The best is yet to come

Heavenly Father, 

Thank you for all your wonderful blessings and graces. You have blessed me with so much more than what I deserve. 

You've done it again. You made me believe that all I have to do is to have faith in You and You alone. 

My life in 2013 has been a testament of Your miracles, as the miracles happened in my life itself. 

Thank You for your gifts, Your unconditional love. 

Thank You for saving me. 

The best part is your promise that the best is yet to come. 

Allow me, my husband, my familly, my friends and all the people that I love to continue to be a witness of Your benevolence this coming 2014. Please continue to shower us with your blessings and graces. 

I offer my 2014 to You. May I do good things to others in Your name. 

Thank you, Lord. 

Happy New Year. Please continue to be with me in the coming years. 

In Jesus Christ's name. Amen. 

Jeremiah 29:11

Last Friday of 2014

Today is the last Friday of 2014. 

My morning was spent with my Yayay Cita packing for my Malaysia trip tomorrow. I am so helpless without her. 

This afternoon, I went to the office to complete some of my paperwork and presentation deck. I'm not planning to bring my lappy so better do everything TODAY! 

It's  been very quiet in the office --- as in reeeaaaally quiet. I'm not used to it. 

At any rate, despite the lack of thorough review of what I've done this year and how I fared in my bucket list, I actually think I did quite well. 

God has been very generous. I have been very blessed. 

Off to more paperwork before I finally enjoy my holiday break. 

RnR. Finally!!!

I've got a feeling...

...that I will reach almost all my personal targets this year. 

AYLOVETTE!!! 

I haven't gone through my list one by one yet, but I think I did well. 

=) 

Of Christmas traditions and comfort zones

I'm pretty much flexible and I go with the flow. I can make the best of bad situations.  I can appreciate the simple things in life. When I'm happy, I'm really giddy-happy.

Admittedly though, no matter how flexible and adaptable I am, I do have comfort zones.

Amidst the sea of change, I take comfort in classic traditions. In the same people I see, I talk to, I go to for the really important things. 

Every year, every 25th of December, our high school circle gets together for our Christmas dinner. It started in 1994 and it hasn't been broken ever since. 

1 more year to go and it's gonna be 2 decades of this long-running tradition. Our expats go home for this. I was looking forward to it myself when I was still in Indonesia. 

I'm just glad that some things don't change. And I hope they won't anytime soon. 

This is one of my favorite traditions of all time. =) 

Christmas morning

Christmas mornings are THE BEST!!!

I can wake up late. 

I wake up with my entire family in the house. As soon as I enter the living room, I smell the waft of piping hot chocolate and Mom's classic spaghetti meat sauce being warmed on the kitchen stove. 

The entire house is just really crazy - Abbygale shouting, playing and running around, conversations among the oldies - my Mom, my Dad and Yayay Cita. 

One word to describe everything: BLISS. 

The holiday season used to make me sad. 

Not anymore. 

I have no reason to be. 

JC has blessed me so much. There's just so many things to be thankful for. 

My family. Skye. My friends. My career. Everything in my life just fits all perfectly for me. 

Today, it's JC's birthday. Ironically, He's the one who gave me a plenitude of gifts. 

Christmas. 

I now love Christmas. =) 

Premium on friendships: Part 2

And so you called me this morning, insistently asking if we could see each other over the holidays. 

I can sense this is your way of making it up. 

You ask me to go with you to get your barongs custom-made. 

You evade the topic of radio silence for 2 months and pretend like nothing happened. 

Dork. 

But fine. 

Since you are one of my friends and it's Christmas, I will let this one slide. 

But do this again...do it one more time...

You're really gonna be off the friendship list. 

Merry Christmas, Alpha One. 

Big Dreams

I have big dreams for other people. 

I have big dreams for my family. 

I have bigger dreams for Abby. 

Yesterday, I was with Abby the entire day. She had such a great time choosing her Hello Kitty Christmas gifts. 

She told me that her dream is to have her own bedroom filled with Hello Kitty stuff. Hello Kitty pillows and bed cover, Hello Kitty lamps, boxes, toiletries. Hello Kitty everything! 

