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Saturday, October 09, 2010

My Jakarta Life

Back in Manila, I will never be caught dead wearing this, much less do a fashion show!


But here in Jakarta, I actually did. I had so much fun. Genuine fun.

At Immigrant Club a couple of weeks back, someone told me that the expat life is sad and lonely. It can get to you. I beg to differ. It IS lonely if you don't have friends and you choose to keep it to yourself. I didn't. I won't.

I'm lucky to have started things out well. I sure am blessed that Marc (now back in Manila) picked me up in the airport when I didn't know anybody from here and that Evelyn invited me to dinner on my first day at work.

Life is good. Hell yeah!

It's fantabulous.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Drama

Yes - my Monday was oh-so full of it.

Emergency meetings here and there. And the not-so-usual office drama.
Yes, expats are not excluded. Fortunately or unfortunately for us.

It's all in a day's work.

And yes, tomorrow's another day with A LOT of meetings.

Thinking about it just makes me want me to call for another massage.

But there is always a silver lining. So go silver lining! Do your magic.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Being human

I'm at the edge of my seat. I'm watching this British series - a dramady about 3 friends - a ghost, a vampire and a werewolf sharing one house. Surprisingly, it's addicting.

I'm not sure if the copies are available in Manila - but in my book, the series rocks!
September bar exams

If there is one thing that I'm missing out on, it's the bar exams happening now in Manila.

I actually miss playing nanny and gofer to my barrister friends - taga-dala ng Starbucks brewed coffee and Saturday evening dinner.

Today is the 3rd Sunday. I just hope my barrister friends are still alive.

Good luck, Thad and Minnie!!!

I hope you guys make it.

Too bad I'm not in Manila but I'm wishing both of you well.

Monday, September 13, 2010

On holiday mode

Five days of being on holiday mode.

Aylavet!!!

Nothing but spacing out, pigging out, catching up on much-needed Zzzzzzs, champagne brunch and good conversations with friends.

I so needed it. The past 2 weeks have been very, very stressful.

I'm so glad I had some down time.

And drunken moments with Evelyn at the Four Seasons. Hahaha.


Wonderful.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I want that

Yes --- that feeling when I have butterflies in my stomach.

I need that...

That ecstatic feeling of being madly, deeply in love.

I miss that natural high. Admittedly, that kept me going for a long, long time.

True that - I am in love with love, with the concept of being in love.
I am better when there is a better half. It makes me a better person.
It makes me want to be one.

And right now, if that is elusive, I guess I just need to keep on believing.

There is hope for the flowers.

Monday, September 06, 2010

On a roll

It's a Monday. And I'm on a roll!

I've got gazillions of things to do in the office. And I want to do them all.

I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time.

Fantastic!

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Shopping and window-shopping...

The temporary relief from stress and frustration.

As I walked through the local shops at Grand Indo, my anger dissipated.

It's temporary relief, but sure works for me.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Angry

...is what I am.

I'm angry at you.

For making me feel I have no options.

Because you took them away from me.


Fame!

Remember my name
Fame

I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly
High

I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
Fame

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
Fame

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name

You better.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Of Pinoys, striving for excellence and pwede na mentality

With last week's hostage drama that shook the Philippines, I am re-posting Erwin Oliva's article on Yahoo's FTP.

Among everything that was written about the hostage drama and the recent Miss Universe pageant, I'm quite affected by this article.

As a Pinoy who graduated from UP, it was instilled in our minds to always strive for the best. In my entire stint at the state university during my undergrad and graduate studies, it was drilled in our heads that coming from the bastion of freedom and academic excellence, it was natural for us to be the best that we can, to loathe mediocrity, to never settle.

Even before my university days, I was raised by my Mom to over-achieve. A little bit of slant in my penmanship and my notebooks flew out of our house's window. Second best was never an option.

I feel strongly about being pwede na. I was never pwede na. I've always pushed myself to the limits and I've seen many of my batchmates, my colleagues and my friends do the same thing.

