To Sir with Love

Exactly three years ago, we were together in Jakarta. 

We spent the weekend together with Ate Evelyn, plowed through the antique shops of Jalan Surabaya for my furniture collection and bought my first serious nude painting. 

We went to Segarra to see the sunset while we were having cocktails. 

Blame it on Timehop that I actually unearthed this specific episode. 

Can you believe it? It has been three years. Has it been that long? 

I haven't seen you for two years now. The cosmos has yet to align for us to bump into each other once again. We share the same city once in a while. We check in the same hotel, for crying out loud! Yet we never, ever come across each other.

Perhaps the Universe knows in her core that I may not be ready for it - no matter the brave front. Honestly, the thought bubble in my mind is: Are you? 

Three years.

But the photos still scorched something in me. 

I still bled a little. My throat still burned from choking back tears and my chest felt like there's an anvil shoved on top of it. 

Ganon pala talaga kita minahal. 

I casually told Nabeth what happened today, of three years ago. She said, "Sayang si Sir. Akala ko talaga kayo na." 

I thought so, too. 

Today, I'm in a much better place, but the thought of you...of us...still strike me nostalgic. 

I can't help but wonder until when I will bleed a little when I think of you. 

I guess this is what great loves do to people. They make you realize the amount of pain and love you can bear for one person, just for the want and the need to be with them.  

Sir, you're definitely one for the books. 

After all, there is only One Great Love in this lifetime for me.

That, or I may just be waxing sentimental.  

Of best friends, saying goodbye and welcoming another one back

Indeed, life is a wheel that goes on and on. Sometimes, we say goodbye to people we love, but if they are meant to be in our lives, they eventually stumble back in. 

Des is leaving for Melbourne next Tuesday. While I'm saddened that I will soon lose one of the besties within the Inner Circle, I'm also excited to have someone back again. 

VERY EXCITED!!! 

Ate Eve is coming back to Manila for a new gig. Whilst we will be on the opposite site of the fence, it doesn't matter. I'm getting one of my best friends back. That, to me, is what matters.  

Ate Eve is one of my crutches during my Jakarta stint. She was my sounding board, my weekend salon and shopping soulmate even before the Malaysia Boys came into both our lives. 

Although we kept in touch very regularly despite the distance, being near each other still mattered. 

And now, we're back together. IN THE SAME CITY!!! STARTING TOMORROW!!! 

*dance of joy* 

Here's to more adventures together. And cheers to good ol' friendships! 

  

Premium on friendship

So we bump into each other near the elevator. We both look stunned, like it's not even likely to come across each other when we work for the same company. In the same building. 

We say our cordial "Heys."

I had to text you: "Is it just me, or you're not talking to me?"

You made up lousy excuses of being busy all the time and wanting to message me about my prenup shoots. 

I text back: "That's a load of crap." 

Look, you text me when you're zoning out in meetings and you text me around bed time. I used your car and driver for my birthday holiday with my bestfriends.

But you stop talking to me afterwards. 

After the announcement that I'm really getting hitched.

What gives? 

No congratulatory greetings. No nothing.

I can't just let you get away with the "I was busy" excuse. Although I did expect it.

Then you invite me to dinner like nothing happened. Like there was no radio silence between us for the past 2 months. 

2 months. 

I don't know what's going on in your head, but in mine, we were friends. 

And I placed a premium on that friendship. 

I was there for you when shit was happening to you when we were in Jakarta. 

So tell me.

What gives? 

Jakarta, my Jakarta

Tonight is my last night as an expatriate here in Jakarta, Indonesia. I will naturally go back to see friends --- but as a tourist and no longer a resident. 

I'm happy that I spent my last night with two of my most favorite people here. Without them, Jakarta would have never been the same. Jakarta became a second home because they cared for me.

I'm excited --- and I'm soooo looking forward to my life in Manila. At the same time, I will leave a huge portion of my heart here. I will leave behind loved ones and people I really love and care about.

