"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

- Oprah Winfrey

Revisiting

We used to write a lot of letters
Seven pages is not even enough
The emails would go back and forth
What did I call us?
I likened us to the modern-day version of
Griffin and Sabine

We burnt phone lines
Walked the park together
I chose your cutlery
You asked my take on the
bordeaux glasses you purchased

We bought the wine cooler together
You helped me pick out my pink Zara jacket
I chose your black leather desk mat
We picked up the paintings you had framed

Imagine how we would converse
For hours and hours on end
How we fascinated each other
By stories of our lives

Imagine how much we marveled at our differences
And yet found a lot of common ground

And yet here we are now
Slowly losing the bind that we
used to be fiercely protective of
What is happening?

We are sync
Intellectually
Spiritually
This amazes me and fascinates me
To this very day

Yet here we are now
I feel a huge gulf between us
You have to let me in
And you have to try

I feel nothing
I want to feel hurt
Or sad
Anything
Just to feel something

And I hope when I see you this weekend
I will find myself and the way I feel
Just a few weeks back

Can we just go back to where we left off?
Rekindle
Revive that connection we had
Because we have it
Undoubtedly

Let you and I have a change of heart

Damper

In four days, I will be seeing him again.

Big and I are flying to the islands of Palawan. I already made the payments (which he sent through wire transfer) this morning to my travel agent.

But I am not too excited about it.

Major reasons:

1. He is just being too English. Now I fully comprehend what that really meant. He is being too forty-ish and a man of the world that he is - distant, with the most serious sense of personal space (hell, it feels like there is an entire gulf between us).

2. I am being me - crazily pursuing someone but getting tired when there are hurdles here and there.

I know there is a way to compromise. But how far? And who's supposed to budge?

I am so over the goo-goo eyes phase of being a hapless, hopeless romantic. And should I go back to being one, given that who I'm dating now is a serious pragmatist?

No definite answers, really... so I'm taking Hag's Fag advice: stay put. Test the water. Enjoy the experience.