YOLO

You only live once. 

For some, they may take it as maximizing whatever life has to offer, to the point of being reckless. 

Admittedly, I may have subscribed to the same mantra when I was younger. 

Come to think of it, I may actually have been the classic case of a devil-may-care, risque' person a few years back. 

I partied so hard that my friends and I can shame younger people because we can stay up in Prive' until almost five in the morning and head out to Recovery Food or the nearest Chinese restaurant for breakfast until 7. 

I have a record of out-drinking several of my guy friends who were twice my size. My biggest record so far is out-drinking my husband who happens to be well-trained in downing whiskey like there's no tomorrow. 

Drunk driving? Guilty. I scratched my car not once, not twice, because I was intoxicated but I had to drive myself home.

Overspeeding ba kamo? I was the queen of overspeeding in EDSA when I had one too many to drink.

No, I'm not proud of it. In fact, I don't want my daughter to even know. 

On a lighter note, I'm quite adventurous as well with things I want to do. I took on surfing, I love heights and sky diving is still in my bucket list. Wanderlust is very natural to me. 

I was also risque' in romance and relationships. Trauma is not in my vocabulary. No matter how many heartaches I went through, I took the blow, yes, but I always dusted myself up and tried again. 

Looking back, I was one of the poster children of YOLO. 

Am I as rogue as I was when I was younger? 

Not quite. Somehow, I managed to tame myself and behave. Things are not what they used to be. 

The mantra still holds true for me, though. 

You only live once. 

Therefore: 

Try to make the best of everyday. Make a dent - big or small. 

You only live once. 

So live everyday like there is no tomorrow. Call your parents. Say I love you to people you care about. Do everyday things with your purpose in mind. 

You only live once. 

Do things with this at the heart: Integrity. 

Integrity is the cornerstone of a person's truth. It's one of the virtues that makes us try to do things right, at least most of the time.

This is a realization that will come in every person's life, eventually. As some of the wiser people ahead of us would say, it is one of the virtues you will stumble upon and learn to value once you "see the light." 

I'm glad I did. 

 YOLO.

Yes, I still subscribe to the mantra, but hopefully, with more substance this time around.
 

Happy birthday, Skye!

Your sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek sense of humor really got to me, at a time and place when only few got the drift.  I remember being the only one who laughs at your jokes in conference rooms when you were still pitching and presenting to me.

I have come to love you because you are both funny and witty. At the same time, you are head-on serious when you set goals in life. You are sincere, loyal and you are such a great friend. Your friends can definitely attest to that.

You have a good and kind heart, despite the sarcasm. You have the virtues that I lack, which makes you perfect for me.

Today, I am reminded that I married a great guy.

Happy, happy birthday, Skye.

Looking forward to coming home to KL together tonight. And cheers to more blessed years ahead of you. 

On taking the high road

Why self-reflection is needed every now and then: Sometimes we see the speck of dust on someone else's face without seeing our own. We demand respect from others when we don't know how to give it. We ask people to be gentle but we cannot control our own temper. We implore others to be humble but we do not go down on our own high horses.

Love begets love. Respect begets respect. These transcend the boundaries of age and manners.

Self reflection means doing it first to others before expecting others to do it unto us.

The high road to this is doing it first, without expecting others to do the same, and forgiving others when they ever forget.

Today, I'm choosing the high road.

Life's simple blessings should not be taken for granted

...because the simple graces that we tend to overlook are actually the best ones. 

I love my quiet mornings, just like what I am having right now. I know I can never reclaim my quiet mornings once Abby really moves in with us and if we ever have one child of our own.

I love the smell of my Cambodian hazelnut coffee and the sound of my sputtering coffee maker. 

Mix that with the smell of my vanilla candles and incense. TOTAL BLISS. 


I love that I can call back home to check on my Mom and just talk to her.

I love that I can choose to be lazy on a Saturday morning, tucked in between my soft, lavander-smelling sheets or I can decide to put on my kicks and hit the gym. 

