The year that was and the year ahead

The year 2003 is a combination of good and difficult times for me. Since it’s the 30th of December today, this is probably my last entry for the year. I intend to catch up on sleep tomorrow and cook for the family.

Strolling down memory lane, these are the landmarks of my entire 2003:

Biggest, most piercing heartaches
1. The OHSI redundancy and the break-up of the Web team
2. The Buddy left for the States and the need to accept that I just had to let go

Giant leaps
1. A new apartment
2. A new job and my career shift from IT to retail, from usability to business development

Biggest scare and greatest fears realized
1. The fear of being in-between jobs and not being able to find one just in time
2. That I may not be able to get out of one vicious cycle of my life
3. That I may not be the marrying type

Bravest things I’ve done
1. Moved out of my parents’ house right in the middle of OHSI’s redundancy/retrenchment
2. Laid all my cards out; allowed myself to become absolutely vulnerable to a friend by confessing my thoughts and feelings

Most coward thing I’ve done
* Failed to take the risk with The Buddy to consider a relationship beyond friendship just because I wasn’t sure it’s going to work out, because I was too afraid to lose the friendship and because I like my comfort zone.

Most unfair thing I’ve done to someone
* Shortchange The Boyfriend by feeling deeply for someone else

Most stupid and probably my biggest mistake
* Went out with someone I wasn’t supposed to go out with

Most flattering and heartwarming experience
1. To find out my feelings are reciprocated
2. To know that my former teammates appreciated what I’ve done for the company

Most stable and most comforting part of my life
1. The Boyfriend - despite my mistakes and my foolishness
2. My family

For the coming year, I am hoping that I will do better and become a more grounded person with a more defined character.

Let’s wait and see. 365 days can just fly by so fast.

Happy New Year, guys!