I do want that for her. 

Early next year (which is just a matter of days), I will look for a new school for her already. I definitely want to enroll her in a better school. It's never too early to prepare her for university. 

And I want her to go to MY University. 

Big dreams. 

I need all of the Universe's conspiracy for this. 

Loooooong albeit pleasant Sunday

It's past 1am but my day just ended. I'm ending it with a glass of wine (or two) while reading my last book for the year. 

Today is epic. 

It's been a looooooong day of errands in preparation for Christmas.

Whatta Sunday! 

It is a blessed one, though. Amidst the frenzy was a good quality time with la familia. 

Family trumps all else. 

I'm definitely loving this season. =) 

All I want for Christmas is...

On a lighter note, I'm loving my Christmas gifts. =) 

At least those that I needed to open because of the Christmas party ceremonies. 

Keep 'em comin'. 

Fighting the flu bug off

I'm double-booked for Christmas parties tonight...

But I can feel the flu bug. 

And I'm fighting it off as best as I can. 

Waaaah.

Come on.

Don't be raining on my parade now. 

Holiday Bug

Gah. A few days before Christmas and there's still a deluge of work in the office. 

I can't concentrate anymore. 

I slept late wrapping Christmas presents for my entire team of 30 plus last night. Egg-zoooooited to give my gifts today! 

I can't wait for the Christmas weekend and it's only Thursday!!! 

Flu...again???

Yoj caught the flu over the weekend after her Boracay trip. She sits beside me so now...it's not surprising that I feel my throat itch and I've got muscle pain.

FLU.

Don't go near me!!! 

Premium on friendship

So we bump into each other near the elevator. We both look stunned, like it's not even likely to come across each other when we work for the same company. In the same building. 

We say our cordial "Heys."

I had to text you: "Is it just me, or you're not talking to me?"

You made up lousy excuses of being busy all the time and wanting to message me about my prenup shoots. 

I text back: "That's a load of crap." 

Look, you text me when you're zoning out in meetings and you text me around bed time. I used your car and driver for my birthday holiday with my bestfriends.

But you stop talking to me afterwards. 

After the announcement that I'm really getting hitched.

What gives? 

No congratulatory greetings. No nothing.

I can't just let you get away with the "I was busy" excuse. Although I did expect it.

Then you invite me to dinner like nothing happened. Like there was no radio silence between us for the past 2 months. 

2 months. 

I don't know what's going on in your head, but in mine, we were friends. 

And I placed a premium on that friendship. 

I was there for you when shit was happening to you when we were in Jakarta. 

So tell me.

What gives? 

Mapaglarong Universe

After 2 months of not talking, we finally bumped into each other. 

Hmm...

Universe, ha? 

Naglalaro ka na naman.

7 days before Christmas

Skye and I just finished watching The Hobbit. It's past 12 and my mind is still racing. 

Sleepless in Manila. 

Yes, I am. 

Because it's 7 days before Christmas and I still have a looooong to-do list. 

Panic at the disco na!!! 

Breathe. Don't stress. Breathe. 

Christmas is on turbo charge this year. 

Game on, fayt!!!

Tiis-ganda: When hard work pays off

I have not been drinking a lot for the past 2 months now. I've stayed away from alchy as much as I can. 

No more binge-drinking, drunk driving and Prive' party nights. 

All for the love of better health...and fabulous prenup photos. 

I liked our Jakarta prenup shots in August but I felt like my arms there were humongous. My legs were pamalo ng dalag and I had double chin. 

I work out regularly and I try to eat healthy. 

My nemesis is really my alcohol intake. 

As such, I made a resolve to shun alcohol as much as I can. And if I can't, I made an effort to drink moderately. 

What used to be a bottle of wine over dinner became 1-2 glasses for me. An all-you-can drink mojito night is ROI'd by just 2 glasses. 

IT WAS A LOT OF SACRIFICE, considering that my stress-buster means cocktails or wine nights at Barcino with my ladies. And yes, Barcino has missed me so much for the past 4 months. 

