Getting rid of unneccessary stress

Seriously, on a great Friday...

I DON'T NEED IT. 

I don't want to fuss over the small things. 
I don't want to be bothered by the trite and the trivial that can possibly irritate me. 

My schedule is full to the brim. It's mid-December and I've spent most of the time running around for errands. I know this will be the case until February, so as much as I possibly can, I need to just learn to let go. 

Don't sweat the small stuff. 

Repeat. 

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.

Repeat until it sinks in. 

Wanted: desk time

I've been neglecting my paper work and it's been piling heaps. 

I need my desk time. Quiet time to approve leave requests, answer satisfaction surveys of other groups, monitor our group budget and spending. 

I need SILENCE.

The gift of time

Time. 

I need more time.

15 days before Christmas. 

2 months before the wedding. 

I need more than 24 hours in a day. 

So help me God. 


 

Chronicles of a Lagareng Weekend

It turned out, my weekend was just meant for me to run errands.

Gone are my usual Friday drinking sesh - which apparently is good for me since I'm trying to lose a few lbs. for my gown to fit semi-perfectly. 

I had to wake up at past 6am on Saturday morning to quickly shower and pick Abby and my Mom up. We headed out to Divi so I can buy the fabric needed for the bridesmaid dresses. 

From there, I had to buy boxes, gift wrappers and some items for Abby. 

We left Binondo at 2pm so I can have some downtime before I do my best friend duties in the evening. Lo and behold, I had to endure a 2-hour traffic on the way home so I had to immediately jump into the shower and get dressed. 

The only real downtime I had was my Saturday late night alone at home after dinner and drinks at Bugsys. I was literally running around the whole day. 

Sunday was no less frantic. After worship and the traditional Sunday family lunch, I normally take long naps but I had to trade them for a gift wrapping sesh. I made a significant dent on my list but 2/3 still need to be wrapped. Ang arte ko kasi mag-gift wrap. Kailangan production number talaga?  

It works in my favor that I have actually come to accept that I'm destined to be Superwoman Multi-tasker Extraordinaire this December. The earlier I came to terms with it, the more efficient and effective I am. 

Kailangan ng dibdibang multivitamins nito! 

From hereon though, I need to make a commitment to not compromise my sleep, lest I want to fall ill. 

I need all the extra superpowers that I can get. 

So help me God!

Disoriented

What can ruin a great Friday fever? 

MIGRAINE. 

And the feeling of disorientation. 

The weird thing is, the disorientation part came after I've had enough sleep. I was even more in the zone when I wasn't having enough. 

WTH. 

Anyways, I had to exert humongous effort to concentrate and do my work in the afternoon. It paid off a little bit, though I still have leftover paperwork to do over the weekend. 

It's almost 6pm --- and I'm packing up early! 

TGIF, indeed!!! 

TGIF! I love Fridays!

After a series of sleepless nights, I so deserve this Friday! 

'Been sleeping at past 3am for a host of reasons - I drafted preso slides, I got so caught up wrapping Christmas gifts that I didn't notice the time, I was reviewing decks, etc. 

Last year, one of my platforms had issues and we were compelled to miss the company Christmas party just so I can ensure that my systems remain up and running. This year, I vowed not to miss it, but heck, Yolanda came to the country so the company decided to not hold the party this year and give the proceeds to the Yolanda victims. Nothing lost and the money is better used that way. 

On the other hand, I promised myself I'd get into the Christmas spirit this year. COME WHAT MAY. 

So tonight, I hope I don't get derailed by friends who want to party the Friday night away. I intend to make a dent wrapping my Christmas presents. 

So glad and relieved it's a Friday! 

Pagoda coldwave lotion

Tiring 2 days. I've been sleeping at past 3am already for 2 straight days, either drafting slides or wrapping Christmas presents. 

Time to hit the sack early tonight. 

Bawal ubos ganda. 

Start of Christmas shopping: Faaaaaayt!!!

Bitstrippin' like cuh-raaaazy

It's the latest fad online and it's been invading Facebook. I'm a late adopter of Bitstrip but it's been my leads' way to ease up the stress, especially today. 

The strips below are just really hilarious. LOL. 

Chronicles of the Dude Bestie

I was actually surprised that he texted and called me when he was in Davao. It was an SOS call - something that I rarely get from Ian. The one and the only dude bestie.

