Mail Undeliverable: A Year of the Unspoken

I wrote this for him a few months back - I can't remember if it was last year. I'm not sure if I sent it... or if he remembers I did.

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A plethora of emotions all at the same time.

Passion. Love. Happiness. Ecstasy.

Hatred. Remorse. Anguish. Pain.

All for one and only one person.

And perhaps, this dichotomy is what actually draws us together.

Both conflict and similarities make up this strong connection, this uncanny bond that you and I have. That you and I share.

I am drawn to you yet I am appalled by the attraction.

I want to let go, but the more I try to, the more I am coveted.

What brings writhing pain is the reality that the present doesn’t allow us to be together.

You think of me as juvenile, but I am beyond the years I have lived.

Wide-eyed and hopeful, yet also cynical and cautious.

It is uncertain if I believe in forever and ever. Or fairy tale endings.

I always thought that living happily ever after is an evasive and obscure conclusion that happens only in books of children ages 3 until 7.

I don’t know if someone like you does, too.

But if in case you do, may I ask you?

What are you doing for the rest of your life? Do you believe in sharing it with someone?

If and when the rest of your life begins,

Will you find me?