Today, I have a TON of work for our wedding preps, but I chose to be zen for a little while longer this morning. It's a simple reward for being efficient and productive yesterday. 

Before I hit my Excel sheets and style guides again, I wanted to be silent, to write and to be grateful for this morning. 

Time and silence are both gifts we take for granted. 

I'm grateful to have them this morning. 

Thank you. 
 

Of airports and planes

I think I've blogged about it already before, but the way I feel about airports remains the same. 

I feel melancholic whenever I'm in airports. 

It means a state of transition and change for me. 

Although I'm always excited of changes, I also feel sad about leaving. 

I had a great time in Malaysia this time around --- probably one of the best trips that I've ever taken in the country.

Things around here are not new to me anymore. What made it great are the people in here who welcomed me back with open arms. 

And Skye --- who always has my best interest at the forefront. 

Blessed and grateful, as always. 

=) 

A few hours and I'm back in Manila! I can't wait to start running our wedding errands! 

Day 1 of 2014

New Year's Eve was spent at the Mandarin Oriental beside KLCC Tower so we can witness the fireworks up close. 

It was a quiet celebration --- cocktails, buffet dinner, fireworks display and a champagne toast by midnight with Skye's family. 

Today, Skye and I had dimsum for lunch, ran errands, bought his 3rd pair of Onitsuka shoes as my New Year's gift and bought his clothes to be brought back to Manila. 

We had a long nap in the afternoon, woken up by his Dad for a taco feast dinner. 

The entire night was spent at home, planning our wedding and ironing out more details together. 

Definitely a good start for day 1. 

Moving up and moving forward, 2014! 

Last Friday of 2014

Today is the last Friday of 2014. 

My morning was spent with my Yayay Cita packing for my Malaysia trip tomorrow. I am so helpless without her. 

This afternoon, I went to the office to complete some of my paperwork and presentation deck. I'm not planning to bring my lappy so better do everything TODAY! 

It's  been very quiet in the office --- as in reeeaaaally quiet. I'm not used to it. 

At any rate, despite the lack of thorough review of what I've done this year and how I fared in my bucket list, I actually think I did quite well. 

God has been very generous. I have been very blessed. 

Off to more paperwork before I finally enjoy my holiday break. 

RnR. Finally!!!

Christmas morning

Christmas mornings are THE BEST!!!

I can wake up late. 

I wake up with my entire family in the house. As soon as I enter the living room, I smell the waft of piping hot chocolate and Mom's classic spaghetti meat sauce being warmed on the kitchen stove. 

The entire house is just really crazy - Abbygale shouting, playing and running around, conversations among the oldies - my Mom, my Dad and Yayay Cita. 

One word to describe everything: BLISS. 

The holiday season used to make me sad. 

Not anymore. 

I have no reason to be. 

JC has blessed me so much. There's just so many things to be thankful for. 

My family. Skye. My friends. My career. Everything in my life just fits all perfectly for me. 

Today, it's JC's birthday. Ironically, He's the one who gave me a plenitude of gifts. 

Christmas. 

I now love Christmas. =) 

Loooooong albeit pleasant Sunday

It's past 1am but my day just ended. I'm ending it with a glass of wine (or two) while reading my last book for the year. 

Today is epic. 

It's been a looooooong day of errands in preparation for Christmas.

Whatta Sunday! 

It is a blessed one, though. Amidst the frenzy was a good quality time with la familia. 

Family trumps all else. 

I'm definitely loving this season. =) 

Living life. I mean really living it.

I cannot live without my to-do list. As in my previous entry, it's part of my OCD. I get disoriented if I don't have a tangible list as reference of what I need to do. 

And whenever I don't accomplish as much in my list, I get really frustrated and annoyed at myself. I know. Throw me in the loony bin. 

This morning, my 10-12 meeting was moved to next week. As I was clamoring for my to-do list again, I realized I was missing out on my social obligations. Even that is on my list. 

