Lieu de refuge

In difficult moments, I find comfort in life's simple pleasures.

I don't want to stop being grateful.

I don't regret the best friends that I kept... and the ones that I lost.
They were kept and lost for good reasons.

Very simple things give me simple joys as of late, but I do cherish them.

I'm glad I met Emy and Aileen. The superficial conversations about our design work make me forget - no matter how temporary.

It is not schadenfreude but I'm comforted that someone truly and sincerely understands what I'm going through. Arlene may not know everything and I may not know all the details on her end, too, but it's a relief that someone is with me in the process.

Kyle lets me fulfill my nurturing instincts. I don't ever regret getting him and spending so much for him to recover.

I'm glad Ate Cita is there to sincerely look after me and hand me the tissue when I cry, pretending that it's because of Ally McBeal or Lipstick Jungle reruns.

My mother is my cheerleader.

This will be another long, arduous journey.

If I can't get away from it, I might as well embrace what is bound to happen.

But thank you.

Thank you for the momentary recluse.

Thank you for the inner circle who may not know why, how, what I'm going through - who respects the privacy I requested for yet swore an oath of allegiance to be there.

Thank you.

You are my crutch.

Back into Palm’s hands

Had a wonderful weekend.

It was Ian’s birthday last July 8 and by default, we partied in his house on Saturday night. It’s an effort not to get sloshed when I’m celebrating with high school friends. Going home at 3:30 am –-- is early.

While Kyle hovered around me and treaded on the keyboard of my notebook in his attempt to seek attention, I was diligently configuring my favorite handset.

What can I say? I’m a Palm freak. Two weeks with the HTC TouchPro and I just had to give it up. There were too many user experience errors because the TouchFlo 3D interface hangs and lags behind the inputted actions.

I like phones with great touchscreen that merge the functions of telephony and organization. I like the original Palm OS – with its notes and to-dos apps.

It’s quite disappointing that Palm has failed to come up with great phones in the past 2 years. Thus, the greatest anticipation for the Palm Pre. I’m not happy with the Windows OS, either, so when Jenelyn found the Palm Treo Centro in one of the cabinets where we kept our handsets – I was ecstatic!

I’m lovin’, lovin’, lovin’ it.

I’m still watching out for the Pre, though. I can’t wait to get my hands on the new Palm Pre! Too bad they started with the CDMA handset first.

Palm Pre, come to Momma!

Time

… is what I don’t have enough of lately.

I’ve been sleeping at 2am – the earliest – the past few nights and waking up at 6:30 am to go to work. I seriously wish there are 27 hours in a given day.

I have so much on my plate – blame it on nobody else but moi.

Idle time is something that I don’t like. I can’t keep steady. If it is even remotely possible to forego sleep, I would because sleeping is like a waste of time for me. I wish I can just blink and recharge in that minuscule amount of time.

It’s our mid-year evaluation, I’m doing RFI with my international vendors and I’m creating new training modules.

On top of that, I have to create several jewelry design studies for my class, notwithstanding all the preps that I need to do for my advance design class that will start next week!

Super good luck to me!

I’ve prepared several design studies that I keep lying around on my desk. Friends just keep snitching them! Some would even literally filch the necklace on my neck!

So after several nights of toiling and erudition, I still have zilch. Admittedly, it is a happy problem since girlfriends buy my stuff and I have not even prepared an entire collection!

Thank you, thank you – for supporting my passion and creative outlet. Please continue to support me once my consignments are out there already, because by that time, I need a steady base of clients!

I have gazillion of things on my to-do list that I wish I have time to do:

1. Read all the books that I got from Powerbooks. Happy that I finally got Rachel Zoe’s book. Anyone who has Nina Garcia’s?

2. Redesign my office cubicle so I can integrate my atalyer stationeries and wallpaper.

3. Open my new iTouch, jailbreak it and re-configure. Thank you, R., for being thoughtful and giving me a new mp3 player when you found out that my old one is going bonkers already. You didn’t have to.


4. Set my new pink alarm clock with time projector on the ceiling. This is another toy given by R. It’s really the epitome of geekness. I like!

5. Create more costume jewelry design studies and complete a collection. This one, I really gotta do. And I gotta do fast!

6. Spend more time with my girlfriends and my besties. Coffee sessions squeezed in between a heavy workload ain’t enough.

7. Spend more playtime with my Kyle. I need to schedule him for neutering very soon, but before that, I really want to play with him and sleep beside him more often.

8. Spend more quiet moments with R. We have a lot of catching up to do, a lot of things to talk about. Actually, there’s no need for a reason. I just really need to spend more time with him.

