Living life. I mean really living it.

I cannot live without my to-do list. As in my previous entry, it's part of my OCD. I get disoriented if I don't have a tangible list as reference of what I need to do. 

And whenever I don't accomplish as much in my list, I get really frustrated and annoyed at myself. I know. Throw me in the loony bin. 

This morning, my 10-12 meeting was moved to next week. As I was clamoring for my to-do list again, I realized I was missing out on my social obligations. Even that is on my list. 

Phone calls for best friends. Birthday greetings. Scheduling lunches and dinners for the long weekend. 

In the midst of my Facebook greetings and phone calls for friends, I realized how I can just lose my humanity running after my work targets and the long list I have on my Evernote. 

Despite my claim that it's my OCD in full effect that I have to put everything in my to-do list, I felt that I'm dehumanizing the aspect of my personal and social life by just relegating them as items to check on a list. I even have a Project Social label on it.

Fock. When did I ever get so rigid and ever-so structured that I run after accomplishing my list but missing out on the happiness that it brings me to talk to the people who really matter? 

I don't think I can get rid of my list. It will throw me off the wall. But today, I decided to enjoy the process. Tick off the check boxes but enjoy every moment. Every conversation. Every accomplishment. 

Today, I will just be. =) 

  

Crossroad, yet again

Crossroads have a way of teaching you life's important lessons. 

At least in my case, it's one of the most important stages where the Universe compels me to take action. 

So here I am again, at yet another crossroad in my career. It's a good one, though. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be given so many choices and opportunities. I'm not even deliberately looking, but the opportunities just come knocking. 

How can I not be grateful? 

If I go for one career opportunity, I will go back to the lion's den once again. I will again leave my family behind to explore opportunities. 

This time, though, I am not alone anymore. 

But if I don't go, I feel like I'm starting to become complacent already. 
Complacency has never been in my vocabulary. So has it permeated my life as of late?  I refuse to believe so. 

I'm struggling to make a decision. Normally, I stall when this happens. So many things to consider, not enough time. 

I'm asking the Universe to again conspire in my favor for me to be enlightened and to make the right decision - for me and for everyone I love.

The roller coaster ride...

...has just begun. 

Here we go.