My personal space

This blog.

It has been in existence since 2002.

Prior to this was another one which I started in 2000.

I have been writing and sharing my thoughts, feelings, dementia and neurosis online for the past 5 years now.

I enjoy lazy Saturday afternoons in my apartment, blogging about things both trivial and otherwise, while sipping a glass of my favorite French wine.

I love it more, when I try to space out at work and waste a wee bit of company time by writing updates and publishing posts.

Initially, it was only shared to very, very close friends. The ones in ABS, fellow blog-kadas. Best friends. The “circle of trust” only grew when other bloggers stumbled upon this and started including me in their “Blog-Worthy.” And when fellow bloggers started posting messages and writing me emails.

Thank you, people. I am very honored.

This space means a lot to me. It is my own.

I was willing to share it with the better friends in the bunch, because I trust them. I shared it with strangers, because anonymity gave me comfort. And a twisted sense of security.

This blog has been a witness to the people who came in my life and those who have gone. This is my sounding board for all the highs I felt, and the lows I experienced.

Past, failed relationships. Lost friendships, rediscovered ones.

But this was NEVER shared to lovers and loves – past, present and future.

I always felt that this was one of the very few avenues where I can share how I think and feel about things- uncut, unplugged. This is where I can admit that I am happy, I am hurt, I cheated, I was cheated on – unabashedly, unapologetically.

This is my own definition of freedom of speech and expression – where I will not be castigated.

My thoughts are my own. They shouldn’t be taken against me.

But B found it.

Call me stupid, but I actually had a hand in it.

B knows I write. And that I have been maintaining this. I never really told her where or how to find it.

But I left clues. Not very easy ones, but breadcrumb trails to find it.

And she did.

Thanks or no thanks to Yahoo.

Somehow, within my recesses, I know I wanted her to do so. I have never done this before – to actually open myself and be nearly transparent.

Right now, I am. Or at least, I’m trying to.

Perhaps this is a residue of my hang-ups – to want to do things better this time. To really share my life. To share me.

So B ---

Things may shock and awe you – even frighten you a bit.

This is me. My thoughts.

I still want it to be the same. Real. Uncensored.

And it will be.

I wouldn’t have allowed you to see if I knew you couldn’t handle it.

Welcome to my space.