Lo and behold, the hard work paid off. 

I'm happy with the results of our Manila prenup shoot. And I feel less guilty. 

No more binge drinking! 

And I will actually add that to my 2014 resolutions. 

=) 

Getting rid of unneccessary stress

Seriously, on a great Friday...

I DON'T NEED IT. 

I don't want to fuss over the small things. 
I don't want to be bothered by the trite and the trivial that can possibly irritate me. 

My schedule is full to the brim. It's mid-December and I've spent most of the time running around for errands. I know this will be the case until February, so as much as I possibly can, I need to just learn to let go. 

Don't sweat the small stuff. 

Repeat. 

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.

Repeat until it sinks in. 

Wanted: desk time

I've been neglecting my paper work and it's been piling heaps. 

I need my desk time. Quiet time to approve leave requests, answer satisfaction surveys of other groups, monitor our group budget and spending. 

I need SILENCE.

The gift of time

Time. 

I need more time.

15 days before Christmas. 

2 months before the wedding. 

I need more than 24 hours in a day. 

So help me God. 


 

Chronicles of a Lagareng Weekend

It turned out, my weekend was just meant for me to run errands.

Gone are my usual Friday drinking sesh - which apparently is good for me since I'm trying to lose a few lbs. for my gown to fit semi-perfectly. 

I had to wake up at past 6am on Saturday morning to quickly shower and pick Abby and my Mom up. We headed out to Divi so I can buy the fabric needed for the bridesmaid dresses. 

From there, I had to buy boxes, gift wrappers and some items for Abby. 

We left Binondo at 2pm so I can have some downtime before I do my best friend duties in the evening. Lo and behold, I had to endure a 2-hour traffic on the way home so I had to immediately jump into the shower and get dressed. 

The only real downtime I had was my Saturday late night alone at home after dinner and drinks at Bugsys. I was literally running around the whole day. 

Sunday was no less frantic. After worship and the traditional Sunday family lunch, I normally take long naps but I had to trade them for a gift wrapping sesh. I made a significant dent on my list but 2/3 still need to be wrapped. Ang arte ko kasi mag-gift wrap. Kailangan production number talaga?  

It works in my favor that I have actually come to accept that I'm destined to be Superwoman Multi-tasker Extraordinaire this December. The earlier I came to terms with it, the more efficient and effective I am. 

Kailangan ng dibdibang multivitamins nito! 

From hereon though, I need to make a commitment to not compromise my sleep, lest I want to fall ill. 

I need all the extra superpowers that I can get. 

So help me God!

Disoriented

What can ruin a great Friday fever? 

MIGRAINE. 

And the feeling of disorientation. 

The weird thing is, the disorientation part came after I've had enough sleep. I was even more in the zone when I wasn't having enough. 

WTH. 

Anyways, I had to exert humongous effort to concentrate and do my work in the afternoon. It paid off a little bit, though I still have leftover paperwork to do over the weekend. 

It's almost 6pm --- and I'm packing up early! 

TGIF, indeed!!! 

TGIF! I love Fridays!

After a series of sleepless nights, I so deserve this Friday! 

'Been sleeping at past 3am for a host of reasons - I drafted preso slides, I got so caught up wrapping Christmas gifts that I didn't notice the time, I was reviewing decks, etc. 

Last year, one of my platforms had issues and we were compelled to miss the company Christmas party just so I can ensure that my systems remain up and running. This year, I vowed not to miss it, but heck, Yolanda came to the country so the company decided to not hold the party this year and give the proceeds to the Yolanda victims. Nothing lost and the money is better used that way. 

On the other hand, I promised myself I'd get into the Christmas spirit this year. COME WHAT MAY. 

So tonight, I hope I don't get derailed by friends who want to party the Friday night away. I intend to make a dent wrapping my Christmas presents. 

So glad and relieved it's a Friday! 

Pagoda coldwave lotion

Tiring 2 days. I've been sleeping at past 3am already for 2 straight days, either drafting slides or wrapping Christmas presents. 

Time to hit the sack early tonight. 

Bawal ubos ganda. 

