Perfectly said

"Silence does not always mean yes. It may also mean no but it’s better left unsaid. Anger does not always mean hatred. It could just be a means of coping. Laughter does not always mean happiness, sometimes it’s just a mask. Tears does not always mean sorrow, it may also be an outlet of joy. Staying away does not always mean it’s the end, it may also mean the best beginning. And life, though is so complex, it’s always beautiful."

YOLO

You only live once. 

For some, they may take it as maximizing whatever life has to offer, to the point of being reckless. 

Admittedly, I may have subscribed to the same mantra when I was younger. 

Come to think of it, I may actually have been the classic case of a devil-may-care, risque' person a few years back. 

I partied so hard that my friends and I can shame younger people because we can stay up in Prive' until almost five in the morning and head out to Recovery Food or the nearest Chinese restaurant for breakfast until 7. 

I have a record of out-drinking several of my guy friends who were twice my size. My biggest record so far is out-drinking my husband who happens to be well-trained in downing whiskey like there's no tomorrow. 

Drunk driving? Guilty. I scratched my car not once, not twice, because I was intoxicated but I had to drive myself home.

Overspeeding ba kamo? I was the queen of overspeeding in EDSA when I had one too many to drink.

No, I'm not proud of it. In fact, I don't want my daughter to even know. 

On a lighter note, I'm quite adventurous as well with things I want to do. I took on surfing, I love heights and sky diving is still in my bucket list. Wanderlust is very natural to me. 

I was also risque' in romance and relationships. Trauma is not in my vocabulary. No matter how many heartaches I went through, I took the blow, yes, but I always dusted myself up and tried again. 

Looking back, I was one of the poster children of YOLO. 

Am I as rogue as I was when I was younger? 

Not quite. Somehow, I managed to tame myself and behave. Things are not what they used to be. 

The mantra still holds true for me, though. 

You only live once. 

Therefore: 

Try to make the best of everyday. Make a dent - big or small. 

You only live once. 

So live everyday like there is no tomorrow. Call your parents. Say I love you to people you care about. Do everyday things with your purpose in mind. 

You only live once. 

Do things with this at the heart: Integrity. 

Integrity is the cornerstone of a person's truth. It's one of the virtues that makes us try to do things right, at least most of the time.

This is a realization that will come in every person's life, eventually. As some of the wiser people ahead of us would say, it is one of the virtues you will stumble upon and learn to value once you "see the light." 

I'm glad I did. 

 YOLO.

Yes, I still subscribe to the mantra, but hopefully, with more substance this time around.
 

When it rains, it's Four

This whole week's totally for the books. 

1. New mandate. 

2. New scope. 

3. New role expansion. 

4. Another team folded under me. 

Ako na. 

Ako na talaga.  

Ako na talaga ang nagmamaganda. 

I don't know if I'm punching above my weight here, but my new scope is gargantuan. Admittedly, I asked for a scope expansion but I was happy to just add another stream under my belt. But NOOOOO. Kailangan ba talaga dalawang buong department? 

Seriously. 

But as usual, I'm happy to take on the challenge. I just said yes. 

I'm excited. But I'm also scared. 

Gulp.

After declaring to the Universe that this year, balance is primordial to me, this is what I get.

Okay payn. Andito na, eh. 

Lezdodiz!  

(So help me God.)

Saying goodbye to people

It's a sad day. 

A young colleague passed away today. He succumbed to cancer just an hour ago. 

When I saw the posts on Facebook in December that he was in the middle of the battle, I found myself silently praying for his recovery. While alone in my car, while walking the hallways of the office, I muttered short prayers to myself for his healing. 

We're not even close. When I was still in Indonesia, I was surprised that he added me on Facebook. I just added him because I saw that we had a closely-knit social network. 

Until I came back to Manila and to my company. We became teammates. We were on a hi-hello chica basis, but he always had a positive aura. He was a good young man. Faithful, God-loving.

He was a pioneer in the blogging space, introducing video blogs in the Philippines. 

Ang gaan niya katrabaho. 

I was silently praying that he wins this battle. I told God we needed good people like him around, to rub off more goodness and faith unto others. 

