Fights

Not a fan.

Emotionally draining. Strangely physically taxing, too. 

Fights. 

I hate it.  

Today's FB post

In my X years of existence, I have never scraped my knee - until now. The abrasion's covering almost 50% of my entire left knee. I can't walk properly. I have to be assisted most of the time. Standing and sitting are both feats. It's clumsiness, irrationality and plain stupidity how in the world I got this injury. One thing I realized, though, is that 5 or 35, mother's reactions will always be the same. Protective. Nurturing. Caring.

Mom just charged the whole thing to a silly experience. But she dressed my wounds nonetheless - while I was screaming my head off on my pillow.

Thank God for a great Mom. Thanks for dressing my wounds through these years - metaphorical or otherwise.

Keanu-ing on a Friday

TGIF! 

As I transition myself to the weekend, a thought bubble came to mind.

Wondered how Keanu Reeves was doing these days. 

Very, very random thought. 

But I did look him up.

Happy weekend, everyone!!!

A year in retrospect: Happy anniversary to me

Exactly 10th of June. 

It's been a year today since my feet (or the plane, for that matter) brought me back to Manila. 

It's been a year of a roller coaster ride that's a mix of fun, adventure and a lot of exciting things that came my way.

The future looks brighter ahead. 

And I can't wait! 

Before I even go giddy about the greater things to come, I'd really like to spend this week for introspection. I know I've done so much but there were also short falls that I'd like to compensate for in the coming weeks and months ahead. 

But cheers to me for a great year that was! 

Not bad, A. Not bad. 

=)      

On travel frenzy, getting the flu and the future in-laws

I've got barely an hour to go here at Starbucks, 1 Utama Mall at PJ before future mudra-in-law picks me up to head home. Yep, I've been left alone with her since breakfast this morning...but that's not where the story begins. 

Friday night last week, I was literally dragging myself to the airport along with my luggage en route to KL. Dang flu hit me hard on the exact day that I was flying out. Imagine achy joints, major backache, hard cough, fever and severe migraine all conveniently rolled into one. Yep - that was me when I flew out. 

I was on the verge of tears while in line at the immig feeling sorry for myself. Skye wanted me to defer my flight the following day, but Miss Kuripot didn't want to incur USD$250 for a one-way ticket from Manila to KL.  

So on I went to take my flight. Luckily, I was front row and a handsome flight attendant was there to assist me in all my needs. Well, that's the thing. I was at a near-delirium stage already that I cannot even appreciate the eye candy. Yes. It was that bad.

I passed out in the car when Skye picked me up at the airport. 

Saturday - I was a vegetable in bed but I had to force myself to eat meals with his parents as courtesy.  We were actually reprimanded for eating too late in the night for dinner. As mudra-in-law said, "makan time is makan time." That was again a reminder before we headed out yesterday. 

Segue' to today. When Skye left the house for work, he had to ask me to down for breakkie. "Hey, my Mom's nagging us to have breakfast. I'm packing mine. You have to eat yours." Okaaaaaaaaay. So obedient me, off I went. 

Organic breakfast - free-range egg, oats with organic cranberries, Ceylon tea. A quick conversation with the mudra. Not bad. 

We went to the mall together for lunch and grocery at the organic market. I had great organic soy curry laksa and some rice-veggies. 

And now here I am - sitting alone in Starbucks - enjoying some peace and quiet. 

I have not been forced to wake up and eat my breakfast for more than a decade now. I have been living independently, come to think of it, for more than 10 years already. 

Living in a house with very stringent house rules is weird for me. There's a place for wet and dry garbage, I can't eat in the bedroom (I drink wine and eat chips in mine) and the list goes on. 

Truth be told, I am terrorized by this new set of rules. Even Skye is terrorized by his own parents. Luckily, I am a fan of organic and vegetarian food! Unluckily, Skye is not!!! 

This entire KL trip as a prelude to our Beijing-Shanghai tour is a total frenzy! 

But as I sit quietly here, sitting and drinking my usual Starbucks cafe mocha (which by the way the mudra bought for me), I actually feel blessed and grateful. 

SERIOUSLY.  

First of all, I was introduced to the parents. 

Second, his parents are making sure we are comfortable. The house rules are there for a reason. They may be different with mine, but the rules are there to give order and structure in the house and to keep everyone safe and comfortable. 

Third, it's a quiet time that I get to spend with his mom - something that I never had in my past relationship. 