Start of Christmas shopping: Faaaaaayt!!!

Bitstrippin' like cuh-raaaazy

It's the latest fad online and it's been invading Facebook. I'm a late adopter of Bitstrip but it's been my leads' way to ease up the stress, especially today. 

The strips below are just really hilarious. LOL. 

Chronicles of the Dude Bestie

I was actually surprised that he texted and called me when he was in Davao. It was an SOS call - something that I rarely get from Ian. The one and the only dude bestie.

Heck, I think the last time that we were on this mode was when we were both in the university. 

Apparently, he's into this love affair that's either on the cusp of falling apart or of turning into something really serious. 

Who else to call but the lone girl bestfriend, right? 

Riiiiiiiight. 

As if I have the moral ascendancy to give advice on love issues. I was in a series of roller coaster rides before I decided to finally tie the cliche' knot [more on the knot story in a separate blog]. 

How can be a girl twice engaged suddenly become the love doctor when she doesn't even know what she's doing half of the time when it comes to romantic relationships?

In any case, it was definitely an SOS. Ian wanted to see me for dinner on the same week. I was on house arrest for 2 days and I had a Catholic conference the entire weekend [yes, it seems off from the personality but I'm definitely church-active], we had to settle for an early Saturday night dinner. I had to be back at the conference by 9am on Sunday morning. 

The early Saturday night dinner ended at 2 in the morning the next day. We had so much to talk about that we didn't even notice the time and the fact that we actually had one too many to drink. 

Ian was never the super-emo type. Angsty, yes. Emo, not really. Thus, my surprise when he called me to talk about a heart issue. It wasn't anything catastrophic. The storyline wasn't even something that had novelty in it. But the issue is something that we all face at some point in our lives. 

Do we choose to love someone and stay with the person that might not exactly share the same future we want and the same values?

Not to patronize my guy bestie, but I honestly thing he has the one up in this game, but he has one point that makes sense. He's tired of the game. He wants something solid. Steady. I do understand the sentiment. 

At some point, don't we all want the same thing? 

Despite the issues we talked about, we actually both enjoyed the night. 

There is really this certain degree of comfort when you are with someone who has known you your whole life. 

Ian forgets my birthday. It never fails. Every year, he does. I'd get a call several weeks after from him, with the same stupid question that he asks, "Dude, was it your birthday?" 

But then again, it is that same degree of comfort that we have with each other that assures me I can call him anytime --- and he will always be there.

Day 2 of House Arrest: Confessions of a Workaholic

Day 2 of house arrest. I'm still alive - without the restlessness and fidgeting. 



I feel guilty when I take a break and push work stuff in a corner.

I feel bad putting off things for the next day --- even if accomplishing everything on my list will kill me. 

There. I said it. 

Skye is right. I do not know how to relax. I wish for it, I crave for it, I dream of it. 
But when I get a day or two's break, I don't know what to do. He actually said that he'd be a much better houseband and will reach that goal faster than I can be a housewife.

I get lost without the structure of a to-do list, because truth be told, there's so much to do!!! 

1. Work-wise, I have to build a major platform that needs to be up and running by next year. 

2. That is just one of the hundreds of things I need to do at work. I don't even want to go into mentally enumerating them. 

3. I've got a wedding ceremony and party to organize. Although I'm halfway there, it's no reason for me to silently panic. 

4. 2014 is just around the corner and I'm nowhere near touching my vision board. 

5. I have to account for all my mortgage payment if I want to sell one of my real estate properties. 

Had I not gone on a quick break, I would probably be suffering a panic attack right now. 

I know I'm trying to alleviate my guilt by opening my lappy, going online and trying to be productive by 9am - but it is a slow and good start for someone like me. 

I need to breathe. Yes, I keep telling myself that. 

It's okay to breathe. 

On house arrest: toning down the kuracha mode

I am forced to be on house arrest for two days, starting today. 

My doctor slapped me with a medical cert and reprimanded me to slow down, take it easy and just stone at home, after being diagnosed with chronic tonsillopharyngitis, which has been pestering me for two weeks now.