That is not even 1/8 of the list!

See… I need time. More time.

And it’s not helping that I’m still blogging now!

Off to hopefully tick off some boxes in my to-do list… or not.

Happy weekend

‘Spent the weekend full-scale with Kyle, my Mom and my yaya Ate Cita.

Steady, wonderful, happy weekend.

Kyle has grown so much.

I also like being at home with ate Cita. When she’s at my apartment, I am a pampered princess. Her love for me is divine and unconditional. That’s why I love her, too!

I’m glad I have a new Sunday dinner routine with my Mom. After Sunday mass, I take her to new restaurants she hasn’t tried before. 3 Sundays in a row now.

Loving, loving, loving the weekend.

Thank you, God – for contentment.

Despite all my plans and all the gazillion things I’d like to do, thank you for creating a grateful, appreciative child in me.

Thank you for teaching me how to be happy and content with the gifts that I currently have.

Thank God for happy weekends.

My cutiepie schnoocums

(Second to R., that is.)

Another cheesy entry - I just can't help but share the most recent photos of Kyle.

Arlene - eto na hinihintay mo. Sorry it took some time. I waited for Kyle to grow up some more.

He's just most adorable.

Kyle perched on my windowsill - looking at the birds fluttering by

Kyle looking at the houses below my apartment

Sunget! Sing-sungit ng owner. Hahaha!


Chilling on my coffee table

Sleepy on my couch

Tulog na talaga.

Kyle napping in the afternoon. Cute-cute!

He's on dreamland while I was working.

Kyle on lambing mode. He cuddled up while I was watching TV.

When a little kindness and some prayers can go a long way

New home for a little one

Last Monday, I helped a one-year old white female rabbit get adopted. The white rabbit was staying in at my vet while waiting to get adopted. I see her all the time when I visit Kyle.

During a lunch time conversation with Binky, I mentioned in passing that the cuddly creature needs a new home. It turned out that she was interested. I called my vet and facilitated the visit and pick-up.

It's a very small thing that I did, but I'm happy that I helped get a new and safe home for the white rabbit.

Last Friday, Binky even showed me the photos she took of where the rabbit is now staying. She has her own "condo," with small stairs, so to speak.

Unscrupulous pet sellers

Speaking of pets, I am researching about recovery and care for kittens with the same condition as Kyle's - post-prolapse treatment and megacolon care - so that I can ensure that my family can take special care of him.

While doing so, I also searched for Persian and Himalayan kittens for sale. Kyle will have to stay with my Mom now because of the special attention that he needs and I badly want a cat's company in my apartment. I also figured that when Kyle gets better, it may be healthier to have 2 cats at home.

I got incensed with some of the search results I got. Some sellers of kittens and even adult cats have not inoculated the pets they’re selling! There were 7-month old kittens that have not received any deworming or shots of any kind. Some of them even have ear mites.

WHAT. THE. HELL?!?!?

I’m so angry at these unscrupulous sellers. I urge you not to buy from them.

And never from pet shops, too – especially BioResearch!

Volunteerism

I also checked out PAWS and CARA Welfare Philippines. I want to donate my spare cat food to them for the cats in their shelter.

They also help in facilitating adoption to cats and dogs.

For those who want to provide a safe and loving home to these pets, you might want to check them out. If you can’t – you might choose to volunteer.

I’m considering volunteering in very little ways since I have very little time. That’s why I’m also strongly considering CARA since it’s nearer my area.

More news on Kyle

Kyle was rushed back to the vet hospital on Wednesday morning. Contrary to the expected complication of being incontinent and for his bowel movement to be uncontrolled and messy 24/7, he is now suffering from megacolon – an enlargement of the colon and failure to remove stool by himself.

The entire process is excruciating. I have not slept properly the entire week. My family is affected. R. is affected.

I just want Kyle to have the best care possible. I hope that he will be able to recover and heal himself. If he needs special care and treatment – I will not love him less. I just don’t want him to suffer.

Although I am emotionally suffering from this and my heart breaks whenever I see him in pain, I will not do anything differently. Had he been sold to another owner who might not be this patient and who might not have means for his medical treatment, he might not have lasted this long.

So friends, please pray for Kyle – the little creature who changed my life.

Super TGIF!

Kyle files: Coming home soon

I’m on car coding today but when it got lifted at 10am, I drove to the vet to visit Kyle. They just bathed him early this morning so he was so cute, kissy and cuddly. ‘Quite a stark contrast from being bantut-dungis when I visited him last night.

He’s recovering well. Super thank God that he is not incontinent and when he recovers fully, he can be a normal, happy, kulit kitty again.