Yes - we are all Pinoys. My core friends are Pinoys. No matter how many expat friends I have, no matter how many countries I go to and live in, I am Pinoy. To the core. No matter what.

And no --- I don't subscribe to pwede na mentality. Never did, never will.


Why there's hope and the 'pwede na' mentality

by Erwin Oliva

I’m writing this opinion piece as a direct reaction to a Huffington Post article on the recent hostage crisis and Venus Raj’s supposed blunder in the concluded Miss Universe pageant. One question was posed, as this article ended: How much are Filipinos demanding of themselves?

Mr. Wagner wrote: “I came to the conclusion that in spite of all the things the Philippines has going for it, its people didn’t demand enough of themselves, or of their government. Political apathy and a willingness to accept a low common denominator of performance have taken their toll on the psyche of the Philippine people.”

I’m teaching now at the University of the Philippines. Apart from imparting lesson on how to write for a popular audience, I’m sharing values and life’s lessons. Every writing exercise also aims to build confidence. From these exercises, I’m hoping to drill the point that they should strive for excellence.

Once I was asked why I decided to teach. My reply: I see hope in these kids. That may sound corny, but it’s true. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing that after weeks of sharing lessons in writing, they will also realize I’m future-proofing them. I learned this lesson the hard way.

I made mistakes—but there was none that I would have regretted. So this would explain Venus’ “major, major” answer that has been turned into a running joke. At such a young age, Venus sees hope. So when asked what was the biggest mistake she has done in her life, and what could have she done to correct it, she didn’t pick a specific incident. We all make mistakes in life and we learn from it. No regrets. In my book, that’s an honest answer to a very difficult question.

Reacting to a post I made on Facebook about the HuffPost article, Filipino journalist Luz Rimban thinks that “even when success should be within reach, we often don’t ensure it, or don’t set ourselves up to succeed. It’s not just the ‘pwede na’ [That’s good enough] mentality. It’s the lack of competitiveness, the absence of the fight-to-the-finish, all-or-nothing mentality that drives others to be the best they can be. Filipinos just make do. But the situation is different when Filipinos go abroad, however. Nag-iiba na mindset nila [Their mindset changes].”

On August 23, 2010, the world watched a desperate former policeman take hostage of innocent tourists in Manila. As I watched events unfold, I felt sadness and anger. For a country wanting hope, this is another black-eye. The day-long hostage drama ended in a bloodbath. The next day, Venus who was touted as one of the top Ms. Universe candidates supposedly choked when asked a difficult question. Somehow, some local and foreign observers connected this event to the August 23 hostage fiasco.

Is this a reflection of the Philippine society? Do Filipinos love shooting themselves on the foot? Mistakes are repeated, giving out the impression that we don’t learn from history? Sad, but it’s true.

Jojo Ayson, another Filipino who reacted to my question on Facebook, offered this opinion: “As a general rule of thumb, we should all demand more from ourselves and strive to be better. I agree that we have to demand more from ourselves in the situation and not continue with a ‘pwede na’ attitude. Even if things did go better there is always room for improvement. That said, regardless of where you stand on the level of competency displayed I think we can all agree that we could have done better. The key is in striving to be better. If we had that attitude then we will no longer fall victim of ‘pwede na.’”

Indeed, Filipinos do demand from themselves a lot. Our pursuit of excellence is reflected in our sheer determination to survive the onslaught of negative forces shaping society. I saw this during Ondoy where unsung heroes thrived. The country witnessed this when the people toppled a dictatorship in 1986. I was there when Filipinos decided to boot out Estrada from government.

And who can deny that Manny Pacquiao is one shining example of the Filipinos’ pursuit of excellence. He epitomizes the Filipinos’ struggle to become the greatest in what they do.

In a recent lunch conversation with a friend who read a draft of this piece, she offered this insight: our pursuit of excellence is relative to our situation. For most Filipinos living in poverty, finding a decent job to pay for a decent meal drives them to demand more from themselves.