Fourth, new set of rules means new people in my life. A household extension --- an addition to the family so to speak. Both parents are very sincere and quite caring - forcing us to bring more than enough thermal wear, in case the weather gets weird and it snows in on us. 

Fifth, and most important of all, I'm grateful for my timely recovery. Imagine the horror and terror of being in Beijing at 4 degrees with a flu. It will be a so-near-yet-so-far experience of being almost at The Great Wall but never really reaching there.  

Some may not realize it, but health --- is the greatest equalizer of all. Rich or poor, it doesn't matter if you don't have great health. And yes, I'm grateful, too, for that timely reminder. 

Off we go to Beijing and Shanghai for the rest of the Holy Week. 

Safe travel for me and Skye. 

   

Have A Little Faith - or even more of it

As baduy as it may sound, I formed a book club in the office with some friends who shared the same interest --- since we borrow each other's books and libraries, anyway. 

I just finished reading Mitch Albom's Have A Little Faith yesterday and it's such a timely read as I have rediscovered my faith through The Feast. At the same time, I have a very recent experience of being asked to convert into another religion.

I've been wanting to write about my faith for almost a month now. Admittedly, it's one aspect of my life that I rarely talk about. 

Truth be told, you will never know the importance of your faith until you are asked to relinquish it or believe in something else. I grew up in a Christian country where everyone I knew was Catholic. When I was growing up, it was normal to be Catholic. Until I left for Indonesia and did several projects in Malaysia.  Both countries are predominantly Muslim. 

Whilst I am Catholic, by baptism and by choice, I was raised to be religion-tolerant. For my Mom and my family, it is not about religion but how steadfast your faith is.  At the same time, whilst I am comfortable and confident about my faith and my God, I never even imagined that I will one day be asked to convert to another religion to be with someone. 

I don't believe in converting into another structure of faith because it is the law of one country. Or because I have to follow the man's religion because I am a woman. The second reason --- yes, I definitely threw a fit. Conversion should be done from the depths of your heart. Because you started believing in something that you never used to. 

Tears were welling up in my eyes by just the thought that I cannot believe in my Christ anymore. Although I am church-going, I'm not exactly what you'd call the ideal Catholic. Thus, my surprise with the impact of  what's being asked from me. 

I cannot stop believing in my Christ. My faith is the one I held on to in the darkest hours of my life. I believed in my salvation because I believed in Christ. 

And so it is. It is true. You will never know the importance of your faith until you are asked to give it up. 

Mitch Albom, the Reb. They're both right. Different faiths can walk side by side. 

And that is what we decided to do. We both believe in God.  We just have different religions. 

While Skye will allow me to go to my church still, I will honor his fasting month and make sure he eats before the sun rises. I will make sure there is food on the table upon buka puasa.We will raise our children to be religion-tolerant but at the same time to have faith and believe in God. 

Faith. Faiths can walk side by side. May he and I be the testament to that.

Maligalig versus Masigasig

Doon na ako sa pangalawa. =)

Code of honor

A man of his word is a man of honor. 

Thank you. 

For being one of the few walking the face of the planet. 

Salamat sa paninindigan at pagmamahal mo. 

It never ends

I'm at the Miascor airport lounge waiting for boarding. Thank God for lounge memberships and Citibank perks. I CANNOT STAND NAIA TERMINAL 1. 

I remembered what Big said the first time we met --- it's the worst airport in the world. 

But I'm digressing. 

Initially, I wanted to start reading the newly assigned book from my SWATTS book club. I eagerly got myself a cabernet sauvignon so I can sit back, relax, sip my wine and read through my Kindle. 

But no. Barely 5 minutes on the couch, my phone started ringing. I had to be in a series of phone calls  

with my boss and my leads to firefight some issues in the office. 

I had no choice but to turn off my Kindle and open my dear reliable lappy. 

Work. It never ends. 

Paalis ka na lang para magbakasyon ng ilang araw, hahabulin ka pa. 

At the same time, while this may sound like a rant to others, it's actually quite the contrary. 

I love my job. I love work. It's my vocation. I like the adrenaline rush. It gives me my sense of purpose. 

Sadistic as it may sound, hahanap-hanapin ko ang panic mode at habulan if I am on vacation for far too long. It's just how I'm hard-wired to be. 

But for now --- let me take this moment to chill a little bit. 

Off to KL for a couple of days to celebrate Chinese New Year and VDay with Skye. 

