3 in a row

3rd straight day that I've been going home really late. 

I need to finish 8 3D role profiles tonight. 

It's 8:43pm. I'm giving myself until 10pm to head out and at least keep my sanity.

Come to think of it, this is probably what I need. 

The week actually got better.

I can't wait for the weekend! 

Pwedeng aminin?

I'm not okay tonight. 

It took me more than half an hour to bring myself to the gym. I was biting my lip until I think I tasted blood. I was tearing up but took a deep breath. 

I ran. I ran and ran and ran --- like I can run away from whatever is gnawing at me tonight. 

After showering, I sprawled on my bed wrapped in my towels. I didn't feel like moving. I didn't feel like doing anything tonight. 

And I'm too proud, too hurt to talk about it. 

Gusto ko lang aminin. Just for tonight. 

I'm not okay. 

And I know, like whenever I say it, this too shall pass. 

But just for tonight, if only for a moment, I want to acknowledge how broken I am. 

Sleep, or the lack thereof

Being sleepless on the 1st of October is probably a premonition of things to come this entire month. 

September-October is budget season for us --- 'been crunching opex-capex numbers ever since I got to the office today. No time to buy my own lunch and snacks, probably to the chagrin of my admin assistant who kept running to and fro. 'Really sorry about that.

Stressed --- super stressed. Although I had enough sleep from last night, I feel so exhausted today. 

Let me attempt to go to the gym and clear my head. There are way too many thoughts on my mind --- trains of thought simultaneously running amuck.