None of my friends believe I can do absolutely nothing in the two days and just stare in space. 

True enough, I managed to (slightly) organize my files and papers for my QC condo, write checks for some payments and finish my book. 

My Facebook wall today was littered by messages from friends scolding me to stay put --- even for a little while. 

Eto na. Makikinig na. 

It's true. We do need time to take a break and recharge once in a while. 

It's good for the soul. It sets things in perspective once again.

It's a welcome break. =)    

Decluttering the mind space

There's way too many cobwebs in my head right now. 

I need to declutter. 

Re-center. 

And then focus. 

I've been sick for more than a week now, but I only skipped work for a day. There's way too many things to do, too many tick boxes that I need to check on my list (there goes the list again!). 

This time, though, I need to stop. And breathe. 

I'm getting disoriented already. 

I need to keep calm so I can roll up my sleeves and do the dirty work once again. 

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do this afternoon. 

*shutting down iPad*

And then there was Yolanda

Yolanda is by far the strongest typhoon recorded to set foot on land. Unfortunately for the Filipinos, she traversed through the Visayan region like a scythe.

This much I can say, though. 

Relentless and fierce. 

Oh, hell yeah, we are. 

Fierce

Third day with the bug but I'm in the office, working like nothing's changed. 

As giddy as ever. Fierce kung fierce. 

I will be relentless. 

You won't bug me, bug. Pun intended. 

Bugged

I knew it. 

I was feeling under the weather last Monday. True enough, I caught the flu bug. Since I had my flu shots this year, my system's been trying to fight it off.  I did panic, though, because I had a lot of mosquito bites last Friday when we had cocktails at Bugsys.

I took the day off yesterday.  To rest. Re-channel. Realign. Re-center. 
All I did was eat, sleep, read, eat sleep. It definitely helped in my recovery. 

I'm back in the office, although I'm not in my best form yet. Just to be sure, I scheduled a doctor's appointment in the afternoon to also validate if I need to be tested for dengue. 

Crossing finges that it's not so that I can go back to my TRX classes. 

It feels good to slow down, though. I shouldn't be stubborn next time, to have to wait to get sick before I slow down.

Yes, yes. I'm listening, beloved Universe. 

Slowing down, slowing down. 

Cheaper than a shrink

Today, I just decided to take it easy on myself. 

To be more forgiving of myself. 

To just be. 

When anger and hate come knocking on my door

In a moment when anger is justified, let me have compassion and empathy instead. I may not be able to change what is inside another person's heart, but change mine.

And amidst a frenzy when I want to pull my hair out because things are not going according to plan, remind me of my mantra that works all the time: 

Grace under pressure, my love. Grace under pressure. 

Bawal ang ubos-ganda moves. 

Living life. I mean really living it.

I cannot live without my to-do list. As in my previous entry, it's part of my OCD. I get disoriented if I don't have a tangible list as reference of what I need to do. 

And whenever I don't accomplish as much in my list, I get really frustrated and annoyed at myself. I know. Throw me in the loony bin. 

This morning, my 10-12 meeting was moved to next week. As I was clamoring for my to-do list again, I realized I was missing out on my social obligations. Even that is on my list. 

Phone calls for best friends. Birthday greetings. Scheduling lunches and dinners for the long weekend. 

In the midst of my Facebook greetings and phone calls for friends, I realized how I can just lose my humanity running after my work targets and the long list I have on my Evernote. 

Despite my claim that it's my OCD in full effect that I have to put everything in my to-do list, I felt that I'm dehumanizing the aspect of my personal and social life by just relegating them as items to check on a list. I even have a Project Social label on it.

Fock. When did I ever get so rigid and ever-so structured that I run after accomplishing my list but missing out on the happiness that it brings me to talk to the people who really matter? 

I don't think I can get rid of my list. It will throw me off the wall. But today, I decided to enjoy the process. Tick off the check boxes but enjoy every moment. Every conversation. Every accomplishment. 

Today, I will just be. =) 

  

Crossroad, yet again

Crossroads have a way of teaching you life's important lessons. 

