Living life. I mean really living it.

I cannot live without my to-do list. As in my previous entry, it's part of my OCD. I get disoriented if I don't have a tangible list as reference of what I need to do. 

And whenever I don't accomplish as much in my list, I get really frustrated and annoyed at myself. I know. Throw me in the loony bin. 

This morning, my 10-12 meeting was moved to next week. As I was clamoring for my to-do list again, I realized I was missing out on my social obligations. Even that is on my list. 

Phone calls for best friends. Birthday greetings. Scheduling lunches and dinners for the long weekend. 

In the midst of my Facebook greetings and phone calls for friends, I realized how I can just lose my humanity running after my work targets and the long list I have on my Evernote. 

Despite my claim that it's my OCD in full effect that I have to put everything in my to-do list, I felt that I'm dehumanizing the aspect of my personal and social life by just relegating them as items to check on a list. I even have a Project Social label on it.

Fock. When did I ever get so rigid and ever-so structured that I run after accomplishing my list but missing out on the happiness that it brings me to talk to the people who really matter? 

I don't think I can get rid of my list. It will throw me off the wall. But today, I decided to enjoy the process. Tick off the check boxes but enjoy every moment. Every conversation. Every accomplishment. 

Today, I will just be. =)