It's one of those very rare moments when I don't want work to come running after me --- even just for a couple of days. 

We do deserve the time to be together and just be. 

Closing lappy in a little bit. 

Coding day --- all over again

Azlan finally got his plates. Whilst Zara is coding on a Friday, I deliberately asked for Azlan to be coded on Mondays. 

7 years of coding on a Friday was tough --- Thursday nights are the usual spur-of-the-moment-let's-hit-the-club day. And Fridays...you don't want to be in the office still at 7pm on a Friday!  

I was absolved from coding for 5 months since I had to wait for my new car plates for that long. No waking up at 5am just to get to the office before 7. Aaah...bliss. 

Until today. 

I missed it though. Call me a sadist, but I did enjoy going to the office early. No people, no noise. It's just pure, unadulterated silence. 

On coding days, I get my silent moments in the office and I get to write sans the distraction. Very, very rare moments. 

So here I am. Back to the coding grind. It has it perks because it is God's gift of silence for me --- because I need to write. I need some space. I need my silence. Very simple guilty pleasures for me. 

Grateful. Very grateful for the gift of good mornings and introspection. 

Am I with the right partner?

Hmmm...quite a good read.

AM I WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

Ngarag.com

2 weeks of non-stop workaholic mode. 

Not self-inflicted. It is what's required to get the work done. 

Quotang-quota! 

I can't wait for the weekend! 

PA

I spent a big bulk of my morning and my lunch time making phone calls to fix my personal admin work: 

1. Schedule of payments for my Sofia condo and parking 
2. Credit card payments 
3. Schedule of payments for my investments and mutual funds 
4. My orders and buying schedule for LF Manila 
5. My lunch and dinners with friends

And the list goes on and on and on...

I can't help but think : I badly need a personal assistant to calendar my personal activities.

I do have an admin-secretary in the office but I definitely want to separate my personal state of affairs and my other business. 

Whew. I'm actually seriously considering it.

Wish ko lang. 

Libre namang mangarap.  

Memories

R.

I thought about you yesterday and a veil of sadness wrapped around me. 

I was just wondering how you are --- and if what you thought about who I am is true.

In moments of self doubt, I do think about the things that you said about me.

At the same time, I'm wondering if your world is better now than it was when we were together. I sincerely hope that it is. Otherwise, the sacrifice of letting you go has failed.

I wish you well, Old Friend. Everyday, as always. 

Love,
A.   

On friendship and disappointment

It is much harder and more painful when it's a friend who disappointed you. 

Especially when there's work involved. 

Friend, I do want to save you. 

But I can only do so much. You do need to save yourself. 

Pagod.com

Tuesday...and already tired!!! 

Stressaka emotera.

Game na!  

Gratitude

This week, I'm grateful for a lot of things.

Not in its order of importance, I'm grateful for:

1. Some desk time. 
2. Me time.
3. My new Kindle Paperwhite. 
4. Being able to finish reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.
5. Friends. Old and new. 
6. Time to work out. 
7. Healthy, organic food. 
8. Skye. 
9. His penchant for planning ahead. 
10. His corny but cute rhymes. 
11. My Mom. 
12. My Dad. And his coming around.
13. Abbygale. 
14. My own parking in the office --- because it's soooo hard to get one. 
15. My best friends. 
16. Being able to catch up with Ian.
17. Being able to convince him to get back into the circulation.
18. Coffee. 
19. Hot chocolate. 
20. My cozy apartment.
21. My cupboard and ref filled with so much food from Christmas hampers. 
22. Good health.
23. Unexpected windfall.
24. Reliable team members. 
25. My efficient admin assistant. 

What a blessed life. :-)

Wanderlust with Skye

My tickets for Chinese New Year celebration have been booked. 

I'm all set for the Holy Week holiday as well. 

For a change. 

Hmmm...I can get used to this. It's nice to just get the tickets in my Inbox for printing. Dang, we even have a Dropbox folder for all our plane tickets. 

Thanks for planning ahead. I'll make it up by researching on the itinerary.  

Miracle worker

It's hard to be a miracle worker sometimes. Frustrating even.

When you get things done and when you're too reliable, the reward is actually more workload. 

Apart from that, when things fall apart, you're expected to fix in superheroic time. 

Whew. 

First week of January and there's no warm up.

Bring. it. on! 

Kindle Paperwhite...finally!

What April wants, April gets. :-) 

Skye must be rejoicing. 

More reading means less socials for me. Hahaha.