers.

After 2 weeks, I have also developed a higher regard and deeper respect for store clerks, merchandisers and staff. They are more commonly known as dispachadoras – as popularized by that Annie Batungbakal song of the ‘80s.

You don’t know how tiring it is to stand all day and put up with the shit that some customers give them. If they break something in the store or an inventory gets lost because of shoplifting, they pay for it. And these are minimum wage earners.

Last Saturday, I went shopping for a new pair of shoes again. I was nicer to the guy clerk. Even went out of my way to look at his ID to know his name. I thanked him and addressed him by his first name.

He was surprised – but smiled sincerely – flattered that I did call him by his name.

Simple lang, di ba? Pero nakakaalis ng pagod kahit papano.

So if you guys think it’s all about kakikayan or how glamorous it is to work for a popular cosmetics, health and beauty company, think again. There’s a lot of brainpower, hard work and patience that come along with that lipstick or eu de toilette you just bought.

This is the only time that I have to update my blog. I was supposed to rant and rave about my new job and my new work but I stumbled upon this article written by Bo Sanchez.

It’s about happiness and how we have this crazy propensity to complicate our lives and overlook the simple things that can make us happy.

This is a source of inspiration for me this week so I just need to share it.

_____________________________


HAPPINESS
Bo Sanchez

I'm in Tagaytay right now and life is glorious up here. I was able to borrow from a friend her pretty house that sits right on the ridge - with a porch overlooking the breathtaking Taal lake and Taal Volcano.

It's early morning and the view is majestic. I breathe this all in as I sit on a nice wooden chair, in front of a tiny table -- where my coffee cup rests. Not a styropor or plastic cup, mind you, But china. So that it makes nice "tinkling" sounds when you swirl your teaspoon around.

Actually, I'm not a coffee drinker. But the entire scene "demanded" that I drink one. While I do this, I read a good, fat book. Ahhhh Why is life sooooooooo good? Life is beautiful.

If there's one thing that defines me, it's this line: I know how to get a kick out of life. Enjoying life is my master skill. I'm able to squeeze every drop of joy and blessing from the simplest, most ordinary experiences of each day. (Even the most painful ones! But that's another story.)

Actually, I don't need the Taal lake to make me happy. I don't need the wooden chair or the tiny table or the coffee cup. I don't need the good, fat book. I just need to be me - and I'm happy with me! I actually like my company!

Some people are very "iffy" about their happiness. "If I get a new job, then I'll be happy" or "If I get married, then I'll be happy" or "If I get a car, then I'll be happy" or "If I'll buy a house, then I'll be happy."

They've got one rude awakening coming up real soon. Because the truth is, if they're not happy now, where they are, they won't be happy no matter what happens to them.

Some people create elaborate, complicated sometimes impossible rules to experience happiness in their lives. Like "Unless everyone loves me and accepts me, I'll never be happy" Pretty insane, right?

Some have other types of complicated rules to gaining happiness: "I will be happy only if I'll be able to buy a BMW, wear an Armani, a Rolex watch.."

Poor creatures!

Others are such demanding lovers that they're doomed to always be unhappy in their relationships. They say "I'll be happy only if my beloved will wait for me 24 hours a day, think of me always, serve me attentively, and eat, walk, talk, breathe for me."

God have mercy on their loved ones.

My conditions to experiencing happiness are pretty simple:

If I breathe normally, I'll be happy.. If I feel my heart pumping in my chest, I'll be happy. If the sun shines today, I'll be happy - even if the sun shines behind storm clouds! If I'm able to smile, I'll be happy. If I'll be able to love someone in whatever small way, I'll be happy. And most of all, if God loves me, I'll be really happy. (When doesn't He?)

Haven't you noticed? I cheat on life. Because I make my own rule to experiencing happiness and I make them so simple, they're stacked on my favor.

I have a suggestion for you. Examine your conditions for happiness now.
They may be too darn complicated, you'll never be happy in your life.

Too bad.

Because life is too beautiful to miss out.

