Missing the happy tree friends

May I just say...

...na sa stressful moments in the office, nakaka-miss ang old, happy friends from here.

Nakaka-miss ang maingay at nakakatawang si Cookie. Super nice and grounded girl. Pahingi ng kotse!

Nakaka-miss si Madz na minsan magulo kausap. Di niya kasi alam kung sinong April ba talaga ang kausap niya. Pero solidong kaibigan. If you need someone in the inner circle who can keep your deepest, darkest secrets - siya na 'yon.

Nakaka-miss si party boy Douglas. My former yosi-mate (good thing I quit already) and clubbing buddy.

And I so miss Tanie and Alain.

Si Tanie a.k.a. Tonya in my book, I still talk to every now and then. She lightens up my tiring day sa mga fantabulous chica niya about her career and karir.

Ang Alain - missing in action. Busy sa love life!

They added colors to the already wonderful hues of the office. Although I'm proud and happy of what they have become in terms of their careers, I miss talking to both of them.

Very honest to the bones - that's who they are. But very caring as well.

Sadness. Na-sad naman ako.

Susugurin ko na lang one of these days si Tonya in KL.

Sigh.

Loooooooong to-do list

It’s been like this for 4 weeks already. Ever since we all got back from the long holiday break, it’s been literally breathless in the office. Everything is just really frantic and all projects wanted to launch, uhm… yesterday?

Nakakapagod.

I was talking to Jay the other day and I actually told him, nakakapagod talaga to be over-productive, if there is such a thing.

Luckily, no matter how stressful things get, I don’t feel as drained since I’m seeing and getting the desired results.

Sobrang hirap lang talaga.

Well, thank God for the long to-do list. Buti nga meron pang to-do list, eh.

There were a lot of lay-offs everywhere, what with the economic milieu. I heard that some of the benched PMs in BPOs have been given the pink slips already.

Oh well.

Keep the to-dos coming in, yeah?

Kung Hei Fat Choi

R. and I spent Chinese New Year together for the first time.

For those in the know, the official status is what is at the present moment. For those still wondering, mahirap talagang ipaliwanag. Even I can’t explain so don’t ask me anymore since I can’t and won’t say anything concrete.

We attended Angie and Erwin’s wedding together last Sunday. I saw the naughty smirk on JT’s face when he saw us together holding hands.

JT and I had this bet that’s supposed to end in February. Unfortunately, I think I already lost it.

I told R. about it and his only reaction was, “Anong gusto mo, manalo ka o matalo ka sa pustahan?”

This is one of those very rare moments that it is so much better to lose the bet.

And win someone. =)

After the wedding reception, he and I went to Martinis to wind down. We went outside to watch Mandarin Oriental’s fireworks display.

AWESOME, to say the least.

It doesn’t really matter how the night was spent.

Masaya lang na magkasama kami.

Masaya ako na kasama ko siya.

Kung hanggang kailan until the next melodramatic episode, hindi ko rin alam.

Or should I even be anticipating the next one when it’s so much better to just take things as they come?

Sabi nga ni Yoj, before, they were telling me to end it. Pero mahirap talagang tuldukan ang isang bagay na alam mong hindi pa tapos.

Lalo na kung siya.

What’s going to happen after this, bahala na si Batman.

Bahala na siguro kami.

We’re just both so glad that the year of the rat is finally OVER.

Let’s hope this year gets better. A hell lot better.

Happy Chinese New Year, friends!

Kabog ng dibdib

Pagdating sa career at karir, hindi talaga puwedeng kalahati lamang ng pagkatao ang nakalaan.

Ewan ko, pero kung sa akin lang, hindi ko kaya na hindi ibigay ang lahat pagdating sa trabaho at pag-ibig. Kailangan buong puso at kaluluwa ang itinataya.

Kahapon, meron na naman akong BIG THING.

Sa sobrang tensyon sa paghihintay at paghahanda, nilagyan ko pa ng sweetener ang matamis na talagang café mocha.

Good luck – parang magkakaroon ako ng instant diabetes sa tamis ng kape. At huwag ka, umorder ako ng dalawang café mocha. Eh di lalong dumagundong ang dibdib ko sa nerbyos.

