Back in the game!

I am sooo back and in my element once again.

After 2 weeks of emotional roller coaster, I finally got nauseous. Actually, I got so sick of myself being too sappy, crying over the most trivial things. It was becoming too icky so I managed to rescue myself just in time.

Those 2 weeks were very miserable. I missed my team, I was adjusting to my new apartment, I was doing all the household chores, I was adjusting to my new schedule, new office and new officemates. Add to that the anxiety of The Buddy issue. I felt overwhelmed. Everything was just too much.

So I allowed myself to succumb to depression. I would wake up at around 11, watch MTV or cartoons then ransack my food bin at past 12. I would stare blankly in front of my TV set or cry over Ally Mc Beal (which I used to hate) or any sentimental music I hear. I would go to work at around 2pm. After work, the team goes to El Pueblo for a night cap. As for me, I'd watch TV until I fall asleep. By that time, its already 3am.

I know. Spell pathetic for me.

So there. Since I'm really not the sulking type, my depression made me feel more depressed.

Yesterday, I realized that nothing is going to happen if I stretch this any further. I made peace with myself and decided to go on living.

I will get the hang of my new work, new team. The Web will always be my friends. As for The Buddy - if we are friends, we will get through this and just laugh at what happened - 10-20 years from now. If we don't make it through this time, then I guess I have to admit that it was just something superficial. I still have an army of friends.

As for my house - why the hell am I complaining? I love it. It's my own. MINE!

Friends were there to tide me over the crisis. I can never thank them enough. They were right. Life is too short. I shouldn't worry my life away. I've worked so hard to be a straight A student and now that I am almost graduating, it is a blatant self-deprecation for me to throw everything away.

Thank you, tita Sylvia and Eric - my 2 very generous classmates and school buddies. You have both been wonderful.

Thank you, Tran. I thought of you when all this was happening. Someday, I will have the kind of maturity you have to fend off distractions.

Thank you, Mica, V and Carissa. For not judging me. For giving me strength. For believing that I will get through this. For making me feel it's okay to admit it.

Thank you, Celiah. For making me feel I am not alone in the battle.

Thanks to the Best Friend. For not failing me. Ever.

Thank you, Mom - for keeping the faith.

Thank you, Ariel - for the promise of catching me when I fall. For making me believe in true love.

Thank God, for friends. For all of this.