Pabati

Belated happy birthday, Mira!

Sabi ko na birthday mo, eh. Alam ko magkakasunod ang birthday sa ABSi around August and September.

Sorry late ang greeting.

Huli man ang pabati, bumati pa rin.

Hahaha!

Random thoughts and feelings

1. Overall, grateful.

For the dream job that has been given to me, for the redundancy pay I will be getting on Monday (Yeeey! Will now buy my Fujitsu or Compaq notebook), for the Divine Intervention in my life.

2. Blessed. With really great and true friends. With The Boyfriend.
3. Happy. That I have a good life.
4. Pretty contented. Not totally angst-free but beyond some of them.
5. Empty. I miss you, Buddy. Terribly. Despite the recent fight, I do.
6. Moved. That the Buddy went the extra mile to make it up.
7. Scared. That I will not measure up. That I am going to enter a new industry.
8. Excited. With the new job, with the forthcoming discounts I will have on make-up and perfume as part of my employment perks (woohoo!).

By the way, watch the MTV Video Music Awards tonight. Read from Yahoo that Britney Spears and Madonna French kissed.

Woah.

Woah.

Still can't get over it.

Woah.

Losing some, winning some


I am taking a break from the marketing plan I am drafting for my Korean client. And what better way to spend it but to blog after several weeks!


The worst job of my life

August 11-15: one of the worst weeks of my life. After working so hard writing copy after copy of the print ads and presentations for my CEO, our pay check was delayed. Two weeks after being the Project Manager of my team, he also fired one of the web designers I am working with.

There was a big incident in the office when the web designer mass-mailed everyone new in the office, divulging how the company delayed people’s salaries and imposed unreasonable office policies. The CEO found out about this but didn’t address the issue.

Restless and very concerned, I had to respond to the email, copy furnished to everyone, demanding for a dialogue between management and the employees.

We were assured that our paycheck will not get delayed and that the employee was disgruntled – thus the poison email.

Talk is cheap.

The test was for them to deliver the promise.

Unfortunately, it was all lip service. We didn’t get our pay.

I resigned right then and there – something that I didn’t regret doing since other employees are still running after their paychecks up until now. And to no avail.

What I have to say about it: what goes around comes around, man. And in full circle, it does.

If I was as evil as I was a few years back, I could have written all my friends both in the advertising and IT industry to spread the word on their horrendous labor practice, their inability to deliver the promised services to clients due to bankruptcy and incompetence and the questionable character of the owners.

I’m not gonna do it just yet. But I will if they don’t pay up all the employees’ back wages.


The sweetest triumph as redemption

I was so angry when this happened, knowing that I worked so hard and did my best.

But redemption came a week after. My DREAM JOB called me. The HR said I was scheduled to meet with the CEO and the President.

The interview with the CEO was very cordial and friendly. The President was another story. He grilled me and made sure I was put to the test – what with the 7am appointment and a 3.5 hours interview with him in the office.

Afterwards, I had to run in the restroom to break down. I’ve never felt so stupid in my life up until that time. I also felt that my integrity was being questioned, what with the bombardment of questions pertaining to my professionalism and values.

In fairness, he was an upright and intelligent man. The questions were reasonable but very hard-hitting. I had to really prove myself.

After the interview, I was so frustrated and almost sure that I didn’t make it – after what I’ve been through during the application process (6-7 stages!).

Two days after, I got another phone call from HR, asking me when I can report for work. I have an appointment with the HR director and the CEO tomorrow to discuss my package, terms and the date I can start working.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-LLELUJAH!

True enough, the Powers That Be made this triumph a lot sweeter for me. I really hope this is it.

Top 10 things/people/situations that make me wanna light a stick

10. Coffee. Brewed coffee.

9. Free Mild Seven from Josh during planning sessions. Josh, stay away from me! Please keep those packs away.

8. Drinking sessions in general. It's hard not to smoke while drinking.

7. Get-together with AS friends. Sila ang may sala kung bakit natuto pa kong manigarilyo at tumambay ng 4-5 oras sa AS lobby.