Phone calls for best friends. Birthday greetings. Scheduling lunches and dinners for the long weekend. 

In the midst of my Facebook greetings and phone calls for friends, I realized how I can just lose my humanity running after my work targets and the long list I have on my Evernote. 

Despite my claim that it's my OCD in full effect that I have to put everything in my to-do list, I felt that I'm dehumanizing the aspect of my personal and social life by just relegating them as items to check on a list. I even have a Project Social label on it.

Fock. When did I ever get so rigid and ever-so structured that I run after accomplishing my list but missing out on the happiness that it brings me to talk to the people who really matter? 

I don't think I can get rid of my list. It will throw me off the wall. But today, I decided to enjoy the process. Tick off the check boxes but enjoy every moment. Every conversation. Every accomplishment. 

Today, I will just be. =) 

  

Crossroad, yet again

Crossroads have a way of teaching you life's important lessons. 

At least in my case, it's one of the most important stages where the Universe compels me to take action. 

So here I am again, at yet another crossroad in my career. It's a good one, though. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be given so many choices and opportunities. I'm not even deliberately looking, but the opportunities just come knocking. 

How can I not be grateful? 

If I go for one career opportunity, I will go back to the lion's den once again. I will again leave my family behind to explore opportunities. 

This time, though, I am not alone anymore. 

But if I don't go, I feel like I'm starting to become complacent already. 
Complacency has never been in my vocabulary. So has it permeated my life as of late?  I refuse to believe so. 

I'm struggling to make a decision. Normally, I stall when this happens. So many things to consider, not enough time. 

I'm asking the Universe to again conspire in my favor for me to be enlightened and to make the right decision - for me and for everyone I love.

Of extended families

Today, I realized I missed one of my godfathers. Or the only godfather I had during my baptism. 

He used to be really tight with the family but something happened a few years ago that caused a falling out with my parents. 

I actually spent more time with him during my childhood than I did with my Dad.

Family fights. 

Very tricky. 

But then --- I guess it's up to me to fix it. 

Again. 

 

Today's FB post

In my X years of existence, I have never scraped my knee - until now. The abrasion's covering almost 50% of my entire left knee. I can't walk properly. I have to be assisted most of the time. Standing and sitting are both feats. It's clumsiness, irrationality and plain stupidity how in the world I got this injury. One thing I realized, though, is that 5 or 35, mother's reactions will always be the same. Protective. Nurturing. Caring.

Mom just charged the whole thing to a silly experience. But she dressed my wounds nonetheless - while I was screaming my head off on my pillow.

Thank God for a great Mom. Thanks for dressing my wounds through these years - metaphorical or otherwise.

On travel frenzy, getting the flu and the future in-laws

I've got barely an hour to go here at Starbucks, 1 Utama Mall at PJ before future mudra-in-law picks me up to head home. Yep, I've been left alone with her since breakfast this morning...but that's not where the story begins. 

Friday night last week, I was literally dragging myself to the airport along with my luggage en route to KL. Dang flu hit me hard on the exact day that I was flying out. Imagine achy joints, major backache, hard cough, fever and severe migraine all conveniently rolled into one. Yep - that was me when I flew out. 

I was on the verge of tears while in line at the immig feeling sorry for myself. Skye wanted me to defer my flight the following day, but Miss Kuripot didn't want to incur USD$250 for a one-way ticket from Manila to KL.  

So on I went to take my flight. Luckily, I was front row and a handsome flight attendant was there to assist me in all my needs. Well, that's the thing. I was at a near-delirium stage already that I cannot even appreciate the eye candy. Yes. It was that bad.

I passed out in the car when Skye picked me up at the airport. 

Saturday - I was a vegetable in bed but I had to force myself to eat meals with his parents as courtesy.  We were actually reprimanded for eating too late in the night for dinner. As mudra-in-law said, "makan time is makan time." That was again a reminder before we headed out yesterday. 