But just like what Ate said, "my love for you will never change, no matter where we are."

So long, Jakarta. 

See you in a couple of months! 

The ever so familiar goodbye: of transitioning and packing my bags, yet again

Deja vu. I'm packing my stuff in the office and it is my official last day.

My thought bubble whilst I'm pounding my keyboard: been there, been that.  

Same time 2 years ago, I was leaving a great team behind and relocating to an uncharted territory (at least in my book). 

Fast forward to today --- I am in the same situation, only with different people. 

I'd like to think that I've been immune for moving quite so often. I've changed and searched for apartments 4 times already, packed my stuff and flew out - not once, but twice.

Perhaps others think it's the usual run-of-the-mill for me already, that I get used to the crying and the sad goodbyes. 

I wish I am.

You never get used to saying goodbye --- especially to people you have learned to care for and love. Cliche', but it's like adding insult to injury because you get to relive that sad moment all over again. 

Of goodbyes and moving on... I like doing the latter but I wish I can forego the first part. I do have trouble saying goodbye because it's hard to let go of people who made a dent. 

But then again --- there are really no permanent endings. The people who cried for me 2 years ago when I left- who also got it caught on video for my send-off party -  must be smacking themselves silly right now since I'm coming back to them. Harharhar. 

At any rate, it is definitely inescapable. I am moving on and transitioning all over again, in the hopes that I am fulfilling my destiny and my purpose. 

But to the team that I will leave behind: my heart goes out to them. I do hope that the future holds another opportunity for us to work together or spend time. 

I had fun and I had a great time. 

But for now... off to packing my bags.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

So very apropos.


Sometimes, I get tired of fighting for what is right. I stop and think: what is the point? I will get over-turned, anyway. My voice will not be heard.

None of us are. 

And again -- what is the point for me if I'm already moving on to other priorities? 

Then I read this quote. 

It is tiring to fight for what's right, sometimes. Especially if the dominant opinion --- or the more powerful one --- gets all the audience. 

But today, I just had to be reminded. 

I still have to. Win or lose --- I have to fight a good fight. For the sake of my kids, for the sake of their careers.

I just need to find that energy and take back my swagger. 

For that --- bukas na bukas, bongga na ulit! Fight!!!

I heart December

First of December.

In Manila, Christmas songs would have been playing as early as September. In Indonesia, it's quite the contrary. 


But I love today! 


'Seems like December will be a great month for me. 
Time to feel the spirit, to hear Christmas songs. In 20 days, it's time for me to come home to the familiar, to the loving, to the comforting. 


It took me some time to realize it --- more than 3 decades at least --- but it's never too late.


I love December! 

It's time to be in Manila. 

Fast forward to weekend

Barely mid-week and I'm already looking forward to Friday. 

It's a pleasant surprise. A beautiful thing. 


I can't wait for you to be here again. 

I'm all for the weekends lately, I noticed. 

These made me happy over the weekend

 

I'm glad they came over and visited.

See you again this Christmas break, Kids.

Lunching ladies

It's been a hectic week.

I was given 2 days to write my business plan. I have a presentation to the steering committee in a couple of days. My numbers are flat-lining. 

I'm stressing my team out and pounding on them to panic and do something about our numbers. 

My college friends are here in Jakarta. Whilst they gallivant around town and cuddle tamed tiger cubs in Taman Safari, I remain seated in my office typing away how I should be growing my business for 2012. 

In the middle of a hectic Friday, I decided to head out to Din Tai Fung and join the company of the lunching and brunching ladies: the Jakarta Bitches. 

I'm glad a did. Breath of fresh air. Made me feel more grounded. 

I'm the second to the youngest among all of them and it's nice to be the green one hearing wiser words.  For a change.

It's so true --- I need to be French every now and then - savor the joie' de vivre which I have been neglecting lately. 

And my ladies reminded me of the true path. Many thanks to the wiser ones. 