Para na ring gusto kong bigyan ang sarili ko ng atake de corazon.

Masaya. Mabuti at magaling ang resulta ng aking paghihintay at pagpupuyat.

Hindi talaga ako pwedeng half-baked. Nakukuha ko lang ang gusto ko kapag buo ang puso at isipan sa pagbibigay.

Never settle for mediocrity talaga.

So tama ako all along.

Sobrang ang kabog ng dibdib ko.

Pero sa naging resulta, sulit ang lahat.

Masaya ang pagbubukas ng weekend.

When you know you deserve it – ask.

Off to better and happier topics…

When I am not busy social climbing and trying to find a rich husband who will feed and clothe me for the rest of my life, I’m actually one of the lucky few who has a day job (which inevitably extends through the night in most days) that I truly like.

The field of expertise I chose is something very new, albeit also quite difficult to break in a region where it is not exhaustively practiced.

The past several weeks were spent drafting our annual performance evaluations. I rated my one-downs higher than what I received – they deserve it. My team is SPECTACULAR. The mix of people is great and everyone is hardworking.

We managed to reach most of last year’s targets. However, given the economic recession, we were forced to temporarily halt some projects that should have made it.

Pwede kaya itong i-consider na force majeure? Hahaha. Unfortunately not.

My rating was definitely not bad, considering last year’s economic milieu, I think this is the highest rating I have earned, by far. I was already happy with my TOR scores but I felt that in some of the behavioral and leadership scores, both my colleague and I deserved an itsy bitsy higher rating.

Aside from the team’s official cheerleaders, AM and I managed to roll out operations sans the support of my existing vendors in the first half of the year.

Kandakuba na kami delivering all the prototypes and wireframes.

Normally, I just print and sign my evaluation papers. This time, I somehow felt that I needed to justify the behavioral scores to be a notch higher.

I e-mailed my boss about it and made a case as to why I should get higher, citing of course that AM should get higher, too.

I sent my email before lunch time so I was actually antsy the whole time I was eating with friends. It’s not a normal practice to appeal for a re-eval. Hindi ko naubos yung food sa sobrang kabog ng dibdib.

When I got to my desk, I immediately checked mail. Boss raised the scores 2 notches above! Saya! Although the total score was not significantly affected by the increase, I was happy to still get higher.

Perhaps, what made me feel more fulfilled was I took it upon myself to ask for what I think I deserve – which I normally don’t do. There were some evaluation periods that I felt I deserved a higher rating but kept mum about it. I’m happier to have also justified my colleague’s higher scores with me.

Whether or not we get a raise is a different story, but with or without it, I’m just happy with the outcome.

To my team, thanks for being the great and efficient people that you are. We managed to get more visibility and reach more milestones because of you guys.

Game ulit this year!

It probably hurts all the more...

...to know that this is HOW MUCH I am in love with this guy.

Yes.

I know it really sucks to know that.

It sucked for me too, initially.

So...

Us or not: doesn't matter and doesn't make a difference.

You don't have to be with someone to fall in love with a person.

Conversely, you can be with a person and not be in love.

P.S.

The first IP address is in Metro Manila. I know the coordinates.

Two days after, the next IP address of the same person is in Hong Kong.

I also got the ISPs.

Tapping fingers...

Hanep sa fluidity - Manila on Monday, Hong Kong on Wednesday.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Gem, care to make a wild guess?

Huling patol

Okay... huling statements.

Huling patol na din.

First of all... why are you making a big dill about one small Philip Stein watch?
Magwala ka kung Patek yan or Rolex.

If I have those two? Then you tell me if you really know.

Happy for you that you have 2 Steins.

I would recommend an IWC, too, or you can also claim you have one already?

You are obviously a frienemy who hates enough to make patol a personal blog.

Chikatime, isdatchu?

Pretensions...

No, I don't have any.

When I'm not busy social climbing, the way you put it, I do have a day job, darling.

I am a humble breadwinner of a middle class family.

Yes, I can afford to buy a Philip Stein on my own... even those with diamonds.

But I prefer the laidback style for jeans day.

You are threatening me that this is the last material piece that I would ever get from R.?

