Forever Indebted

Same time last week, I was very stressed and angst-ridden, what with my workload in the office. I actually contemplate sometimes if all my hard work is worth it. I sacrifice weekends and vacation leaves just to get things done.

Projects haunt me even when I’m already lining up at the immigration or I am tucked away somewhere in Hong Kong. There are always incessant phone calls, emails and text messages, following up on this and that project.

Thursday --- it hit me.

Several minutes after I put down my laptop, one of the maids called me to tell me that my Grandma – Nanay – was rushed to the hospital. She suffered a stroke during lunch time.

I had a long queue of projects and to-dos --- but I seemed to have forgotten all of them. Screw it.

I literally flew to go to the hospital to make sure she’s alright. My heart was already in my throat. I was driving and I was making phone calls to check if she’s stable, if she’s conscious, if she will be fine. I wanted to hear it --- that it’s nothing. It’s fine. She will be fine.

I made phone calls to the three most important friends in my life. My voice was breaking, but I couldn’t cry. I was frightened and I was hurt. I was guilty, too. I haven’t seen Nanay for the past several weeks.

She stayed in the Acute Stroke Unit for five days before she was sent to a regular room. She’s still there in the hospital right now – more stable but the doctors need to still observe her.

She couldn’t talk. When I talk to her, she only nods or shakes her head to agree or disagree.

But whenever I am there to visit, her face would always light up. She would make the best effort to move herself closer to me. She would hold my hand.

Last night, it was her birthday. I was there when the visiting hours already started. She smiled as she saw me enter the door. I kissed her cheeks and greeted her Happy Birthday.

When I was telling her stories about what happened to me the entire day, tears were rolling down her cheeks.

She already wants to go home. I know she worries about me a lot. And I know she is very concerned that I will be financially burdened with the hospital bills since I am the one supporting both her and Mom.

I told her not to worry about anything. I will find a way. I will take good care of her. I will always be there.

There are people in your life that you will do just about anything for them. To me, Nanay is one of them.

I guess, this is true love for me. Romantic love has left and failed me several times.

But not this one. And I will be eternally grateful to her.