At least in my case, it's one of the most important stages where the Universe compels me to take action. 

So here I am again, at yet another crossroad in my career. It's a good one, though. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be given so many choices and opportunities. I'm not even deliberately looking, but the opportunities just come knocking. 

How can I not be grateful? 

If I go for one career opportunity, I will go back to the lion's den once again. I will again leave my family behind to explore opportunities. 

This time, though, I am not alone anymore. 

But if I don't go, I feel like I'm starting to become complacent already. 
Complacency has never been in my vocabulary. So has it permeated my life as of late?  I refuse to believe so. 

I'm struggling to make a decision. Normally, I stall when this happens. So many things to consider, not enough time. 

I'm asking the Universe to again conspire in my favor for me to be enlightened and to make the right decision - for me and for everyone I love.

The roller coaster ride...

...has just begun. 

Here we go. 

Project managing my life

Events happening all at the same time. 

Milestone upon milestone upon milestone. 

My Evernote to-do list makes me survive all the overlapping things I need to do. It's hard to maintain the work hard, play harder lifestyle. 

I do intend to work to live, not the other way around. 

As I went through my milestones this year versus my targets, I'm quite glad (and relieved) that I actually achieved most of my goals. I did fall short on some, but the milestones I've achieved were far more significant. 

I met my stylist this afternoon and he was actually quite stunned by my OC-ness. Yep, I keep all kinds of list - daily to-dos, Excel sheets of budget, Project Unity templates, grocery list --- yes, the list goes on. 

I gotta do what I gotta do to keep my sanity. It gives me comfort to do some basic project management just to get things done. 

Christmas and February are both just around the corner. Let's see how PM-ing can save me from pulling my hair out. =)     

To be happy...

...is to deliberately choose to feel good every morning. 

Two major life milestones in a span of 5 days. 

Not bad.

God is gracious enough to bless me with opportunities and second chances. 

No regrets. 

I'm glad that instinctively, gut-feel-down-to-my-core, I feel great about things. 

 

2,143

The number of unread emails in my Inbox. 

And I was only gone for 3 days.

So help me God. 

Of birthdays and another leaf to turn

I just came from a surprise birthday celeb from my team in the office. 

Tomorrow, I turn another leaf. 

Another year.

Thank you, God - for all the experiences. They were all great. Everything was awesome. 

Here's to more birthdays, wonderful friendships and great loves. 

Of extended families

Today, I realized I missed one of my godfathers. Or the only godfather I had during my baptism. 

He used to be really tight with the family but something happened a few years ago that caused a falling out with my parents. 

I actually spent more time with him during my childhood than I did with my Dad.

Family fights. 

Very tricky. 

But then --- I guess it's up to me to fix it. 

Again. 

 

Found

Lost. 

I don't want you lost. 

What dreams may come

I'm writing about this a few days late, but I thought it was blog-worthy, nonetheless. 

I dreamt about you a few nights ago. 

It had such a massive impact on me that I woke up with tears streaming down my face. My pillow was wet with tears. 'Took that as a sign that I was crying for some time before I actually woke up.

I dreamt that we were going to attend this formal evening ball together but you decided that you did not want to go with me. Yes, in my dream, we were still together. I was convincing you to go with me to the party but you insisted - being the usual hard-headed that you are - to go without me because you had other plans. I wasn't sure if you were going with someone else, but the rejection broke me. 

That being said, I decided to go to the ball with another girlfriend. 

En route to the ball, amidst the crowd, I actually saw you about to enter the grand ballroom. 

There you are, dapper in your gray suit and dark blue tie. You were looking around. You were alone. You were maneuvering your way through the sea of people, with your neck sticking out like you were looking for something or someone. 

A few minutes passed by and you were still by yourself. But you were alone. You went to the party on your own.

In a few milliseconds, I felt relieved to not see you with anyone. But that relief was quickly overtaken by grief, by a deep remorse that I felt in my core. 

In my dreams, tears were rolling down my cheeks because I felt sad that you were by yourself. In my head, there was a stream of questions. 