6. Birthday parties with high school friends. Mga alcoholic, yosihero at yosihera.

5. Thinking of the uncertainties in life.

4. Getting stressed out in school.

3. Getting stressed out at work.

2. The Bestfriend. Waxing philosophical with him, planning our Asian trip, getting pissed off and angsty about our jobs, our partners, life in general.

1. The Buddy. When we are on the phone for 6-8 hours. When we bicker and argue and bicker at each other. When he is being himself - proud, arrogant and chauvinist.

Looking at top reasons 1 and 2, I realized: Sabi na nga ba papatayin ako ng mga lalake sa buhay ko eh.

But then again...

The only reason why I quit smoking

The Boyfriend.

It's not my health. Not the stench of my hair and clothes.

Mushy-gooey but hey - I want to spend a much longer time with him. Plus I was given an ultimatum. Hahaha!

Of managers and leaders

It's true. Some people are not meant to be managers. I don't know why length of service alone could justify a promotion. If you are a good web designer and have been in the company for more than 2 years or so, it is not a good enough reason to be promoted to a supervisory or managerial position. Not everyone was meant to oversee people.


Yosi kadiri

7 days. Nope - not the Craig David song. After my drinking stint last Thursday at ABSCBN for Dan's birthday celeb, I just decided that the Marlboro lights fliptop pack that I consumed that night would be the last one. I haven't had a fix for 7 days. And damn! Am I proud of myself!

It helps that none (READ: NONE!) of my officemates now are smoking. Not even the guy webbies. My boss, coming from the stressful world of advertising, quit a few years back when the wife got pregnant.

Did I mention that I have to wait for 3 minutes on the average to ride the elevator going up or down our office? That's another factor.


Underrated

No. I am not seeing The Buddy.

And by seeing, I mean dating.

It's funny how some people who barely even know me can judge what I can or cannot do. So they're now blessed with clairvoyance to actually predict what I am going to do next?

Sorry for the disappointment but we are definitely friends. I have very close affinity and attachment to him but it will not go beyond that. If I am still in denial? No. I actually acknowledged how I felt.

What we have is something more valuable than a one-time good-time deal.

So whoever told who that I'm seeing him secretly, it's no secret. It's out in the open.

Mamatay ka sa inggit.

Catwalking in the rat race

Yesterday marked the first day in my new job. I am now gainfully (?) employed by a start-up company (not again!?!?!).

The office is located right smack in Makati's CBD. For two days now, I have been lunching with The Boyfriend at the LKG Tower along with other yuppies.
Sadly, I think I have been swallowed by the system already. I look like them, dress like them. Armed with my mobile phone, PDA and file folders, I attend power lunches with clients. Though I can't discern where's the power in that - depriving myself of that strictly-1-hour quality time where I shouldn't be thinking about work.

Makati is just congested with a lot of rodents who start swarming in at 8 in the morning. It's sickening.

Oh well. Welcome to their wonderful world.

Making it big

Six years of work. Six different companies including my consultancies. 3 years as the maximum gestation period in an organization.

I would like to think there is more to work. More to this.

Whether I am going to stay for the long haul with my current company remains to be seen. It's a startup with potential - but so with the other ones.

My moves right now are bordering on pragmatism. My jobs pay my rent. It would help me buy the Fujitsu Lifebook I've been eyeing for more than 2 weeks now. They would take me to Bangkok and Singapore in September.

That's all there is to it.

At this point, I am still short-sighted with employment opportunities. What with the worsening economy of the country and the Magdalo rebellion of 2 weeks ago, all I can see is a bleak future.

How can I be fucking bullish about anything?

If my idealism is dead? Let's just say I agree with Yoj. So much for college daydreaming.

Deal with it

My skin is mocha brown.
I will never be caught dead with skin whitening paraphernalia.
I like my hair long and black.

I like wearing tank tops.
Round-necked shirts never fit me to a T.
My colors are always bright.
I look boring in white.
[Gross – that rhymed!]