Heck, I think the last time that we were on this mode was when we were both in the university. 

Apparently, he's into this love affair that's either on the cusp of falling apart or of turning into something really serious. 

Who else to call but the lone girl bestfriend, right? 

Riiiiiiiight. 

As if I have the moral ascendancy to give advice on love issues. I was in a series of roller coaster rides before I decided to finally tie the cliche' knot [more on the knot story in a separate blog]. 

How can be a girl twice engaged suddenly become the love doctor when she doesn't even know what she's doing half of the time when it comes to romantic relationships?

In any case, it was definitely an SOS. Ian wanted to see me for dinner on the same week. I was on house arrest for 2 days and I had a Catholic conference the entire weekend [yes, it seems off from the personality but I'm definitely church-active], we had to settle for an early Saturday night dinner. I had to be back at the conference by 9am on Sunday morning. 

The early Saturday night dinner ended at 2 in the morning the next day. We had so much to talk about that we didn't even notice the time and the fact that we actually had one too many to drink. 

Ian was never the super-emo type. Angsty, yes. Emo, not really. Thus, my surprise when he called me to talk about a heart issue. It wasn't anything catastrophic. The storyline wasn't even something that had novelty in it. But the issue is something that we all face at some point in our lives. 

Do we choose to love someone and stay with the person that might not exactly share the same future we want and the same values?

Not to patronize my guy bestie, but I honestly thing he has the one up in this game, but he has one point that makes sense. He's tired of the game. He wants something solid. Steady. I do understand the sentiment. 

At some point, don't we all want the same thing? 

Despite the issues we talked about, we actually both enjoyed the night. 

There is really this certain degree of comfort when you are with someone who has known you your whole life. 

Ian forgets my birthday. It never fails. Every year, he does. I'd get a call several weeks after from him, with the same stupid question that he asks, "Dude, was it your birthday?" 

But then again, it is that same degree of comfort that we have with each other that assures me I can call him anytime --- and he will always be there.

Day 2 of House Arrest: Confessions of a Workaholic

Day 2 of house arrest. I'm still alive - without the restlessness and fidgeting. 



I feel guilty when I take a break and push work stuff in a corner.

I feel bad putting off things for the next day --- even if accomplishing everything on my list will kill me. 

There. I said it. 

Skye is right. I do not know how to relax. I wish for it, I crave for it, I dream of it. 
But when I get a day or two's break, I don't know what to do. He actually said that he'd be a much better houseband and will reach that goal faster than I can be a housewife.

I get lost without the structure of a to-do list, because truth be told, there's so much to do!!! 

1. Work-wise, I have to build a major platform that needs to be up and running by next year. 

2. That is just one of the hundreds of things I need to do at work. I don't even want to go into mentally enumerating them. 

3. I've got a wedding ceremony and party to organize. Although I'm halfway there, it's no reason for me to silently panic. 

4. 2014 is just around the corner and I'm nowhere near touching my vision board. 

5. I have to account for all my mortgage payment if I want to sell one of my real estate properties. 

Had I not gone on a quick break, I would probably be suffering a panic attack right now. 

I know I'm trying to alleviate my guilt by opening my lappy, going online and trying to be productive by 9am - but it is a slow and good start for someone like me. 

I need to breathe. Yes, I keep telling myself that. 

It's okay to breathe. 

On house arrest: toning down the kuracha mode

I am forced to be on house arrest for two days, starting today. 

My doctor slapped me with a medical cert and reprimanded me to slow down, take it easy and just stone at home, after being diagnosed with chronic tonsillopharyngitis, which has been pestering me for two weeks now.

None of my friends believe I can do absolutely nothing in the two days and just stare in space. 

True enough, I managed to (slightly) organize my files and papers for my QC condo, write checks for some payments and finish my book. 

My Facebook wall today was littered by messages from friends scolding me to stay put --- even for a little while. 

Eto na. Makikinig na. 

It's true. We do need time to take a break and recharge once in a while. 

It's good for the soul. It sets things in perspective once again.

It's a welcome break. =)    

Decluttering the mind space

There's way too many cobwebs in my head right now. 

I need to declutter. 

Re-center. 

And then focus. 