I guess God had other plans. 

I don't know why I'm greatly affected when we're not even close friends. 

Truth be told, I'm on the verge of tears while writing this blog entry. 

Nasasayangan ako sa isang mabuting tao. 

Admittedly, he fought the great fight.

Coy, you will be missed. Thank you for the courage, for the inspiration, for your contribution to social media. 

May you rest in peace.

When God sends his army of angels

I'm living proof.

When you need help, God will send his army of angels for support. 

I've been very fortunate to come across people who also talk and walk the faith. They're making this entire journey easier for me. 

I've got tons of things to do and organize and every step of the way, I meet people who can either help me with what I need or point me to someone who can. 

It's really all in His time. 

=) 

When anger and hate come knocking on my door

In a moment when anger is justified, let me have compassion and empathy instead. I may not be able to change what is inside another person's heart, but change mine.

And amidst a frenzy when I want to pull my hair out because things are not going according to plan, remind me of my mantra that works all the time: 

Grace under pressure, my love. Grace under pressure. 

Bawal ang ubos-ganda moves. 

Crossroad, yet again

Crossroads have a way of teaching you life's important lessons. 

At least in my case, it's one of the most important stages where the Universe compels me to take action. 

So here I am again, at yet another crossroad in my career. It's a good one, though. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be given so many choices and opportunities. I'm not even deliberately looking, but the opportunities just come knocking. 

How can I not be grateful? 

If I go for one career opportunity, I will go back to the lion's den once again. I will again leave my family behind to explore opportunities. 

This time, though, I am not alone anymore. 

But if I don't go, I feel like I'm starting to become complacent already. 
Complacency has never been in my vocabulary. So has it permeated my life as of late?  I refuse to believe so. 

I'm struggling to make a decision. Normally, I stall when this happens. So many things to consider, not enough time. 

I'm asking the Universe to again conspire in my favor for me to be enlightened and to make the right decision - for me and for everyone I love.

Have A Little Faith - or even more of it

As baduy as it may sound, I formed a book club in the office with some friends who shared the same interest --- since we borrow each other's books and libraries, anyway. 

I just finished reading Mitch Albom's Have A Little Faith yesterday and it's such a timely read as I have rediscovered my faith through The Feast. At the same time, I have a very recent experience of being asked to convert into another religion.

I've been wanting to write about my faith for almost a month now. Admittedly, it's one aspect of my life that I rarely talk about. 

Truth be told, you will never know the importance of your faith until you are asked to relinquish it or believe in something else. I grew up in a Christian country where everyone I knew was Catholic. When I was growing up, it was normal to be Catholic. Until I left for Indonesia and did several projects in Malaysia.  Both countries are predominantly Muslim. 

Whilst I am Catholic, by baptism and by choice, I was raised to be religion-tolerant. For my Mom and my family, it is not about religion but how steadfast your faith is.  At the same time, whilst I am comfortable and confident about my faith and my God, I never even imagined that I will one day be asked to convert to another religion to be with someone. 

I don't believe in converting into another structure of faith because it is the law of one country. Or because I have to follow the man's religion because I am a woman. The second reason --- yes, I definitely threw a fit. Conversion should be done from the depths of your heart. Because you started believing in something that you never used to. 

Tears were welling up in my eyes by just the thought that I cannot believe in my Christ anymore. Although I am church-going, I'm not exactly what you'd call the ideal Catholic. Thus, my surprise with the impact of  what's being asked from me. 

I cannot stop believing in my Christ. My faith is the one I held on to in the darkest hours of my life. I believed in my salvation because I believed in Christ. 

And so it is. It is true. You will never know the importance of your faith until you are asked to give it up. 

Mitch Albom, the Reb. They're both right. Different faiths can walk side by side. 

And that is what we decided to do. We both believe in God.  We just have different religions. 

While Skye will allow me to go to my church still, I will honor his fasting month and make sure he eats before the sun rises. I will make sure there is food on the table upon buka puasa.We will raise our children to be religion-tolerant but at the same time to have faith and believe in God. 

Faith. Faiths can walk side by side. May he and I be the testament to that.