Sunny day, everything’s A-Okaaaaay (I wish)

Yeah, I really wish I can write something good and happy here. After another month-long hiatus – of course I want to post something nice!

There were loads, like an early summer outing in Cebu, B’s 2-week break, the end of my finals, to name a few. But there are several turn-of-events that toppled whatever happy moments I’d like to think about.

Generally, I’ve been a very positive person. But with these, my spirits couldn’t help but feel so down and out:

1. Sick. A day before my Malapascua trip, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning, shivering, feeling very cold despite my being tucked under thick sheets of B’s favorite comforter. My mouth was dry, my throat painful. I caught the flu. I tried to go to work but even before lunch time, I was already shaking uncontrollably because it was too cold. Damn it.

Our friends left for Malapascua. B and I decided to delay our flight a day later.
I went back to work this Monday but by mid-afternoon, my eyes were blood-shut. Yes. I have sore eyes. Wonderful. What a good package deal of all forms of summer sickness.

2. The heartbreaking news. Before midnight last night, I was surprised to receive a phone call from Gucci. We have not spoken for more than a year, after my fateful break-up with The X.

When I answered the phone, I couldn’t even believe that it was him. I asked what was
wrong. His voice quivered.

“It’s Ariel.”

And then a long pause with several muffled sniffs and sobs. I had to repeatedly ask what was wrong before he gave it to me.

He was diagnosed today to have leukemia.

Please. Someone tell me this is all a joke.

Gemma was right. Where was the punchline?

Until now I am waiting for one – that all this is an ugly prank, a bad joke that both The X and Gucci concocted. I’d rather be angry at both of them for pulling this one off rather than feel all this hurt right now.

I feel both very repressed and depressed. Reality bites. And it bites really hard. We are no longer as young and as immortal as we thought and felt we were. Drunken nights, all the booze and the cigs – are catching up.

And what else would break me more – but the thought and the fact that I might lose one of the people who made a significant mark in my life.

Please give me something to smile about.