I've been sick for more than a week now, but I only skipped work for a day. There's way too many things to do, too many tick boxes that I need to check on my list (there goes the list again!). 

This time, though, I need to stop. And breathe. 

I'm getting disoriented already. 

I need to keep calm so I can roll up my sleeves and do the dirty work once again. 

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do this afternoon. 

*shutting down iPad*

And then there was Yolanda

Yolanda is by far the strongest typhoon recorded to set foot on land. Unfortunately for the Filipinos, she traversed through the Visayan region like a scythe.

This much I can say, though. 

Relentless and fierce. 

Oh, hell yeah, we are. 

Fierce

Third day with the bug but I'm in the office, working like nothing's changed. 

As giddy as ever. Fierce kung fierce. 

I will be relentless. 

You won't bug me, bug. Pun intended. 

Bugged

I knew it. 

I was feeling under the weather last Monday. True enough, I caught the flu bug. Since I had my flu shots this year, my system's been trying to fight it off.  I did panic, though, because I had a lot of mosquito bites last Friday when we had cocktails at Bugsys.

I took the day off yesterday.  To rest. Re-channel. Realign. Re-center. 
All I did was eat, sleep, read, eat sleep. It definitely helped in my recovery. 

I'm back in the office, although I'm not in my best form yet. Just to be sure, I scheduled a doctor's appointment in the afternoon to also validate if I need to be tested for dengue. 

Crossing finges that it's not so that I can go back to my TRX classes. 

It feels good to slow down, though. I shouldn't be stubborn next time, to have to wait to get sick before I slow down.

Yes, yes. I'm listening, beloved Universe. 

Slowing down, slowing down. 

Cheaper than a shrink

Today, I just decided to take it easy on myself. 

To be more forgiving of myself. 

To just be. 

When anger and hate come knocking on my door

In a moment when anger is justified, let me have compassion and empathy instead. I may not be able to change what is inside another person's heart, but change mine.

And amidst a frenzy when I want to pull my hair out because things are not going according to plan, remind me of my mantra that works all the time: 

Grace under pressure, my love. Grace under pressure. 

Bawal ang ubos-ganda moves. 

Living life. I mean really living it.

I cannot live without my to-do list. As in my previous entry, it's part of my OCD. I get disoriented if I don't have a tangible list as reference of what I need to do. 

And whenever I don't accomplish as much in my list, I get really frustrated and annoyed at myself. I know. Throw me in the loony bin. 

This morning, my 10-12 meeting was moved to next week. As I was clamoring for my to-do list again, I realized I was missing out on my social obligations. Even that is on my list. 

Phone calls for best friends. Birthday greetings. Scheduling lunches and dinners for the long weekend. 

In the midst of my Facebook greetings and phone calls for friends, I realized how I can just lose my humanity running after my work targets and the long list I have on my Evernote. 

Despite my claim that it's my OCD in full effect that I have to put everything in my to-do list, I felt that I'm dehumanizing the aspect of my personal and social life by just relegating them as items to check on a list. I even have a Project Social label on it.

Fock. When did I ever get so rigid and ever-so structured that I run after accomplishing my list but missing out on the happiness that it brings me to talk to the people who really matter? 

I don't think I can get rid of my list. It will throw me off the wall. But today, I decided to enjoy the process. Tick off the check boxes but enjoy every moment. Every conversation. Every accomplishment. 

Today, I will just be. =) 

  

Crossroad, yet again

Crossroads have a way of teaching you life's important lessons. 

At least in my case, it's one of the most important stages where the Universe compels me to take action. 

So here I am again, at yet another crossroad in my career. It's a good one, though. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be given so many choices and opportunities. I'm not even deliberately looking, but the opportunities just come knocking. 

How can I not be grateful? 

If I go for one career opportunity, I will go back to the lion's den once again. I will again leave my family behind to explore opportunities. 

This time, though, I am not alone anymore. 

But if I don't go, I feel like I'm starting to become complacent already. 
Complacency has never been in my vocabulary. So has it permeated my life as of late?  I refuse to believe so. 

I'm struggling to make a decision. Normally, I stall when this happens. So many things to consider, not enough time. 

I'm asking the Universe to again conspire in my favor for me to be enlightened and to make the right decision - for me and for everyone I love.