River welling

This weekend, at 2am, I burst into tears.

I sobbed for a good one hour, yet I didn't know exactly what I was lamenting about.

The death of my grandmother? Or my sticky circumstance?

Or perhaps both.

I am that confused.

Until now, that's how I feel.

Confused.

Miserable because Nanay is gone.

Angry because of my circumstance and his choice of (non)action.

I guess it's cheese, wine, DVDs and a lot of moping and crying tonight.

I probably need a very good one to let it all out.

Can people do that? Consume themselves crying -- just one night of sob fest -- and the morning after, things are fine again.

Better.

Sheesh.

Where is that security blanket just when you need it the most?