Overseas Filipino workers decide to leave their families to work abroad –sometimes in harsh conditions – to provide them a better future.

One would argue that the abovementioned examples are natural reactions to situations where government has failed to provide jobs for its booming population.

The Filipinos’ psyche is indeed intriguing, as Mr. Wagner pointed out in his article.

“If the Philippines wants to get its act together and live up to its potential, it needs to demand more of itself. It can achieve this by stopping making excuses for its failures and ending its acceptance of the lowest common denominator,” Mr Wagner posed.

If you look at Philippine history, we Filipinos have risen to the occasion many times over to topple a dictatorship, to boot out corrupt government officials, and correct a misdirected government. In short, we’re still hoping to change for the better, and if it takes a lifetime to achieve that, then so be it.

I don’t expect changes to happen overnight, as world histories have taught me. But it is clear from our vantage as Filipinos that hope is not so far off. Not everyone accepts the lowest common denominator, and we’re not going to make any excuses for our law enforcers’ or even media’s failures.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

LV me, baby

Number 1 sign that I'm super stressed:

I'm looking at Louis Vuittion and Chanel bags online.

Here I am --- staring at a Chanel lambskin backpack and an LV Damier Duomo.

Sigh.

This is what stress can do.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Happy birthday, Arlene!

Beb, Happy Birthday!!!

Just like you, my celebration this year will be quiet, too.

I hope you're happy. I know you will be happy.

I wish things will get better and that you will find peace and your True North.

Thank you for being with me through and through.

For the next birthdays to come, I know we will be there for each other.

Cheers, Beb!
Official

I now feel like I'm an official employee. And that I have really settled here well.

Yesterday was our payday and for the first time ever in my 3 months here, they deposited my salary to my local banks.

And I got my rupiah allowance on time. :)

Happy, happy, joy, joy!!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Goodbye, Big

I’m so done with the Carrie stint.

After more than four years, I’m done.

It’s one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever done in this lifetime.

It’s also one of the bravest.

I know not everyone can walk away from a relationship that is no longer working but has become a comfort zone. The thing is, he is not just a comfort zone to me.

He is the love of my life.

When people used to ask me who the love of my life is, I fumble in the attempt to give a name. After a string of relationships, how can I not have one?

Yesterday, I walked away from the love of my life.

I’m grateful that I was given the chance to have met The One, to have experienced to fall in love with The One.

But whoever said that you will end up with The One is a fool. No such rule is written.

Because The One also broke my heart into a million pieces. I’m not even sure if I can ever pick them all up and glue or sew the pieces together one by one. I’m not sure if I can ever fall that madly, deeply in love again.

But I’m walking away.

I don’t want to be kept at an arm’s length anymore.

Goodbye, Big.

It was a mélange of pure bliss, happiness, tears and pain.

You were worth it.

But I’m done fighting.

It’s my turn to be fought for.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

The Bitch weekend

Evelyn - a Pinay colleague and friend - formed this BBM group she fondly named The Jakarta Bitches. It's just 5 Pinays here (yes, including Madison) who gets together regularly for the Saturday salon day, Wednesday movie night and the usual dinner and drinks.

Yesterday, I went to Kleo-Fazio salon with Madison for my usual hair creme bath treat and her mani-pedi. The hair spa here is fantabulous - the scalp and back massage lasts for a good one hour. It's one of my not-so-cheap thrills to tide me over very stressful weeks.

After the salon session, we got together with Evelyn and Leah to watch Salt at the Premier EX. I'm not over the Inception hype so although Salt was good, it was a so-so movie for me. No cognitive processing needed so it's all good. Liv Schreiber's role was a dead giveaway of the ending, though. Whoever thought of the casting, hello???

Today, the Jakarta Bitches will all trek to the Four Seasons for our champagne brunch. The Jakarta Bitches Convention - as Jen puts it. Hahaha. Thus, the need for me to wake up early today (on a Sunday at that) to do a bit of work since I'm foreseeing I'm gonna be too wasted this afternoon to even think about usability standards.

