Kabog ng dibdib

Pagdating sa career at karir, hindi talaga puwedeng kalahati lamang ng pagkatao ang nakalaan.

Ewan ko, pero kung sa akin lang, hindi ko kaya na hindi ibigay ang lahat pagdating sa trabaho at pag-ibig. Kailangan buong puso at kaluluwa ang itinataya.

Kahapon, meron na naman akong BIG THING.

Sa sobrang tensyon sa paghihintay at paghahanda, nilagyan ko pa ng sweetener ang matamis na talagang café mocha.

Good luck – parang magkakaroon ako ng instant diabetes sa tamis ng kape. At huwag ka, umorder ako ng dalawang café mocha. Eh di lalong dumagundong ang dibdib ko sa nerbyos.

Para na ring gusto kong bigyan ang sarili ko ng atake de corazon.

Masaya. Mabuti at magaling ang resulta ng aking paghihintay at pagpupuyat.

Hindi talaga ako pwedeng half-baked. Nakukuha ko lang ang gusto ko kapag buo ang puso at isipan sa pagbibigay.

Never settle for mediocrity talaga.

So tama ako all along.

Sobrang ang kabog ng dibdib ko.

Pero sa naging resulta, sulit ang lahat.

Masaya ang pagbubukas ng weekend.

When you know you deserve it – ask.

Off to better and happier topics…

When I am not busy social climbing and trying to find a rich husband who will feed and clothe me for the rest of my life, I’m actually one of the lucky few who has a day job (which inevitably extends through the night in most days) that I truly like.

The field of expertise I chose is something very new, albeit also quite difficult to break in a region where it is not exhaustively practiced.

The past several weeks were spent drafting our annual performance evaluations. I rated my one-downs higher than what I received – they deserve it. My team is SPECTACULAR. The mix of people is great and everyone is hardworking.

We managed to reach most of last year’s targets. However, given the economic recession, we were forced to temporarily halt some projects that should have made it.

Pwede kaya itong i-consider na force majeure? Hahaha. Unfortunately not.

My rating was definitely not bad, considering last year’s economic milieu, I think this is the highest rating I have earned, by far. I was already happy with my TOR scores but I felt that in some of the behavioral and leadership scores, both my colleague and I deserved an itsy bitsy higher rating.

Aside from the team’s official cheerleaders, AM and I managed to roll out operations sans the support of my existing vendors in the first half of the year.

Kandakuba na kami delivering all the prototypes and wireframes.

Normally, I just print and sign my evaluation papers. This time, I somehow felt that I needed to justify the behavioral scores to be a notch higher.

I e-mailed my boss about it and made a case as to why I should get higher, citing of course that AM should get higher, too.

I sent my email before lunch time so I was actually antsy the whole time I was eating with friends. It’s not a normal practice to appeal for a re-eval. Hindi ko naubos yung food sa sobrang kabog ng dibdib.

When I got to my desk, I immediately checked mail. Boss raised the scores 2 notches above! Saya! Although the total score was not significantly affected by the increase, I was happy to still get higher.

Perhaps, what made me feel more fulfilled was I took it upon myself to ask for what I think I deserve – which I normally don’t do. There were some evaluation periods that I felt I deserved a higher rating but kept mum about it. I’m happier to have also justified my colleague’s higher scores with me.

Whether or not we get a raise is a different story, but with or without it, I’m just happy with the outcome.

To my team, thanks for being the great and efficient people that you are. We managed to get more visibility and reach more milestones because of you guys.

Game ulit this year!

It probably hurts all the more...

...to know that this is HOW MUCH I am in love with this guy.

Yes.

I know it really sucks to know that.

It sucked for me too, initially.

So...

Us or not: doesn't matter and doesn't make a difference.

You don't have to be with someone to fall in love with a person.

Conversely, you can be with a person and not be in love.

P.S.

The first IP address is in Metro Manila. I know the coordinates.

Two days after, the next IP address of the same person is in Hong Kong.

I also got the ISPs.

Tapping fingers...

Hanep sa fluidity - Manila on Monday, Hong Kong on Wednesday.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Gem, care to make a wild guess?

Huling patol

Okay... huling statements.

Huling patol na din.

First of all... why are you making a big dill about one small Philip Stein watch?
Magwala ka kung Patek yan or Rolex.

If I have those two? Then you tell me if you really know.

Happy for you that you have 2 Steins.

I would recommend an IWC, too, or you can also claim you have one already?

You are obviously a frienemy who hates enough to make patol a personal blog.

Chikatime, isdatchu?

Pretensions...

No, I don't have any.

When I'm not busy social climbing, the way you put it, I do have a day job, darling.

I am a humble breadwinner of a middle class family.

Yes, I can afford to buy a Philip Stein on my own... even those with diamonds.

But I prefer the laidback style for jeans day.

You are threatening me that this is the last material piece that I would ever get from R.?