Now that I'm done with the bizplan, I still have Monday morning to panic and draft the steercomm slides. 

In the meantime, I shall enjoy a weekend of good Indonesian food, antiques, batik, Ramayana ballet at the Prambanan Temple and the view of Borobodur up close.

Yogyakarta - here I come!

Pulling through

You came when I needed you. 

Perhaps you didn't know how miserable I felt for days on end. 
Distance has a way of muffling anguish and desolation. 

Thank you for coming over. 

I needed you. 

And I need you to pull this one through for me. 

Spankin’ life

I’ve heard this a gazillion times already --- “to travel is better than to arrive.”

My competitiveness, passion, ambition and zest for life almost always leave me craving for so much more.  I have to constantly remind myself that there are so many reasons why I should be grateful.

Rightly or wrongly, I’m always restless, wanting to hop on to the next bus or train that will lead me to my next pitstop. I always look forward to what is beyond my current spot, forgetting that where I am now is something that I should be reveling in and celebrating.

What is so bad about how I live my life right now?   If I start counting my blessings, I would sound like a childish brat for ranting too much.

One – I am living a spoiled expat life in Jakarta, with two maids, a driver and car. I live in a 2-bedroom apartment, which for someone living alone, is more than enough.  

Two – I did get what I wanted. I declared…nay, demanded to the Universe that I wanted an expat post in another telco. Yes, I work extremely long hours, I work on Sunday mornings by default, my promotion has been delayed for several months already and I have been a casualty of X number of reorgs that actually contributed to the stifling of my career path. But I have a great team – all new and young bloods – that I truly care for, I get along with my boss and the regional opportunities for me are in full bloom. 

I just really need to suck it up --- for all the things that suck. Looking at the bigger picture, though, it is not a catastrophe. 

Three - I have a supportive, loving, caring, funny and very earnest boyfriend. It has not been all roses for us.  No, we are not a normal couple – our highs and lows – are unwillingly extreme. At the same time, we have come a long way and we have a solid history and friendship that we always fall back on during tough times. The Boss is not perfect, but he is trying. I’m not perfect, but to him, I am. 

Four – Despite my sometimes seemingly gargantuan financial responsibilities back home, I am blessed with a strong capability to earn my keep. I’ve got multiple investment funds and although the dollar has been significantly devalued, I get by. I can still afford my little luxuries, I have an enviable collection of bags and watches, I can afford my Sunday brunches and fancy dinners with my ladies without scooping out coins and bills under my couch or in my bags. 

Five – The most infallible testimony to what great life I have --- is a collection that I will not trade for anything. My friends.  True, loyal and great friends that I acquired and kept through all these years. Jakarta, in the most aggrandizing moments, is survivable because of my girlfriends from here. When I come back to Manila, I come home to the comforts of my inner circle, my besties, my college friends, my Globe family, my adopted daughter and my own family. One of the greatest successes that I’m very proud of is keeping the right friends, choosing the good apples and staying with them. 

With these top 5, I really have no right to complain. If I rant any further, I feel that the Universe will strike me with lightning. Any moment now. 

Life is not perfect. But it’s always good. 

The Bitch weekend

Evelyn - a Pinay colleague and friend - formed this BBM group she fondly named The Jakarta Bitches. It's just 5 Pinays here (yes, including Madison) who gets together regularly for the Saturday salon day, Wednesday movie night and the usual dinner and drinks.

Yesterday, I went to Kleo-Fazio salon with Madison for my usual hair creme bath treat and her mani-pedi. The hair spa here is fantabulous - the scalp and back massage lasts for a good one hour. It's one of my not-so-cheap thrills to tide me over very stressful weeks.

After the salon session, we got together with Evelyn and Leah to watch Salt at the Premier EX. I'm not over the Inception hype so although Salt was good, it was a so-so movie for me. No cognitive processing needed so it's all good. Liv Schreiber's role was a dead giveaway of the ending, though. Whoever thought of the casting, hello???