I love wearing make-up.
I never leave home without my lash curler, concealer and lipstick.
Natural beauty is not true in my case.

I’m not a Gap babe.
I’m a Guess chick.
Gap = Big sizes, muted colors.
Not me.

I walk around in my platforms.
Almost all my shoes have 3-inch heels.
I can walk around wearing them all day long.
That is definitely an acquired skill!

I don’t wear khaki pants.
My pants are black, my denims are usually dark blue.
I like them hip-snugging or low-rise.
Flared and boot cut.

I am a guru at gay speak.
And I love gay men.
Have a lot of gay friends.
Definitely not homophobic.

I don’t intend to change these.
Maybe I would for myself.
But not to please others.
Definitely not to please thee.

I’m not even asking you to change your preference.
But please, don’t go changing me.

Back in the game!

I am sooo back and in my element once again.

After 2 weeks of emotional roller coaster, I finally got nauseous. Actually, I got so sick of myself being too sappy, crying over the most trivial things. It was becoming too icky so I managed to rescue myself just in time.

Those 2 weeks were very miserable. I missed my team, I was adjusting to my new apartment, I was doing all the household chores, I was adjusting to my new schedule, new office and new officemates. Add to that the anxiety of The Buddy issue. I felt overwhelmed. Everything was just too much.

So I allowed myself to succumb to depression. I would wake up at around 11, watch MTV or cartoons then ransack my food bin at past 12. I would stare blankly in front of my TV set or cry over Ally Mc Beal (which I used to hate) or any sentimental music I hear. I would go to work at around 2pm. After work, the team goes to El Pueblo for a night cap. As for me, I'd watch TV until I fall asleep. By that time, its already 3am.

I know. Spell pathetic for me.

So there. Since I'm really not the sulking type, my depression made me feel more depressed.

Yesterday, I realized that nothing is going to happen if I stretch this any further. I made peace with myself and decided to go on living.

I will get the hang of my new work, new team. The Web will always be my friends. As for The Buddy - if we are friends, we will get through this and just laugh at what happened - 10-20 years from now. If we don't make it through this time, then I guess I have to admit that it was just something superficial. I still have an army of friends.

As for my house - why the hell am I complaining? I love it. It's my own. MINE!

Friends were there to tide me over the crisis. I can never thank them enough. They were right. Life is too short. I shouldn't worry my life away. I've worked so hard to be a straight A student and now that I am almost graduating, it is a blatant self-deprecation for me to throw everything away.

Thank you, tita Sylvia and Eric - my 2 very generous classmates and school buddies. You have both been wonderful.

Thank you, Tran. I thought of you when all this was happening. Someday, I will have the kind of maturity you have to fend off distractions.

Thank you, Mica, V and Carissa. For not judging me. For giving me strength. For believing that I will get through this. For making me feel it's okay to admit it.

Thank you, Celiah. For making me feel I am not alone in the battle.

Thanks to the Best Friend. For not failing me. Ever.

Thank you, Mom - for keeping the faith.

Thank you, Ariel - for the promise of catching me when I fall. For making me believe in true love.

Thank God, for friends. For all of this.

Of geeks and nerds

Oh my gosh. I had a startling realization this afternoon.

I have a penchant for geeks and nerds.

Come to think of it, The Buddy is a geek - sans the ka-conohan, racing cars and signature clothes - he is a total geekazoid!

This is the first time I accessed Bangus' blog again because it had been down for a long time. I found it so cute and adorable that he is in law school right now and living in a chapel at that!

One of my college crushes - Judel - is a BS Applied Physics major. I pretended not to have any friggin' clue about the big bang theory in NatSci 1 so he could tutor me and we could hang out in the UP main library! I knew that if I asked him out for no reason he wouldn't have the nerve to go with me.

Asan na kaya yun ngayon? The last time I saw him was in Malacanang. He looked so cute in his crisp barong with his black-rimmed glasses. We first met when we were in high school - competing in those oratorical and extemporaneous speaking contests. Too bad he didn't keep in touch.