So what are you saying? That you will use your powers to break us up?

Well, well, well...

... tapping fingers...

Apparently, huli ka na sa balita.

HAHAHA.

You are obviously not in the loop, bebeh.

You might think or claim you know me, but you actually don't.

You may have known me in the past but it doesn't give you credit to judge me.

Yes - I know that you know me. Your statements were loaded and only people who "know" me will point reference to "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."

Yun pa lang dead giveaway na.

Plus the fact that if you know me, you may have forgotten that I am a little bit knowledgeable about computers.

So I have already located where you are, Big Sister.

Kahit mag-triple ka pa ng masking ng IP address mo - kaya kong kalkalin kung nasan ka.

Or perhaps in your very jaded sense of the world, you just cannot believe that great love can actually exist --- sans the considerations for money.

Remember... kung sino ang nakaisip, siya ang gumagawa.

I am not simple.

That I know.

I love luxury.

I LOOOOVE luxury.

That I know, too.

So does my friends.

Because I bust my ass for things and the blings that I want for myself.

I do not rob. I do not steal.

And I will NEVER trade love for money.

That is your biggest mistake.

That is the most incorrect assumption.

Pity the fool? You don't have to.

But I have to admit some very smart girls can be foolish when falling in love, sometimes.

Use me, accuse me.

I don't give a flying fuck.

But NEVER drag his name in this.

NEVER drag the one I love in a mess.

I have been through hell and back for this man.

And ONLY this man.

If you think I am staying with him for money --- then that's already a dead giveaway.

You are a frienemy.

You know what I mean.

Because my friends know I have no reason for staying... but I did.

I was full to the brim.

But I hell did.

If I am scared to lose him now because the family will allegedly not tolerate it?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

We have issues far greater than that.

You have no fucking idea what I have been through to fight for him.

Listen... and listen closely...

You cannot threaten me that I will lose him.

Because I already did.

Several painful times -- and I already lost count how many times this happened.

If you really know me, then you should already know this.

I've already caught several bullets for this man.

That reality alone will suffice.

And that is the reality that both he and I know.

So you cannot threaten me with that and expect na manginig ako sa takot.

You cannot make me fall on my knees for something or someone I already lost.

You don't know what I've been through.

So stop.

Because you don't know what you're talking about.

If you do, you should also know that R. is too smart to fall for a ploy like this. He is a man of honor and a man with a generous heart...

But you can never take advantage of him.

And you can never try to influence what he thinks.

None of us can.

On social climbing and getting what you want

Someone replied to my most recent post on getting the Philip Stein watch.

Take note --- sabi nga naman ni Susan Roces --- not once, but twice!

[Segue: I love quoting that, by the way.]

The poser, este, poster, is accusing me of being a social climber for having a boyfriend who showers me THE gifts.

Oh well.

Wala akong masabi.

I am probably THAT annoying to irritate someone... enough to react to my post.

Fame or infamy - same, same.

Define social climber nga.

According to Wikipedia, and I quote: "A social climber is someone who seeks social prominence by obsequious behavior. Some define it as a parvenu, one who has suddenly risen to a higher economic status but has not gained social acceptance of others in that class."

It's akin to being nouveau rich, isn't it?

Unfortunately for me, I am not rich yet. I wish I was.

So yes - if you can define someone who gets what she wants and is showered with love as a social climber...

...then yes, I am definitely one.

As compared to a bitter YOU who will post something so vile and jealous... I would rather...

... be Me!

Darling, you are so green with envy.

People who take the time out to post something as angry is just as jealous. If I stepped on your toes - then stop reading the blog, bebeh.

So you, IP 58.69.198... unless you accessed in an Internet cafe' - I'm watching you.

And...this is the one and only time I will glorify your existence and such hate.

Smile!

And the comments section remains to be open. No moderation mode ito.

Si Chuvaness nga got a new Louis Vuitton bag from the hubby, eh. I'm so inggit - although I didn't like the style of the LV bag. But I'm happy for her.

Sana ganon ka na lang din. Maging masaya ka na lang para sa iba.

Spread the love. ;)

Happy, happy, joy, joy

This weekend, I got my Philip Stein watch with red patent straps.