Kyle is scheduled to come home this weekend so I need to buy a pet pen at Tiendesitas tomorrow and some bed covers for him. He needs to be confined in a limited area for a while. I’m just afraid that he will jump all over the apartment again and damage the already recovering stitches.

Friends, thanks for the well-wishes and for checking up on him. We still need your prayers.

Zen living

A friend of mine a.k.a. Vince gave me the Zen Habits blog site.

May I just say that aylavet!!!

Simplifying and living a frugal life are both so in these days.

Thanks, Beans.

I’m really loving the articles.

Simplifying and saving

Yes – I am simplifying.

Notice that I have not gone out very often. If I call friends, I normally invite them to share room service with me so it’s still a quiet and cozy dinner.

Are my super clubbing days over?

Honestly, I’m not sure. Lately, though, R. needs to drag me to Martinis for a drink or two and it’s just 16 floors away from us. I just really want to stay in.

I’m happy staying in at the club floor or just at home – reading books, surfing while watching over Kyle. Napping. And napping some more.

While being a Recessionista is the name of the game, it’s both saving money and being at peace for me.

Simple living is peaceful. Happy.

Kyle really made a lot of difference when I got him.

Need I say more that R.’s being rock-solid lately has done a major dent?

Purging and spring cleaning

Oh yeeez. The inevitable.

I will try to purge my closet once again.

3 things:

One, I need to let go of stuff that I don’t use to make room for new ones. Charo gave me a brilliant idea. If I want to buy new things, I need to let go of the old ones to lessen the guilt a wee little bit. Hahaha.

Two, I want to sell some of my things so I can earn a few grand for Kyle’s maintenance. Yes – 2 Louis Vuitton bags are leaving my closet.

Three, I want to give the rest away to people who really need it. I’ve wanted to do this part. I’m sincere about it so I need to kick myself to organize and pack my stuff this weekend so I can drive to Caritas Manila and deliver the boxes.

Oh yeeez. Purging of friends included in my to-do list.

It’s a necessary evil. There are true friends, positional friends, fair-weather friends and frienemies. I’m ditching the last two.

Who shouldn’t, right?

I don’t have a lot of time in my hands. Who does, anyway? Better take care of the chosen few who will stick with you. ‘no, Arlene?

There is virtue in knowing who your real friends are.

And…finally

I’m wishing for another quiet, relaxed, happy weekend.

My balikbayan Tita Len is here so I’m just looking forward to spending the Saturday with her, mom and Tita Rose.

I wish the same for you, friendships.

Happy weekend!

The good from bad

Yes – good life is really a matter of perspective.

As cliché as it sounds, it really depends on how you see the glass: half-empty or half-full.

Admittedly, I have not gone to the usual cocktail nights and parties for almost 2 weeks now. I’ve been busy taking care of Kyle. To see a little creature get sick and feel pain like that really robbed me off my usual sunshiny disposition.

I can feel my heart being crushed as I looked over him at the operating table. I watched over him during his surgery last Monday. I literally had to choke back tears and bite my tongue.

Good things, however, spring from sad and hurtful moments.

R. is not a “cat person.” Burned from the experience with the mischievous Persian cat shared with his ex, he developed a disliking for cats of all kinds. When I got Kyle, he made it clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with him. His claim: they can both live in peaceful coexistence in my apartment sometimes – but that’s as far as their relationship goes.

When Kyle got sick, though, he constantly called me to ask for updates and shared tips on how to take care of him while he was sick. R. was there on the other line when I was sobbing in my car on my way back to the vet hospital for Kyle’s surgery. He was my security blanket and my solid rock of strength.

When he arrived last week, he offered to share a huge chunk of the hospital bill. More than that, we visited Kyle everyday. He played with him with torn up newspapers last Saturday evening.

On his way back to Hong Kong yesterday, he even volunteered to visit Kyle again before going to the airport.

Paano mo naman hindi mamahalin ang taong ganito kahit may topak at sumpong paminsan-minsan?

All my friends (and my aunt) said the same thing – he is doing it for me. And because of me.

I know that.

He doesn’t read my blog –

But R., thanks for loving Kyle for me. Thanks for not taking things for granted, for valuing what’s important for me. Thanks for being there.

And thanks for being my number 1 cheerleader.

Two things

Just 2 things on my wish list to close the week:

1. A relaxing, quiet weekend with R.
2. Kyle's speedy recovery and healing

Thank you for the well-wishes and the prayers.

Happy weekend!

Kyle files – He is sick. Please pray for him and wish him well.