What's up with the geeks and nerds? Why do I find them attractive?

I think they are so underrated. I think girls who want to have decent and meaningful conversations on their first date should go out with them. I always marvel at how smart they are, being able to talk about anything and everything under the sun. Plus you get loadsa tips about techie gadgets which I am personally into.

If only other women would be able to discover this untapped resource! Hahaha.

Why do I like them? Siguro nga kasi nerd at geek din ako.

Knowing what we want

How could you want something so bad and just eventually give it away?

You don't really know what you want.

Now that you're leaving you just want to give him up.

I can't blame you, though. I thought I knew what I wanted, too.

The Buddy and SARS

The Buddy flew in last Sunday. He's going to be here in Manila until August or September, again, depending on his whims.

We had dinner and spent some time together last Monday. The morning after that, I had a slight fever. Knowing that he had a stopover in Taipei, I immediately called him to check if he feels well, if he doesn't have fever and cough.

Yes, he was fine.

Whew.

At 3:00am on Wednesday, however, I got a text message from him informing me that he has a cough. As paranoid as I am about SARS, I panicked and rang his mobile.

I told him to stay home and get enough rest.

Damn - I really feel like stangling him right now. Despite the warnings from his dad and mom not to fly through China Airlines, he still did. I also advised him to stay home for a while.

Kuripot kasi - tinipid pa ang $300.

He has 5 more days before he can be declared SARS-free. We spoke this morning and he said he was feeling better.

Again, I was relieved.

Anyways, welcome home, Buddy. Cheers to more gigs together.

I just hope he feels better before the Formula One gig in National Sports Grill.



Take me there, I wanna go there

Now that my schedule is pretty much flexible, I am toying with the idea of going to Indonesia and Singapore next week. I'll tag along with some girlfriends, or even Celiah, who work there.

Right now, I just want to breathe and get away from it all.

On the other hand, The Buddy is more inclined to take a few days off in Bangkok. He said he can get us a $265 trip.

Hmmmm... sounds very enticing.

Let's see who else we can brainwash to go with us.

In the meantime, I am daydreaming of a grand holiday in the middle of work. I think we should check out the red light district in Phat Pong.

Now that would be very interesting!

Kindred Spirits

Celiah and I haven’t seen each other for quite some time now. We were both busy with our own lives.

This morning, she managed to catch me in my pad and we had a long conversation – about her 2-year relationship, work, plans, etc.

As for me, I only told her The Dilemma. She is one of my very few trusted friends who I can tell anything and everything and would not castigate me for it.

She was surprised that the issue dragged. She never knew me as someone who would let a problem stretch for a long period of time. But she understood that it really takes a lot of effort to keep a friendship after you have somehow blurred some boundaries. Add to this the long denial stage that I managed to get myself into.

I was more surprised that while I was going through it, she was experiencing the same thing – questioning her comfort zone, asking what lies ahead, and if we ever believe in destiny versus carving our own paths. We are both in happy and contented relationships, yet we also both wonder if what we have right now are for keeps. We both have happy, comfortable lives, yet we both question whether we can sustain them and for how long.

Yes, we are on the same boat again.

It’s funny how our stages in life would always be similar to each other. We underwent the same stormy relationships and complicated career shifts at the same time.

A phone conversation was not enough to discuss and deconstruct everything that is happening. We agreed to meet for dinner tomorrow night. There is a lot of catching up to do.

At this time of my life when everything is changing and happening so fast, it’s good to have found my way back to Celiah and know what’s her take on things.

As we ended the conversation, I felt a lot better. I’ve found my soul sister again.

An awakening

Take me to another place
Take me to another land
Let me forget all that hurts me
Let me understand your plan.

- Tennessee
by Arrested Development


Thank yous

I’m very touched by the gesture of friends who swamped my email of job vacancies. Maraming salamat talaga.


Windang moments

I’m having a hard time adjusting to my new schedule right now. I start work at 1pm until late evenings. It really takes a lot of discipline to organize my schedule since I got used to a programmed schedule and a routine of some sort. And since I am working on several projects, I sometimes catch myself on panic mode.