Today, the Jakarta Bitches will all trek to the Four Seasons for our champagne brunch. The Jakarta Bitches Convention - as Jen puts it. Hahaha. Thus, the need for me to wake up early today (on a Sunday at that) to do a bit of work since I'm foreseeing I'm gonna be too wasted this afternoon to even think about usability standards.

It's been a great weekend, so far. I'm loving it.

So looking forward to the champagne and foie' gras in a couple of hours.

This. is. life.

Dua bulan

Two months...

Time flies by really fast. I can't believe I've been here for two months already.

It's the first of August --- one of my best friends' birthday is coming up. Bar exams is on the horizon in September. When October comes, I'm turning another leaf.

Time flies, it really does.

This year, for the past seven months, I feel though that my time was well-spent.
It's been tiring, it's been hectic.

But everything is all worth it.

I do miss Manila. I wish I can come home. But I wanna rake in lots of moolah so I can party-hardy in December and go on that Cambodia trip that I've been dreaming of for the past 2 years.

So Jakarta is where I will be for now.

It's been surprisingly amazing, though.

Not bad, Jakarta. Not bad.

You've been treating this lady very nicely.

Jakarta files: Random Sunday musings

Ever since I landed in Jakarta, Sundays became the default day of respite. I never really rested on Sundays when I was in Manila.

Well, for one, my driver needs a day-off. Blame it on the expat lifestyle that you can get quickly accustomed to here, but I feel lazy going out if Pak Karman is not with me. I know. Katamaran, isdatchu? Spoiled brat, isdisme?

More importantly, though, work is really tiring. Tiring – is the understatement of the month. Despite the reality here that offices close their lights and turn off their LAN connections at 6:00 pm, our work doesn’t end there. Either we continue meetings until dinner time at Loewy or we bring work home.

It helps a lot that I love what I’m doing. I’m back doing usability and portal management. I wanna kick ass doing both. It does entail long hours - lunch and dinner meetings to boot.
With this, I officially declared Sunday as my quiet time in the apartment when I can catch up with favorite TV series (Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!) or talk to my friends and family in Manila.

This morning, while waiting for Ana to arrive for my house clean-up, I decided to re-skin my blog. New updates deserve a new look.

Plus, my comment enabler Haloscan was bought out by a greedy company who wanted to charge USD $10 to continue the service. Hell no! ‘Won’t spend a dime for social networking that’s supposed to be FREE. Hello, Echo? What the hell were you thinking???

Anyways…

Aside from being uber hectic to ensure my smooth transition to Jakarta, Facebook was one of the culprits why I updated less frequently (another understatement). It’s easier to just drop a line or two there for updates.

I know. That excuse is a total cop out.

And so my blog quest continues…

For now, I shall enjoy my quiet Sunday.

Jakarta Online: Of moving on and going back

What difference 3 months can make…

A new job. A new apartment. A new country.

It’s literally a new life for me.

4 more days and I have been in hiatus for exactly 3 months already. I needed the time to adjust –find my own place and move in, learn the ropes of my new role and become more familiar with the culture and people.

Plus, as excited as I was to share the news, I didn’t want to do a preemptive strike until I knew that the plan was no longer a mere blueprint. I had to make sure it’s already real.

Yes, friends. I am back.

I guess it’s more apt to say that I’m back. And moving on.

I have been in Jakarta for almost 2 months now. I accepted an expat post in a growing and progressive telco here. The new job actually requires me to go back to my professional roots and first love: portal user experience design and usability.

Jakarta welcomed me with open arms.

Contrary to the horror stories of some friends and colleagues who have been assigned here, Jakarta has been a delightful experience for me.

Love the food, the people, the office culture. I love the lifestyle!

What can I say?

Thank you, Universe, for the new beginning. You definitely have a way of making it up.

Brace yourself, Jakarta.

I am sooooooo back in my element!