Yesterday marked the first month that I bought Kyle from BioResearch. Yesterday, I also had him admitted for surgery.

The bacterial infection led to a recurring prolapse, which then led to rectal infection.

Despite giving him the best care and nurturing at home, Kyle still suffered from several kinds of gastro-intestinal infections.

My friends are actually urging me to lodge a complaint against BioResearch for selling me a sick and sickly cat. The infection actually became apparent 8 days after his purchase, despite top-of-the line cat food, a very conducive and cat-friendly house and a very nurturing environment.

Barely a month with me and I already had to rush him to the emergency vet 3 times – each costing P1,500 just for the emergency admission.

At a time like this, though, I don’t have enough mind space to think of filing a complaint or going through legal procedures for this.

I just want Kyle to be well.

I’d like him to live a long, happy, normal cat life.

After the operation, however, the doctors already warned me that even if he recovers, my worst case scenario is that he will permanently lose his bowel movement control because of damaged rectal nerves. The repercussion for me is that I will have an incontinent, messy cat at home.

If this will be the case, I will be forced to bring him home to my Mom’s house where he can be cared for 27/4 by my Mom and yaya. My yaya grew very fond of him, as she was the designated cat-sitter when I’m not at home.

As much as I would like him to roam freely in the house, I will be compelled to buy a big cat house aka cage, where he can stay so he will not mess up the entire house. Or perhaps I can opt for diapers, too, so I can bring him out every now and then so he can play.

The emotional anguish of all these is indescribable. I cannot put in words how much grief I feel – seeing him in endure the pain, seeing him tied in all fours and spread on the operating table while he was sedated but conscious.

Yet, this is not about me anymore. Perhaps whatever pain I’m feeling now cannot compare to the physical pain and psychological stress that Kyle is going through.

He will be in the hospital for 10 days after the surgery. I opted for hospital care over home care since the vets definitely know better to care for him. All I can do right now is visit him everyday and be financially responsible for all the hospitalization expenses.

I cannot believe I can be this affected – by a 4-month old kitten. If there is something that I learned about this entire process, I am surprised by how much compassion I have in my heart and how far I will go to make him well again.

If I am praying now that he survives all these and he live a normal cat life, it’s not for me anymore. It is for him.

If he turns out to be a handicapped cat after this, though, I will not love him less.

Friends, please say a prayer for my Kyle. Please pray for his recovery and healing.

Kyle files – Enjoying the highs (and lows) of being a Cat Mother

Last Saturday was Kyle’s second visit to the vet. He was supposed to get his 8-in-1 booster shots. Unfortunately, the baby has bacterial infection so he needs antibiotics first before he can get immunized.

I’m hoping the infection will go away soon and that he will get better so he can complete his immunization.

It was also his second time in the grooming station and as usual, he was exhausted after all the habulan with his groomer. Too exhausted, that, when we arrived home, he immediately ate his lunch and dozed off for the entire afternoon.

This is the first time --- ever --- that I wake up at 5 in the morning to clean someone's ears and make him drink his medicine. Parang baby talaga.

He shows his gratitude by being sweet and playful. He kisses me on the nose to acknowledge my presence and welcomes me by the door when I get home.

What used to be my squeaky clean apartment is now littered with cat toys and cat hair. It’s all worth it, though. The apartment will never be the same again… in a good way. =)

Kyle getting his ears cleaned

Exhausted after his grooming and vet check-up

Feeling better after a tummy rub =)

Curled like a ball when I left home this morning

Introducing Kyle

I ain’t called Catlady for nothing.

The moment I saw him on display at BioResearch, I just had to buy him and rescue him from being entrapped within his tiny cage for another day.

Friends, meet Kyle, my new baby.

He’s a 3-month old male Persian.

I get along better with male cats so I chose him over the queens.

I got him last Monday so I needed to immediately cat-proof my apartment, lest I want my Zen displays mangled by him.

Kyle got litterbox-trained within a day. Playful and sweet, I can leave him be for the entire day when I go to work.

Now that he’s with me, I try to go home as early as I can. Yes. THAT, is something new!

I even went to the apartment twice during lunch time already to check on him.

This Saturday will be our first trip to the vet, although I’m quite relieved that he had some shots taken already. Next stopover will be the grooming station since his nails need to be cut.

Nabeth said he is my feline alter ego --- mukhang masungit, but very loving and playful.

Look at his pictures. Fierce! But give him his mouse toy and ball, he will happily paw at and play with them.

Sana Saturday na. Romy and I will head to Tiendesitas to buy more cat toys and toiletries.

Now there’s somebody to come home to --- very cuddly and furry, to say the least.

Happiness.