So what are you saying? That you will use your powers to break us up?

Well, well, well...

... tapping fingers...

Apparently, huli ka na sa balita.

HAHAHA.

You are obviously not in the loop, bebeh.

You might think or claim you know me, but you actually don't.

You may have known me in the past but it doesn't give you credit to judge me.

Yes - I know that you know me. Your statements were loaded and only people who "know" me will point reference to "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."

Yun pa lang dead giveaway na.

Plus the fact that if you know me, you may have forgotten that I am a little bit knowledgeable about computers.

So I have already located where you are, Big Sister.

Kahit mag-triple ka pa ng masking ng IP address mo - kaya kong kalkalin kung nasan ka.

Or perhaps in your very jaded sense of the world, you just cannot believe that great love can actually exist --- sans the considerations for money.

Remember... kung sino ang nakaisip, siya ang gumagawa.

I am not simple.

That I know.

I love luxury.

I LOOOOVE luxury.

That I know, too.

So does my friends.

Because I bust my ass for things and the blings that I want for myself.

I do not rob. I do not steal.

And I will NEVER trade love for money.

That is your biggest mistake.

That is the most incorrect assumption.

Pity the fool? You don't have to.

But I have to admit some very smart girls can be foolish when falling in love, sometimes.

Use me, accuse me.

I don't give a flying fuck.

But NEVER drag his name in this.

NEVER drag the one I love in a mess.

I have been through hell and back for this man.

And ONLY this man.

If you think I am staying with him for money --- then that's already a dead giveaway.

You are a frienemy.

You know what I mean.

Because my friends know I have no reason for staying... but I did.

I was full to the brim.

But I hell did.

If I am scared to lose him now because the family will allegedly not tolerate it?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

We have issues far greater than that.

You have no fucking idea what I have been through to fight for him.

Listen... and listen closely...

You cannot threaten me that I will lose him.

Because I already did.

Several painful times -- and I already lost count how many times this happened.

If you really know me, then you should already know this.

I've already caught several bullets for this man.

That reality alone will suffice.

And that is the reality that both he and I know.

So you cannot threaten me with that and expect na manginig ako sa takot.

You cannot make me fall on my knees for something or someone I already lost.

You don't know what I've been through.

So stop.

Because you don't know what you're talking about.

If you do, you should also know that R. is too smart to fall for a ploy like this. He is a man of honor and a man with a generous heart...

But you can never take advantage of him.

And you can never try to influence what he thinks.

None of us can.

On social climbing and getting what you want

Someone replied to my most recent post on getting the Philip Stein watch.

Take note --- sabi nga naman ni Susan Roces --- not once, but twice!

[Segue: I love quoting that, by the way.]

The poser, este, poster, is accusing me of being a social climber for having a boyfriend who showers me THE gifts.

Oh well.

Wala akong masabi.

I am probably THAT annoying to irritate someone... enough to react to my post.

Fame or infamy - same, same.

Define social climber nga.

According to Wikipedia, and I quote: "A social climber is someone who seeks social prominence by obsequious behavior. Some define it as a parvenu, one who has suddenly risen to a higher economic status but has not gained social acceptance of others in that class."

It's akin to being nouveau rich, isn't it?

Unfortunately for me, I am not rich yet. I wish I was.

So yes - if you can define someone who gets what she wants and is showered with love as a social climber...

...then yes, I am definitely one.

As compared to a bitter YOU who will post something so vile and jealous... I would rather...

... be Me!

Darling, you are so green with envy.

People who take the time out to post something as angry is just as jealous. If I stepped on your toes - then stop reading the blog, bebeh.

So you, IP 58.69.198... unless you accessed in an Internet cafe' - I'm watching you.

And...this is the one and only time I will glorify your existence and such hate.

Smile!

And the comments section remains to be open. No moderation mode ito.

Si Chuvaness nga got a new Louis Vuitton bag from the hubby, eh. I'm so inggit - although I didn't like the style of the LV bag. But I'm happy for her.

Sana ganon ka na lang din. Maging masaya ka na lang para sa iba.

Spread the love. ;)

Happy, happy, joy, joy

This weekend, I got my Philip Stein watch with red patent straps.

Woohooooo!!!

It’s my super mega early V-day gift.

Haaaallelujah!

We were running errands at the mall and looking for gifts for friends with new houses and apartments. In the middle of the chaos, we went inside Lucerne. R. said we’re just going to check out the new styles and if the Philip Stein watches are cheaper here than in Hong Kong.

We found my uber love with red patent straps and without batting an eyelash, he told the saleslady to wrap and charge.

Sweetness.

Sana ganon palagi.

Although the gifts are most welcome, what’s more important to me are the blissful, peaceful, happy weekends together.

Thank you, R.

Eyeloveit.

[Picture above is the actual Philip Stein model that I got. I realized, as per R.'s suggestion that black dial looks better with red patent straps.]