There's a fine, fine line

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

Purpose

For everything that is happening in my life right now, there must be a purpose. 

1. My engagement with Big was broken.
2. I turned down a contract renewal in Indonesia --- regardless of its 100% salary increase. Yep, you got that right.  
3. I came back to the Philippines.
4. I came back to my previous company --- with a better package and a better post, of course. 
5. I had a recent falling out with Big.
6.  I had another falling out with a friend --- In hindsight I'm actually thinking whether she was really my friend to begin with.
7. My priorities are shifting. There is meaning beyond the long hours at work. 
8. Friends and significant people from all over the world are returning to Manila!

I am definitely pruning my friendship list. Some are intentional, some are circumstantial.  

I'm re-examining my values and what's important to me. I'm beginning to question whether what I'm doing in my life is actually contributing to the betterment of humanity, so to speak.

With every heart ache that I feel, another blessing comes. Is it just me or is this really happening? Or perhaps I learned how to count my blessings for every tear that falls.


God knows I want to do more, fulfill more, achieve more.

And at the end of everything, I want to have more joy in my life.

Purpose.

I sure damn hope that I'm fulfilling mine.

Staycation

Life in Manila --- yep, still adjusting to it. 

Welcome back to your life, April. 

The last 2 days of the long weekend was spent running around like a headless chicken. Errands here and there, meeting friends and being with family --- it never ends.

Yesterday, I had to be at the airport, attend my 3-hour worship with the family, buy Abby's materials for her homework, visit my best friend in Makati Med and make a dent in my reading materials.

CRAAAAAAAZYYYY.

I wanted some quiet ME time today, you know, finish reading Catching Fire in bed while sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows. I need my ME time to keep my sanity. 

BUT I decided that I'd rather go happily crazy spending the day with the family. The whole morning was spent cutting and pasting Abby's homework, stringing new kiddie bracelets for her and teaching her how to play Jenga (oooh, she has a knack for it).

The afternoon was spent at the Shangri-La Hotel for high tea to meet J and catch up again before he goes to the airport. I headed to the car wash after then rushed back to my apartment for the family dinner.  

Whew! 

It doesn't end there --- I have to help them pack up, drive them back then have my time in front of my lappy to do some pre-work for tomorrow. 

To think that I was supposed to meet suppliers today and re-stock on my inventory. 

More than 2 months back in here, but I gotta admit that I'm still getting the hang of things. 

I'm back in my life. Front and center. 

No matter how tiring it gets, I won't trade it in for anything else.