It's been a great weekend, so far. I'm loving it.

So looking forward to the champagne and foie' gras in a couple of hours.

This. is. life.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Overloaded.com


Mid-week.

I slept with my slides last night.

10 meetings today.

Board presentation at 8am. I did the pitch and we got approved.

All the channels need standards. All of them needed them yesterday.

I’m undermanned and dear HR has not made the offer to my selected candidate.

I am pagod.com personified.

But I’m happy. I’m content.

Aylavet!

It’s tiring but it’s all worth it. At least, I’m breaking my back doing what I really love.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Dua bulan

Two months...

Time flies by really fast. I can't believe I've been here for two months already.

It's the first of August --- one of my best friends' birthday is coming up. Bar exams is on the horizon in September. When October comes, I'm turning another leaf.

Time flies, it really does.

This year, for the past seven months, I feel though that my time was well-spent.
It's been tiring, it's been hectic.

But everything is all worth it.

I do miss Manila. I wish I can come home. But I wanna rake in lots of moolah so I can party-hardy in December and go on that Cambodia trip that I've been dreaming of for the past 2 years.

So Jakarta is where I will be for now.

It's been surprisingly amazing, though.

Not bad, Jakarta. Not bad.

You've been treating this lady very nicely.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Blast from the past

This is really weird.

Right smack in the middle of a hectic Tuesday, I got a YM message from the Bad Boy high school ex-boyfriend of more than a decade ago.


Bad Boy Ex is asking me for help.

Yes. Me. For help.

Of all people.

He needs me to bail him out of a financial mess.

We became friends several years after I forgave him when he cheated on me and got our high school bus mate preggers. Yes, this was in high school. When I was still in Manila, I was usually his 911.

He got me to open the door for him during drunken nights. He got me to be the oh-so cliche' shoulder to cry on. I even brought him home at 5 in the morning when he didn't want to go home to his family. Yes - I was his voice of reason and conscience. At least I tried to be. I guess, I was being messianic, despite what he did to me.

I was the "in case of emergency" at some point in his life.

But he never asked me for financial help.

I know I am THE last person he will run to. So if he is running to me now, it means he's really desperate.

Pop quiz: Do you extend a bit of financial help to an ex-Bad Boy flame who claims he wants to change for the better?

Grain of salt, grain of salt.

After all these years, though, I'm keeping the faith that some day, one day, he will come around. For his own sake. And his 3 daughters'.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Jakarta files: Random Sunday musings

Ever since I landed in Jakarta, Sundays became the default day of respite. I never really rested on Sundays when I was in Manila.

Well, for one, my driver needs a day-off. Blame it on the expat lifestyle that you can get quickly accustomed to here, but I feel lazy going out if Pak Karman is not with me. I know. Katamaran, isdatchu? Spoiled brat, isdisme?

More importantly, though, work is really tiring. Tiring – is the understatement of the month. Despite the reality here that offices close their lights and turn off their LAN connections at 6:00 pm, our work doesn’t end there. Either we continue meetings until dinner time at Loewy or we bring work home.

It helps a lot that I love what I’m doing. I’m back doing usability and portal management. I wanna kick ass doing both. It does entail long hours - lunch and dinner meetings to boot.
With this, I officially declared Sunday as my quiet time in the apartment when I can catch up with favorite TV series (Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!) or talk to my friends and family in Manila.

This morning, while waiting for Ana to arrive for my house clean-up, I decided to re-skin my blog. New updates deserve a new look.

Plus, my comment enabler Haloscan was bought out by a greedy company who wanted to charge USD $10 to continue the service. Hell no! ‘Won’t spend a dime for social networking that’s supposed to be FREE. Hello, Echo? What the hell were you thinking???

Anyways…

Aside from being uber hectic to ensure my smooth transition to Jakarta, Facebook was one of the culprits why I updated less frequently (another understatement). It’s easier to just drop a line or two there for updates.

I know. That excuse is a total cop out.

And so my blog quest continues…

For now, I shall enjoy my quiet Sunday.