Answered what-ifs

When things have been confirmed, what next?

Now that my questions have been answered, it actually lead to more questions.

Sometimes when I feel angsty and frustrated that I cannot do anything about things and I cannot control the circumstances, I would wish that I never knew or never felt it.

Or that I should have never seen him again.

But I know as well that I'm lying.

Despite the sadness that it brought me - with the acceptance that feelings can never be enough to risk, to continue, or to constantly have the person with you - I feel relieved that I now know.

And grateful that I had the chance to find out.

Grateful, that though I never told him, I made him feel what is.