Woohooooo!!!

It’s my super mega early V-day gift.

Haaaallelujah!

We were running errands at the mall and looking for gifts for friends with new houses and apartments. In the middle of the chaos, we went inside Lucerne. R. said we’re just going to check out the new styles and if the Philip Stein watches are cheaper here than in Hong Kong.

We found my uber love with red patent straps and without batting an eyelash, he told the saleslady to wrap and charge.

Sweetness.

Sana ganon palagi.

Although the gifts are most welcome, what’s more important to me are the blissful, peaceful, happy weekends together.

Thank you, R.

Eyeloveit.

[Picture above is the actual Philip Stein model that I got. I realized, as per R.'s suggestion that black dial looks better with red patent straps.]

Beautiful Friday

Today is a wonderfully blessed Friday.

I cannot thank the heavens enough for it.

The two phone calls I have been waiting for already came --- not in the time that I expected it to.

Honestly, I was ready to give them up. Anyway, I am happy about how things are. The two phone calls, admittedly, made me happier.

As good tidings come in threes, I also got a third blessing today, although I had to ask someone for it.

Moral lessons of the story:

1. Sometimes, when you feel you deserve something more, the only way to get it is to ask.

2. There is virtue in gracefully waiting and graciously giving way to others. Because my turn will come and when it does, it hella rocks!

Thank God for the bounty.

Happy Friday, everyone!

I want you, Philip Stein

I've been eyeing this Philip Stein watch with red patent strap.

Isn't it just fab?

Nice to wear during jeans day!

Under normal circumstances, I will reward myself this new baby without batting an eyelash.

With the economic recession, however, it's common decency and actually - just plain old common sense - to hold off any unnecessary spending and hold on to my horses.

Okay foyn.

Tititigan ko na lang muna si Philip Stein.

Sigh.

Until the economy recovers.

Or at the very least, until I'm certain that it's on its way.

I'm being very bullish, though.

So Philip Stein... mapapasaakin ka din!

Harharhar!

When redheads have all the fun

Today, my hair just turned red.

As in Cate Blanchett in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” red head.

Gem, Des and I went to the salon to change the colors of our hair.

And we’re all uber fab red heads!

Happiness.

Who said only blondes have all the fun?

Hah.

Patience as my virtue

I am waiting for two major things right now.

One pertains to the status of the hard work I put in my final school paper.

The other one is about waiting for a phone call that may well change my life this year.

Either way, the end-results are not in my hands.

And for an impatient person like me, waiting SUCKS!

I take comfort in these words that I read this afternoon:

"Patience is not so much about waiting, as it is about how one behaves while waiting."

And another one from Lyman Abbott:

“Patience is passion tamed.”

Yet again, I ask myself:

How can you tame passion like mine?

Thus, I keep watching, I keep waiting.

Until I get the results, all I can do is graciously wait.

"Graciously" is the operative term.

Happy New Year!

“If my heart can become pure and simple like that of a child, I think there probably can be no greater happiness than this.” - Kitaro Nishida

I wish everyone a blessed 2009.

In difficult times, it helps to be positive.

It helps to have a clearer, more grounded perspective.

Cheers to greater love, happiness, abundance and friendship!

Change of heart

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” – William James

True enough.

I was not a Christmas person. Christmas carols made me sad.

I thought Christmas was overrated – people are just forced to be happy, giddy and good – all for the sake of the holidays and the birth of Christ.

It’s hypocritical.

We can choose to be happy, generous and be good people all year round.

Why make Christmas an excuse to become better persons when we can make the effort sans the occasion?

The holiday blues was made worse by the fact that this year is the 2^nd Christmas that Nanay isn’t around. It’s breaking my heart.

So what’s Christmas to me?

It just made me feel more miserable.

And empty.

But not this year.

In early December, I made a resolution that no matter the pain that the break-up caused me, no matter the heartache I feel that Nanay is gone – I will make an effort to celebrate Christmas --- to be joyful and grateful for all the blessings.

I completed the Simbang Gabi.

I prayed.

I wrapped gifts.

I cooked Christmas dinner – my much-celebrated pasta and meat sauce.