Hindi ko na alam kung ano uunahin ko!

Not that I’m complaining. Baka ma-karma ako at bawian ng rackets ni God! Hahahaha!

I just need to adjust. I think I need to talk to Abi for some tips.

Now that I thought of Abi – miss ko na ang Web. I don’t have a Liza anymore who comes to my rescue. Huhuhu.

Released

Last week, the position I was handling in my company was considered redundant. To cut the long story short, they gave me my redundancy package and I got a hefty separation pay that can last me until December.

Since I was prepared for what was coming, I made my contingencies. I’m currently working on a marketing project. I was hired by another start-up as a consultant to help them draft their marketing plan. The pay is actually quite good – a lot higher than what I was getting and I only have to work for 4 days!

Good, huh?

But knowing that this isn’t stable, I am also working on getting a full-time job somewhere. So friends, do fill me in if there are job vacancies out there for me. ;-)

I felt relieved in a way. Now I have the luxury of time and enough money to be able to look for THE JOB that will put more meaning in my life, where profit is not the only concern and where reaching out to others is the priority.

I also felt sad because I left a family. It was the best team I ever had and I had the chance to be with the best team lead and mentor anyone could wish for.

Well anyways…

The industry is very small. The possibility for everyone to work again is not really far-fetched. And I am so looking forward to that.




Let’s not go there…

Where we could hurt those who care about us
and those who truly love us.

Let’s not go there,
Where I won’t be willing to see you off
Or bid you goodbye.

Let’s not go to that place where
We would compromise our growth and our dreams
Since we didn’t build them together.

Let’s not go there,
Where we could end up hurting each other.

Let’s just stay here.
Let’s just stay where we are right now.

Another week...

... of stress at work.

It's stress multiplied by 3.

I wonder how much more I can take.

Note to self: Think positive.

Thought bubble: Even if you don't like what's happening around you and you know things are not okay?

Of all people...

... na paghahanapin mo ng date para sa 'yo - sa akin ka pa lumapit.

Ang cute mo!

And of all the times...

na magpapahanap ka ng date, you ask while we are talking about you being conscious whenever you are with me because I look at you all the time.

You said you feel like I am staring right at your whole being - making you feel stripped naked and vulnerable.

Saan mo ko gustong tumingin habang kausap kita? Sa kisame?

Anong gusto mong sabihin ko sa 'yo ngayon?

Magkaibigan ba talaga tayo? Why do you keep on flirting and sending out innuendos?

Puro ka double-meaning tapos biglang kabig.

Galing mo talaga, dude.

Hybrid of the past and the present

Last night, I dreamt of my former CEO. He called for a meeting with the team leads and I was part of the meeting.

He asked us to sit on the floor and announced that he needs to retrench people.

I don't exactly know what that means, but the mood was very light and people were happy despite the announcement.

And how the hell did Carlo figure in my dream?

Funny-weird, huh?

My own home sweet home

Now I’m spilling the beans.

Last Sunday, I officially moved into my studio.

Yep, I’m renting a studio-type condo unit in the Pasong Tamo area.

I have been planning about this since December of last year. Come April, I was already getting depressed thinking about how I wanted my own place but haven’t done anything to kick the plan off.

By May, I was already spending my weekends looking for apartments and condominiums. Alongside that, I was looking for a second job – a racket at that – which will augment my income, pay my rent and support my lifestyle when combined with my day job.

I guess Paulo Coelho was right when he wrote The Alchemist – if you want to achieve something badly, all of the universe will conspire in your favor.

Luckily for me, the universe did.

So last week, I bought all my furniture and appliances. The whole weekend was spent waiting for their delivery, packing and cleaning.

By Sunday, the studio looked like a home. My own.

I feel so fulfilled. I have a lot more stuff to buy though. So friends, my motif is Zen. Most of my furniture is light-colored wood. Zen furnishings and trinkets are most welcome. Hehehe.