Who will take care of you? Who will entertain you in the party? Will you be okay? 

I wanted to run after you to be there. 

But truth of the matter is, you decided to fly solo. 

When I woke up, I was still crying. My chest was still heavy. 

There you were. You were the one who left. But here I am, worrying about you - who will be there for you, who will be there with you, who will take care of you.

And someday, somehow, it will pain me to know that there is someone. But with the pain comes the gladness in my heart that someone is looking after you. 

Your happiness, after all, is what I truly wish for. 

Monday morning bliss

Early Monday mornings give me that quiet bliss when I can declutter and untangle the web of my thoughts. 

I appreciate the silence around me, when no one else is in the office but me. I like the silence - every now and then. 

I've got 3 simultaneous project launches this week. Bahala na si Batman mode. 

Let's see up until where this go-go attitude takes me. 

RAWR!!! 

Overload

I've been in the office for more than 12 hours already. 

Seriously --- ano ang uunahin ko? 

'Didn't even realize it's way past dinner time already.

The truth is, I prefer crazy, jam-packed days with back-to-back meetings. 

Ako na. Ako na ang workaholic. :P  

Early Monday morning

It's raining. I see raindrops pitter-pattering on my office window. 

Mondays --- I started liking you ever since you afforded me my quiet mornings. 

Mondays give me hope, rekindle my flame. 

Who ever thought I'd feel differently about Mondays? 

Clarity

I don't normally post lyrics of songs but I'm making an exception. 
This song has been haunting me and is so far my longest-running LSS. 

Clarity
 
High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life
Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time
Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends
A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends
It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense
Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose
If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy?
Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy?

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

Distracted

Distracted. Very distracted Monday.

Self-inflicted so I have no right to complain. 

That soft spot

Although I can no longer imagine us again, I do think of you.

And when I do, it still has a bite. 

Sometimes I do think:

What happened to us? 

Seriously - how and why did we cave in? 

Da funk

There is something definitely wrong when online shopping cannot stave my restlessness off. 

I've been having the funk for the past few days already. 

I want to get out it. Seriously. 

Truth be told...

There is virtue in being hot and having something in between your ears. 

Observation. Fact.

Ugly truth.

But truth nonetheless. 

July

First of July.  

Time flies by so fast.

July, you're going to be phenomenal!!!

Game on! 

=)

 

My temper...

...is one of my worst enemies and my Achilles heel.

 

Overwhelmed

Today, I want to be overwhelmed. 

That's just how I feel. 

I want to fly off from the solid earth where my feet are currently planted. 

  

Fights

Not a fan.

Emotionally draining. Strangely physically taxing, too. 

Fights. 

I hate it.  

Today's FB post

In my X years of existence, I have never scraped my knee - until now. The abrasion's covering almost 50% of my entire left knee. I can't walk properly. I have to be assisted most of the time. Standing and sitting are both feats. It's clumsiness, irrationality and plain stupidity how in the world I got this injury. One thing I realized, though, is that 5 or 35, mother's reactions will always be the same. Protective. Nurturing. Caring.

Mom just charged the whole thing to a silly experience. But she dressed my wounds nonetheless - while I was screaming my head off on my pillow.

Thank God for a great Mom. Thanks for dressing my wounds through these years - metaphorical or otherwise.

Keanu-ing on a Friday

TGIF! 

As I transition myself to the weekend, a thought bubble came to mind.

Wondered how Keanu Reeves was doing these days. 

Very, very random thought. 

But I did look him up.

Happy weekend, everyone!!!

A year in retrospect: Happy anniversary to me

Exactly 10th of June. 

It's been a year today since my feet (or the plane, for that matter) brought me back to Manila. 

It's been a year of a roller coaster ride that's a mix of fun, adventure and a lot of exciting things that came my way.

The future looks brighter ahead. 

And I can't wait! 

Before I even go giddy about the greater things to come, I'd really like to spend this week for introspection. I know I've done so much but there were also short falls that I'd like to compensate for in the coming weeks and months ahead. 

But cheers to me for a great year that was! 

Not bad, A. Not bad. 

=)