I spent Christmas Eve with the family.

I went to Boracay for a short trip with him. Yes, with him.

Because Christmas…

Is not about me.

I’m glad I made the resolution.

I am happier. More peaceful. And more in love… with life and with all the special people in my life.

Because love is beyond conventional definitions.

And so is Christmas.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I hope you have the same fortune that I have this season – to feel what it really is all about.

This email made me cry today

"we are works of art. we are not done yet.

we still have to undergo pains but when we're done, we will be priceless and fab.

da vinci did not finish the mona lisa in one day.

i believe we will have our time. you and i.

it would be a complete and utter disgust to the whole humankind kung hindi.
darating din yun.
darating din sya.
in the meantime,
we have beaches to conquer, wines to drink, boys to have fun with and uber fab friends who will pick us up or untog our ulo when we get lost."

Ask any of my best friends and they will all tell you the same thing: no matter how painful the heartache is, they never saw me cry.

But this email is one for the books.

As soon as I read it, I couldn't help but just break down.

To the bestie who sent this: Thank you.

The email moved me.

And my new baby is born

I've been collaborating with Andoy for several weeks now to launch a new project.

Janjararaaaaaan...

Talk Usability is now up!

Finally!

I hope you can link us, visit and read our musings on what puts food on our table, and of course - what we like to do and what we do best (or at least we think we do).

Thanks to the Inner Circle for the support!

Party over here, party over there

Yesterday night marked the beginning of yet another series of Christmas parties.

Our division in the office welcomed the first week of December with our White Christmas Party at Dasma, Makati.

Although I'm not a fan of white clothes - because I am admittedly dugyot and clumsy wearing white - I had to get into the spirit.

I was just praying the whole night that I don't spill red wine on it.

I actually did, but it was when the party was almost over and I was still sober enough to rush to the bathroom to take the stain off.

I was part of the alcohol committee who pooled all the wine, vodka, rum and beer together. As such, I also got first dibs of the finest - Reserve, Asti, Sparkling wine and Mondavi!

Pao and I hoarded the Mondavi that another officemate brought.

The party was a blast! I had so much fun and I'm loving, loving the new guys.

Check out my photo with Ian - taken before we got totally wasted.

Best girlfriend trip... ever!

My trip to Hong Kong was shelved - a week before I was supposed to get tickets for it.

I wanted to go back to HK in time for the hairy crab season. I wanted first dibs of hairy crab at Wu Kong, Tsim Sha Tsui.

Some things, however, were inevitable.

I still don't want to talk about it.

Moving on...

You know, when I want something, I really will move mountains to get it. And I wanted a trip for the long weekend. So the girlfriends helped in looking for a beach resort we have not visited yet. I came across Punta de Uian.

It was probably Divine Providence - or the Universe just wanted to humor me - but Punta de Uian was the second link on the page when I googled resorts in Zambales.

The girlfriends didn't waste time and immediately booked for a 3 days 2 nights beach break.

FUN --- is an understatement.

The girlfriends are definitely going to do this again.

And this time - we even have a special project on what we want to do next.

I can't wait!

Postcript for StoicSuchi: It's not that I didn't want the man that I had. I did. You're the best person to say that I definitely did. The thing is, he didn't know that I meant it when I said it was really him.

Geek Christmas wish

Geek na kung geek!

I would really like to get my hands on these uber nice and girly USB pendant and necklaces.

Everywhere I go, I need a USB. I have nearly 5 meetings a day --- most of the time. Normally, we share files in these meetings.

It's kaartehan and something that I need at the same time.













Okay, foyn, the last pendant is heart-shaped. If you're my friend, then you know that I have an aversion to anything with heart designs. I will, however, make an exception for this one. It's Swarovski-studded, even!

On a side note --- Gemma, Des and I are going to the beach very early tomorrow morning. Again, if you are my friend, you then know the MAIN reason why I go to the beach with girlfriends.

I don't want to talk about it yet.

But I am hanging in there.

If you're my friend - you already know what I'm talking about.

Wish me a good weekend, folks.

I badly need one. I think I've been a good, nay, great girl who deserves one fantastic weekend break.

I wish the same for everyone.