Segue' to today. When Skye left the house for work, he had to ask me to down for breakkie. "Hey, my Mom's nagging us to have breakfast. I'm packing mine. You have to eat yours." Okaaaaaaaaay. So obedient me, off I went. 

Organic breakfast - free-range egg, oats with organic cranberries, Ceylon tea. A quick conversation with the mudra. Not bad. 

We went to the mall together for lunch and grocery at the organic market. I had great organic soy curry laksa and some rice-veggies. 

And now here I am - sitting alone in Starbucks - enjoying some peace and quiet. 

I have not been forced to wake up and eat my breakfast for more than a decade now. I have been living independently, come to think of it, for more than 10 years already. 

Living in a house with very stringent house rules is weird for me. There's a place for wet and dry garbage, I can't eat in the bedroom (I drink wine and eat chips in mine) and the list goes on. 

Truth be told, I am terrorized by this new set of rules. Even Skye is terrorized by his own parents. Luckily, I am a fan of organic and vegetarian food! Unluckily, Skye is not!!! 

This entire KL trip as a prelude to our Beijing-Shanghai tour is a total frenzy! 

But as I sit quietly here, sitting and drinking my usual Starbucks cafe mocha (which by the way the mudra bought for me), I actually feel blessed and grateful. 

SERIOUSLY.  

First of all, I was introduced to the parents. 

Second, his parents are making sure we are comfortable. The house rules are there for a reason. They may be different with mine, but the rules are there to give order and structure in the house and to keep everyone safe and comfortable. 

Third, it's a quiet time that I get to spend with his mom - something that I never had in my past relationship. 

Fourth, new set of rules means new people in my life. A household extension --- an addition to the family so to speak. Both parents are very sincere and quite caring - forcing us to bring more than enough thermal wear, in case the weather gets weird and it snows in on us. 

Fifth, and most important of all, I'm grateful for my timely recovery. Imagine the horror and terror of being in Beijing at 4 degrees with a flu. It will be a so-near-yet-so-far experience of being almost at The Great Wall but never really reaching there.  

Some may not realize it, but health --- is the greatest equalizer of all. Rich or poor, it doesn't matter if you don't have great health. And yes, I'm grateful, too, for that timely reminder. 

Off we go to Beijing and Shanghai for the rest of the Holy Week. 

Safe travel for me and Skye. 

   

2013: Starting it right

Not sure if making resolutions whenever New Year comes about is already passe' for others. As for me, I stopped making resolutions in my 20s, not because I don't want to make improvements. 

We tend to break resolutions. And resolutions should not just be made whenever it's the first of January. Resolutions should be made the whole-year-round. 

I don't make New Year's resolutions because to me, everyday is a chance to make small improvements or life-changing decisions. Every day that we've got is a chance to make things better. To make life better. 

I must say I had a great 2012 - better than what I expected. And 2013 for me MUST be a continuation of better things to come. And I guess, that is mostly up to me - me and my faith that God has already carved out His great plan for me.

As far as resolutions are concerned, I intend to do better and to become greater this year. Not just for me, but for everyone whose lives I touch.  

This whole month of January is all about pruning, spring cleaning, detoxifying and shedding off all the excesses to prepare me to receive more blessings each day.
 
Here's to claiming 2013!  Cheers to greater, better, happier lives!

Grateful morning

Today, I woke up with a grateful heart.

I had a good sleep. I opened my eyes and woke up to a beautiful morning. I was locked in a wonderful embrace with the new love.

I have a crazy but loving family. I have loyal friends.

God gave me everything that I need. Even more.

Grateful. Just really grateful for everything.

Merry Christmas!

After gift-giving, slept in between my 2 loves who planked me so tightly there was not enough space for me! Woke up this morning with my Mom's cooking wafting through the air, my Dad's commanding voice, my Yaya bustling in the kitchen to help and messages from my one and only sissy. Aaah. Family. The best gift that God has given me. Thank you. I am ever blessed. Happy birthday, JC!

In moments of weakness and the comfort of reassurance

Quiet time after a week of chaos. 

