Milestones in my life

Let's put aside my (semi) break-up blues for a while and celebrate some major milestones.

• Usability Week 2007 Conference in Hong Kong - Finally. After 5 years of waiting, I was able to attend Nielsen Norman Group's Usability Conference. What's more, it was held in Hong Kong. Free trip to my second home!
  

• Jakob Nielsen in the flesh - I know, I know. I'm such a major geek. I finally met Jakob Nielsen - the Father of Usability - in person! I have all his major books and in the conference after his workshop, I ran to the podium where he stood, introduced myself, shook his hand and asked him to sign my Usability Engineering book. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from screaming, "I'm such a huge fan!" Geek.
  

This really matters to me. I'm one of the very few professionals in my field in Asia Pacific. This is something worth toasting to.

Happy. :-)

Chronicles of the (semi) breaking up process

Day 1:

Current state

• Couldn't get up in the morning because phone call with him ended at almost 5am.
• I am Garfield-personified. Puffy eyelids and huge eyebags. Ugh. People in the office can't see me like this. Totally ugh.
• Decided to take half a day off.
  
• Migraine girl.
  
• Hung over from the 1 1/2 bottle of red wine I downed last night. Yes, by myself.
  
• The sun. It's hurting my eyes!
• Solitude. I'm on alone-mode right now. To process things on my own. Thanks, Gemma and Celia for offering to be there.
  

Coping mechanism

• Dressed up going to the office. Scoured through my cabinet for my cutest, nicest black and white Zara top, thick black belt, the highest silver sandals I can ever find on my shoe rack.
• Make up, make up, make up.
• Fab hair. Blow dry. Curl. Blow dry.
  
• Last smile in front of the mirror. You go girl! It's just another day.
• For someone who's just broken up, I don't look so bad!
  

Questions in my mind

• Why are we failing?
• What are we not doing right?

Emotional check

• I miss the guy. Sigh.

Foreboding

Not even the end of the month…

…and I already caught a clear glimpse of what’s to come.

At the back of my head, I knew it was a long shot. I was going up against a wall --- no --- a façade as huge as the IFC Tower.

Yet you assured me that we can make it through. Just hang in there. We can make it through.

I knew it was going to be difficult, if not nearly impossible.

But I was hoping against hope that you will surprise me.

I was hoping that you will pull through.

To conquer everything for what we believed is true love.

To reclaim true happiness, eternal glory.

To be resolved to stand up against everyone.

To fight for me.

Yet again, I was disappointed.

I was naïve. Or at least I tried to be.

To give you a chance to prove that we can make it.

I fought for you.

For all it’s worth, I did.

Now I’m just too exhausted to fight back.

What I was fighting for…

…is a lost cause.