Goodbye, Big

I’m so done with the Carrie stint.

After more than four years, I’m done.

It’s one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever done in this lifetime.

It’s also one of the bravest.

I know not everyone can walk away from a relationship that is no longer working but has become a comfort zone. The thing is, he is not just a comfort zone to me.

He is the love of my life.

When people used to ask me who the love of my life is, I fumble in the attempt to give a name. After a string of relationships, how can I not have one?

Yesterday, I walked away from the love of my life.

I’m grateful that I was given the chance to have met The One, to have experienced to fall in love with The One.

But whoever said that you will end up with The One is a fool. No such rule is written.

Because The One also broke my heart into a million pieces. I’m not even sure if I can ever pick them all up and glue or sew the pieces together one by one. I’m not sure if I can ever fall that madly, deeply in love again.

But I’m walking away.

I don’t want to be kept at an arm’s length anymore.

Goodbye, Big.

It was a mélange of pure bliss, happiness, tears and pain.

You were worth it.

But I’m done fighting.

It’s my turn to be fought for.