La familia just left barely half an hour ago. I cherish Sundays because it's time spent with the family. I won't trade it for anything. 

And no matter how wasted I am from a Saturday night party, I will NEVER EVER skip church service and worship. It's 3 and a half hours, not normal for a Catholic service, but it bonded my family ever since I got back to Manila. I can't believe that my Dad will even religiously go - pardon the pun. 

Skye also just left for the airport. After hearing how miserable I was last Monday, he just decided to fly in for the weekend, although we agreed to spend my birthday late. 

Admittedly, we spent the entire Saturday sleeping in and recovering from exhaustion --- flights to and fro, partying, long days and nights in the office --- they took their toll on us both. We needed to peel ourselves out of bed since we had to pick J. up at the airport and go out for dinner-drinks.

I do feel guilty that I couldn't even get to pick him up at the airport. I arrived in my apartment 30 minutes before his plane landed - after celebrating a girlfriend's birthday and hanging out with the new gay circle. 

The weekend flew by --- just like that. I didn't even realize how Sunday just came and went. I guess that's really how it is when you feel happy and you're having so much fun. 

I went through a bout of depression just a few days ago. October is an emotionally loaded month for me. I honestly don't know how I will go through it --- because I look forward to it and I dread it at the same time. 

This weekend, I was comforted by my family's love and how Skye moved heaven and earth just to be here and reassure me.  

The emptiness and misery that I felt was replaced by so much love, care and concern from the people who matter and who made me matter in their lives. 

Life is too short to be spent miserably. Whilst October, for sure, will give me one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride (as it normally does --- and it never fails!!!), I will cherish every moment of it.  

That's how life is. It takes misery to appreciate simple joys and the gift of love. 

To my family - my Mom, Dad, Abby and ate Cita --- thank you for giving me the sense of purpose that I need. Thank you for your unconditional love that I sometimes take for granted. 

To Skye: thank you for your friendship. Thank you for taking the risk. Thank you for falling in love with me despite the awareness that it won't be easy. 

Notwithstanding the momentary plunge into a dark place, I know things will get better from here. 

I just need to remind myself in moments of weakness. 

It's been one hell of a great week, after all.

 

 

Staycation

Life in Manila --- yep, still adjusting to it. 

Welcome back to your life, April. 

The last 2 days of the long weekend was spent running around like a headless chicken. Errands here and there, meeting friends and being with family --- it never ends.

Yesterday, I had to be at the airport, attend my 3-hour worship with the family, buy Abby's materials for her homework, visit my best friend in Makati Med and make a dent in my reading materials.

CRAAAAAAAZYYYY.

I wanted some quiet ME time today, you know, finish reading Catching Fire in bed while sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows. I need my ME time to keep my sanity. 

BUT I decided that I'd rather go happily crazy spending the day with the family. The whole morning was spent cutting and pasting Abby's homework, stringing new kiddie bracelets for her and teaching her how to play Jenga (oooh, she has a knack for it).

The afternoon was spent at the Shangri-La Hotel for high tea to meet J and catch up again before he goes to the airport. I headed to the car wash after then rushed back to my apartment for the family dinner.  

Whew! 

It doesn't end there --- I have to help them pack up, drive them back then have my time in front of my lappy to do some pre-work for tomorrow. 

To think that I was supposed to meet suppliers today and re-stock on my inventory. 

More than 2 months back in here, but I gotta admit that I'm still getting the hang of things. 

I'm back in my life. Front and center. 

No matter how tiring it gets, I won't trade it in for anything else.   

Champagne life

And my champagne brunches have been replaced by Sunday worship, family lunch and family quality time.

From shopping galore to picking up Abby's playdate and watching over them while they swim in the pool. 

I am definitely blessed. 

Much as I miss my champagne brunches --- which I can still have, but on Saturdays --- my Jakarta routine has been replaced by spending time with my family. 

Not complaining. Definitely not complaining at all.